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Forum: Grief and Loss


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February 18th, 2010, 06:47 AM
futuremommy2b's Avatar Mommy to Be
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 18
Hello everyone, I would greatly appreciate some help on this! I have no one to talk to, so I definitely need this advice. Two weeks ago I had found out I was pregnant by taking 3 tests, all faint positives. I was so excited. My boyfriend and I were very happy. A few days later, I found out I had a chemical pregnancy. I had to go through this alone, because my "boyfriend" is not capable of being with me right now. He has only ONE issue that tears us apart. Which would be that he has an abandonment issue from his mother, as a child, and for years has been unable to have a successful relationship with any woman. He IS NOT cheating, he just has this issue. I am willing to do anything to help him out and it's sad that I can't. Does anyone know of ANY possible way I can get through to him besides the "I'll help you out, I'll be here, ect.". THANK YOU!
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February 20th, 2010, 09:01 AM
rachel.'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 1,345
Well, I don't think there really is much else you can do. It sounds like you're being great and doing everything you can for him. Maybe tell him you want to make things work, and suggest some couple's counseling or maybe some personal therapy on his part? I think it might help you guys, good luck!

non-vaxing, non-circing, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, attachment-parenting my babies
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February 21st, 2010, 05:55 PM
VTmomma's Avatar Cool Momma
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 154
Hugs to you.
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February 26th, 2010, 07:49 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
Im so sorry for you recent loss, and to go it alone must have been horrible. As for your BF's abandonment issues with is mother, I can tell your first hand that if he does not seek professional help, it will only get worse. My brother had this issue all his life. Finaly at the age of 40, he saught help. He is a different man now. He was in so many relationships, divorced, and just did not have the proper respect for any woman because of this. Its not something you can help with, and once you understand that completely, you will find it easier to deal with. This is something only he can fix. If I had any advice for any woman in your situation, I would tell them to back off of the relationship until he came to terms with this. There is nothing good that can come from someone who has no trust in "women" because his mother left him as a child.

I wish you happiness and pray that he comes to terms with this, and that you can someday grieve this baby you lost with the man you love.
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