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Another Kind of Grief

Forum: Grief and Loss


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April 13th, 2010, 04:42 AM
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1
I am currently pregnant with my second child, a boy this time, and have not been sleeping well at all lately. I have been having nightmares of people or "things" coming to attack me or my children. I wake up in the night to take care of my 4 year old daughter and cannot get back to sleep. I had thought it was related to the pregnancy. Now, I am realizing that I am having issues with coping with the fact that my husband plans on moving out after the baby is born because he feels that we are, "Just too different." (After 5.5 years of marriage). I am the kind of person that is so busy (full time nurse, full time online student, busy with one small child and another on the way, very active with my family, have a hoard of animals at home to care for etc.) and I just don't take time to sit down and really think about what is going on/acknowledging the situation.
I really don't know what I am expecting from posting this here, but in a way a chance to more or less evaluate the situation and get input from uninvolved parties. I do not have many close friends that are women, except my mother- and she always wants me to be strong. My other girl friends are at way different stages in their lives (no kids, too self-involved to care about others, or divorced man-haters anyway). I am the person that never cries, even when my grandfather died last year and my Mom was so upset that she left me to handle everything (talking with the doctors and surgeons, deciding on hospice, visiting him in hospice, helping out my grandmother, etc) and went on a cruise, no kidding!
The saddest part is that I usually talk with my husband in times like this, but I can't. He keeps telling me that I am the strong one who always has a plan and says that I can take care of myself, so I don't need him anymore. I have expressed to him many times that I would like him to stay, but I cannot stop him of he wants to leave.
I feel selfish even typing this as I have a beautiful daughter and am trying to be excited about the next baby, and have the opportunity for financial stability. I just don't know how to grieve and "move on" to feeling good about this whole situation when the person I usually rely on has pushed me away (and in all truth, won't give me a real reason for wanting to move out so I don't know if I can trust him anymore).
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May 3rd, 2010, 08:40 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 19,240
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I am so sorry about your situation. I don't have any advice really except that you WILL get through this and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Many hugs and positive thoughts going your way.

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