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Feeling guilty...

Forum: Grief and Loss


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November 11th, 2010, 07:21 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Northern California
Posts: 843
I'm 8 months pregnant with my little girl and I couldn't be more excited. I am so very blessed. I worry though something might be wrong with me. I lost a baby last November. I was 8 weeks pregnant and had a miscarriage. During that time it was really hard on me and DH but now that we're so close to having our girl I feel guilty not thinking of the baby we lost. I never felt as close to him, we named him Nicholas, as I do this baby. I don't ever want to forget about him or the sorrow I felt during that time but it seems like it hurts less and less and I worry I'm becoming cold or something. I'm not sure. I just feel weird and guilty about it. is there something wrong with me?

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November 13th, 2010, 10:07 PM
Minilegs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Kaia's Mommy
Posts: 5,271
I lost a baby in March at 11 weeks after 19 mos of trying. Though I mourned the loss, I didn't have an attachment like I do with my baby now that I know the sex, and feel him. I don't think it's wrong to have mourned the way you needed to and don't feel the "sting" so to speak now but, just remember.

Everyone grieves differently and there is no wrong or right way. Life does go on as we see every day. You don't have to hurt to remember your baby.
Melanie, mama to Kaia, Ewan, and Paige
Paige Clementine born October 23, 2013
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November 14th, 2010, 12:01 AM
NewportMamaBear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Priest Lake, Idaho
Posts: 12,944
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I lost a baby in November of 2007 at approximately 9 weeks. Since then I've gone on to have a healthy son who is now two. I was very heartbroken and mourned for quite some time after my loss. I remember being pregnant and like to think that my son has an angel watching over him, but I don't necessarily grieve anymore. I think it's okay to move on and love your new baby, but still remember the love you felt for your first baby. There is nothing wrong with you or the way you feel. Everyone handles loss in their own way.
Thank you Zarziza for a beautiful siggy
Missing my dad 2/23/1961-11/1/2010
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