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That update I promised

Forum: Grief and Loss


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May 16th, 2011, 07:44 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Sorry ladies. Things have been busy and emotional this past week leading to both good and bad news.

The good news is brief. We're FINALLY moving on the road to adoption. It'll be a while still as we have to raise the money, but it's coming.

The bad...Where to start? Ok, some background. Several months ago, my brother had a spot in his mouth that was thought to be cancer. All this time I thought he'd had the biopsy and it was...However, he never had the biopsy. He's also had an issue with low blood counts. I had assumed this was from chemo for the cancer, but obviously that's not the case. In addition to those two things he has been diagnosed with Pernicious Anemia. Last week, he was told by his doctor that there was nothing more they could do and to expect to go into organ failure and die. However, there have since been many issues with that doctor including an ER doctor that told Donnie that the doctor had no right to tell Donnie he was dying and that there is no reason to believe that is the case.

Now for the current developments:

As of right now things are at a standstill. It's become very obvious his dr is not a good one. He's been trying to get a referral for more than a week and hasn't been able to get one. The doctor has him going in daily for the shots instead of just teaching him how to do them or setting up home health.

He goes to the surgeon on Thursday for his hand. (He also ween Friday.) Not sure if the actual surgery will be Thursday or not.

He went to the ER last Thursday and the ER dr told him that his dr had no right to tell him he was dying and that his records don't indicate either way...so that's a little bit of hope. (And more reason for another doctor.)

Donnie asked his current dr for something for his nausea and the dr refused saying he doesn't give out narcotics. 1) Nausea meds aren't narcotics. 2) The guy has severe nerve damage and muscle loss. He's probably in enough pain to warrant them...though he's NOT complaining about the pain.

Also, in all my research, I can't find ANYTHING that mentions organ failure in conjunction with what he's been diagnosed with. Now, there is at least one other thing going on that hasn't been dx'd yet. So maybe that's it...who knows at this point.

I do know that Donnie is planning on asking about a bone marrow transplant if the new doctor agrees this isn't working (at least he says he will). Donnie is an identical twin so he already has a PERFECT match. I know Dean would be more than willing to donate!

Also, can we add Dean to your prayers as well? He's taking all of this very hard. In fact, he has made comments about not knowing if he can live without Donnie. I'm terrified that he'll do something stupid leaving me with three deceased brothers.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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May 16th, 2011, 04:23 PM
NewportMamaBear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Priest Lake, Idaho
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Praying for your brother and the rest of your family.
Thank you Zarziza for a beautiful siggy
Missing my dad 2/23/1961-11/1/2010
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