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I NEED your opinions! I'm so torn!!

Forum: Mommy Weightloss and Fitness


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November 18th, 2008, 05:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,518
I'm seriously torn...
My paid maternity leave ended about a month ago... and I really don't know if I want to go back, or if I should go back to work.

I'm being head-hunted lol. I'm sought-after in my field because of my experience, I went & had phone interciew, then agreed to meet in person. It went well. I basically asked for the moon and a high salary- and looks like he's going to also offer bonuses! So, on that aspect, all looks great. My issue is, I don't really need to work. My dh makes enough that I CAN stay home and be a SAHM and care for her myself.
Staying home with Sadie is going really well. I have 3 friends at home right now with kids all around Sadie's age. In fact, 1 is 2 weeks older, and 1 is only about 2 months older. So she has 2 girl buddies close in age. One is now a SAHM, and going to have another baby around the time I plan to. And the other one just had a baby and wants more, SAHM too. The 3rd is going back to work in Jan. We all tend to get together on twice a week in the mornings, then 1 days a week I take her to a music class, 1 day a week my MIL comes for about 3 hours so I can get to the gym, and the last weekday is our 'free-day'. DH leaves around 8am & is home by 6ish. It's a great arrangement...
So, WHY go back to work?
I hear it's good for her to be more socialized, and it'd be good for me...cut the cord LOL
I also do karate 2 nights a week & on Sat (and one weekday during the day) so if I was at work I'd miss that time with her. It's important to me. I don't mind going in the evenings cause she's asleep by 7pm.

On the other hand, daycare is SO EXPENSIVE. It'd eat up a lot of what I'd be making. I'd have a couple of hundred left over a week I think though, if the #'s I crunched were accurate.
I also think I'd waste, for lack of a better word LOL, more $$ on starbucks (LOVE IT!), lunches out during week, work clothes, extra gas cause it's 75 mins a day in driving, at least, extra...

Then again, my MIL offered to 'help' in any way she coul din terms of watching Sadie. That's fantastic, because there'd be less travel time, and less $$ spent on daycare. BUT Sadie wouldn't get the benefit of being around kids or see her buddies at least twice a week like she does now. My mom won't watch Sadie at all, so I'd either have to find a daycare provider for part time (pain in the butt) and I don't know if anyone will do that.

I htink I may want to go back to school after all is said & done too, so having the extra funds would be great for tuition if I can save up...and we want to take a holiday next year. A cruise or something. And we need new furniture etc...

SO WHAT DO I DO!!!!!!!?????????????

I need to tell my potential employer within the next 2-3 days!

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November 18th, 2008, 05:49 PM
Ninky's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wilmington Delaware
Posts: 6,485
To be honest I'd stay at home. My pediatrician asked me if I was going back to work and when I said no, he said "Good. You never hear if a mother who said 'I wish I had worked more when my child was a baby' but they always say 'I wish I had stayed home with my baby.'"

Now as to being more socialized, she'll get that from your friend's kids. Don't worry about that. Plus it sounds like you get a good amount of "me" time, so there's no reason to "cut the cord."

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November 18th, 2008, 05:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,788
I agree, if you don't miss work or need to work then why. Enjoy the time with your little one. Keep current in your field by reading journals or taking a night course and if you ever feel the need to go back you won't be out of the loop.

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November 18th, 2008, 06:14 PM
fka teresarunningmommy
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 47,594
Okay, having been a working mom, a sahm, and now a wahm I'll give my 2 cents. Can you work part time? Part time has been the best option for me. Part time gives you the option to feel that satisfaction of working without having to give up my family. I don't know if that's an option, but if you were to go back to work I would choose part time. I wouldn't work full time though if you didn't have to.

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November 18th, 2008, 06:55 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
I agree with Teresa. I work out part time--so 2-3 six hour days a week---DS gets to socialize with the kids at his dayhome, and I get to spend time with adults and make extra money for extra holidays and my hobbies. I don't "have" to work either, but we like holidays and nice things, and DS loves the other kids and does really well with the sitter. I also went back to work when he was 12 months old, so that made a huge difference with my comfort level and leaving him. It works well for us, I get a little time to myself, and Nolan gets to explore the world a little without mommy at his side, it works for our family.

Lucky mother to five!

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November 19th, 2008, 05:19 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
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I went back to work when Benjamin was a year old and stopped working when he was 2 years old (due to a move etc) and I haven't looked back since - but working for me paid for child care and the few hundred that was left over was spend on gas and food for work etc - staying home for me was the best option.

Good luck with whatever you decide
Marsha's Girlfriend

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November 19th, 2008, 06:08 AM
peacoxx's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Norfolk
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if you are torn it means you should stay home. People who really need or want to go to work after having a baby do so without much thought. I am home and will stay home as long as I can. Yeah i don't wanna lose my skills and would love to be social, but then again, it's all about my family anyways so i still won't have much social life afterwards. I'd rather stay home with my boogars, go on fieldtrips and teacher's meetings and deal with their tantrums than to go to work and come home dealing with it after i dealt with corporate issues!

my MIL never wanted to stay home, but our kids are only little once, u can't get these years back.

Oh in addition, yes the kids get socialized at the gym, as do I AND i do occasional secret shopping.

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