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November 19th, 2008, 07:10 AM
Mellza's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: NWArkansas
Posts: 3,457
I'm back! sorry to be MIA for a while. I had a pg scare this cycle, and I guess I am not completely out of the woods yet, but my temps tell me that af is knocking...
So the healthy life style has not been going as well as I had hoped. The exersize hasn't been consistent, my eating hasn't been that great, but no BIG huge binges on anything. One plus, I haven't drank anything! (which pg scare will do that) ... so that helps. I hadn't gained, yet haven't lost. I started my Rx weight loss drugs (yes, I know I know... we had much debate over their uses) but I caved.
The truth for me is, I am going to ttc whether I lose weight or not, and because of my situation I need to be in the best health possible. Its a long story, but I need to give this future baby every possible chance of survival. So I am on phen, dexter, and celexa. Its a mix provided by a berry-atric (how do you say?) Dr. I will be on the drugs for three months I believe. Today is my first day, so I am going to wait and see how it goes. I am a little concerned, as I should be, but in the end if it keeps me from doing something drastic, like having lapband, then it will be worth it.
Its not do or die for me yet, but it will be if I do not make a move.... So here I am again, trying to get back on the wagon!

I have been thinking... I am scared...Yes, scared to lose weight. I say all of the time that I want to be thin, I think about it... Fantasize about what it would be like to where some skinny jeans... But deep down I am afraid of becoming skinny, because then it will be expected of me to be skinny. Being fat, people know I am fat, they except fat, so I can eat and not disappoint. I am afraid of losing the weight, then failing, or not losing weight and failing too... Anyone battle with this?
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November 19th, 2008, 10:25 AM
fka teresarunningmommy
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 47,594
Welcome back! I can totally relate to a lot of those feelings. If you get to your goal then you have to maintain it. Try not to think of things so far ahead of yourself and that might help. If you just work on small goals, like working on today it might not seem so overwhelming. I'm glad to see you back over here and you got lots of support from me! Good luck sweetie! I am sure you can do this!

Check out my running blog - Wannabe Running Mama
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