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I am so digusted at myself

Forum: Mommy Weightloss and Fitness


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June 30th, 2005, 08:00 PM
sandycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Kentucky
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Just what the topic reads.

I am so depressed about this weight gain. I have tried so hard for 4 weeks to loss weight. I can't even lose one pound. I don't even want to go out in public, I'm afraid I'll run into someone I know, and they'll say "looks like you gained some weight".

I hate going out in public, I try to hide or dodge in and back out. I lost 70 lbs not even in a years time, then since Late Jan I've gained 20 lbs. I quit smoking and I guess all I do is eat.

I am at my wits end, I can't lose weight. I can't make myself exercise. My clothes are too tight for me, I have nothing to wear. I don't know what I am going to do..

I really feel like I wille nd up picking up cigarettes again, because when I smoked I kept the weight off. I dont want to gain weight..

I am so depressed.
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July 1st, 2005, 08:36 AM
melissa29624's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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im sorry you are feeling so down about your weight... i am too. i think it is pathetic when we get so depressed about our weight. i feel guilty if i eat a chip or piece of cake...it really shouldn't be that way should it???? i am trying to lose weight too... i have been trying to diet for about 4 days now....and i am STARVING
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July 1st, 2005, 02:16 PM
ana410ny's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
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i know i'm going to feel disgusted once i have my baby... i can already see some extra padding right below my belly button.. and i got stretch marks there too so it's going to even look worse.

getting back into shape is tough... as we all know... but if you want to stop feeling disgusted hun.. you have to start somewhere. What i think you need to do is realize that even though your body is not what you want it to be right now... it's okay. You just have to get serious about eating healthier and get some exercise in. I know it's easier said than done... but i'm sure if you have the strength and will power to quit smoking... you definitely have it in you to lose those extra inches.

my suggestion is to start off slow. what i mean is.. even walking helps. How? well.. if you start getting your body used to activity it will demand more and more. You'll start off walking slow... and then within a few weeks.. you'll notice yourself pickin' up the pace a little bit more.. you'll feel less winded and more energetic. then you may even start jogging or going for an extra mile.

It takes time and dedication hun.. Accept how you look right now... and be realistic on what you want to look like in 3 months or so.

I know you said you hate going outside because of how you look... well maybe you can go for an early early walk... or a late night walk around the block or something there are very few people out that early or late, so you dont' have to worry about confrontations.

And eating healthier could just mean cutting back on sweets, or giving up soft drinks or juices. Take baby steps and you'll find yourself taking bigger and bigger steps as the time goes on.

I wish you the best of luck... and we are here to support you. We are all here for the same reason.. to change our appearances one way or another.

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July 2nd, 2005, 09:52 AM
Miranda and Maria's mommy's Avatar Not Mike's girl
Join Date: May 2005
Location: the armpit of Canada
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well -- congrats on the 70lb weight loss...that is amazing!

that being said, I always equate weight loss to this: I am standing my kitchen, I have the recipie, the ingreidents, my apron, my baking pans....I just have to do it....same things weight loss. I have exercise tapes, exercise equipment, cute outfits to work in, supportive husband, enough time to do it, I just need to DO it. That is the hardest part. I have taken on another stradegy for the past couple of weeks, not thinking about it. I tend to consume myself with can't eat this, hate working out sort of thinking--always thinking about my weight and how much I hate it...now I don't allow myself to think about it--I just do it. I saw your post somewhere about PCOS--which I also have...that makes things a little tougher, but not impossible.
I hate the way I look in my clothes, at times I feel disgusted, guilty, unworthy, and gross. But that thinking has got my nowhere but at a size that I know isn't healthy for my or a potential baby that I so badly want. Right now that is my motivation, I would rather get pregnant at 130 pounds than 170 pounds....
we're here...vent, get it out, but remember...

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July 2nd, 2005, 11:29 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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i have stuggled with how much i weighed my whole life and i'm not a big person. from the age of 8 i would throw up my food and eat only once a day. i still have problems with eating and the weight and how big i've gotten with pregnancy really depresses me when i look in the mirror. especially since just before i got pregnant i was starting to come to terms with the problem i had with food.

i mean i was hearing people telling that the amout of food i ate was a disgusting amount, that i was fat, and that my body was gross. thanks to this i have been depressed for a really long time and hide it behind the day to day smiles and like some one else said i pray that i don't run into anyone since i don't really want to hear what they have to say about my pregnant body anymore. i mean i would even come into work and people would make comments about how much i was eating, and how big i was getting. i took it really hard. when i look at the pictures now i wish i could be back there and hope that i can. i even tried the weight loss pills on top of the fact that i wasn't eating.

like the other's said just start slow and remember that muscle weighs more then fat so if it seems like you aren't lossing anything you could be it's just that you are develpoing muscle and becoming more toned.

good luck
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July 2nd, 2005, 06:37 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Originally posted by ana410ny@Jul 1 2005, 03:16 PM
I know you said you hate going outside because of how you look... well maybe you can go for an early early walk... or a late night walk around the block or something there are very few people out that early or late, so you dont' have to worry about confrontations.

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That's all great advice Ana, I plan to start running at night when I'm ready and after I've walked for a while cause I'm embarrassed to be seen, but I really, really want to start. I know I will get in shape fast if I run. I lost 40lbs right before I met dh, and now weigh the exact same thing I did before I lost it. How depressing. The good thing is I learned from losing it so i know what works for me.

How about not going on a diet? Diets don't work for me, I want to eat more. So how about just making a few changes? Like Ana said, switch the soda for lemon water or a diet minute maid if you don't like diet soda. Those taste really good! So does crystal light. Switch regular mayo for light, can't really tell the difference. And maybe a handful of strawberries instead of cookies. Use a small plate at dinner, you can't put as much on it. And try walking before you eat, you won't be as hungry.
Linda, mommy to Nikolas & Andrew, 5 year old twin boys and Ember Rose, almost 3.
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July 5th, 2005, 05:23 PM
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Sandy, I know exactly how you feel right now. I have gained so much weight in the past 3 months...I'm 5'4" pushing almost 200lbs right now. About 5 yrs ago I was at 145 and all of a sudden it just started adding on. No particular reason. I never changed any of my habits. I don't understand it. I am so disgusted at what my body looks like. Everything sagging and cellulite everywhere and I've got bra fat. I won't let DH see me at all. I carry most all of it in my belly, butt, and thighs. It really depressed me. I love food too much though, that's my problem. I'm afraid to quit smoking because I'm afraid I will gain weight, and I know that was one of your concerns before. Stop smoking and gain weight, or keep smoking and stay decent. You don't really win either way on the healthy side of it. I am a really unmotivated person as well, but once I start something I usually stick to it. It's just the part of me starting is what is difficult. I know I want to lose the weight, and I know I want to exercise and eat healthier, but for some reason or another there is always an excuse to why I haven't started yet. I've got to start somewhere, so I think next paycheck I will get a tredmill. I know I could walk everynight, but my town is dirty and can be scary, so I prefer to stay home. We are in this together girl, so try to keep your head up!!

We are angels with but one wing, and to fly we must embrace each other
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July 5th, 2005, 05:38 PM
sandycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks girls for all the advice~! Sadly I went back to smoking, but the good news is I have eaten less and actually stuck to my diet, and I can already tell progess! I'm not saying my way is the right way and that smoking is the best thing to do, Believe me it was my last resort- besides diet pills but anyways- at this point in my life I was unhappy about my self image and I had to find a way to feel better about myself.
Good luck with dieting everyone!
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July 7th, 2005, 03:55 PM
KBeans's Avatar Believe in your body
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it's not always about going on a "diet". if you are serious, than it's about changing your eating habits for good. i crave sweets every once in a while and so i allow myself a moderate amount, but i usually just keep it out of the house to begin with and opt for a healthier sweet food (mmm watermelon). if it isn't there to eat then i won't eat it.

like ana said, just cutting the soft drinks will help TREMENDOUSLY. drink water water twaer instead. it is the best helper in weight loss. don't let anyone else's thoughts bring you down, depression eating is a horrible cycle and hard to get out of. be confident about your weit loss already and realize that you have done it once, you can do it again!

good luck...
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