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when homeschoolers really don't socialize?

Forum: Homeschooling


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September 18th, 2008, 01:53 PM
rabbitranch's Avatar est. 2000
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: central FL
Posts: 13,912
I know that's one of the biggest reasons people are anti-homeschooling - no socialization. Now, most of the homeschool families I know make a HUGE effort to involve their children in a variety of activities, as "formal" as dance classes, karate, Boy Scouts, etc and as "informal" as a trip to the grocery store. I have an online (local) friend who wants to homeschool her 2 kids - the older one will be kindergarten age next year and the younger is a year behind. The mom is a bit agoraphobic and she shuts herself in with her kids all day long. They have each other to play with but no friends outside of infrequent visits with cousins. The kids either watch tv, play video games, or play with their toys - they rarely go to a store, or park, and never a structured activity with other kids. I know this mom won't change her ways - she's really a nice lady but I'm thinking she wants to homeschool more because she's afraid of leaving the house to take them to school than she is doing it because she wants a better education for her kids. I want to encourage everyone to think about homeschooling but do you think there is a type of person who would do better with their kids in public school? Do you think kids can be stifled by a true lack of socialization? Should I mind my own business?

Heidi, mama to 5 kiddos and an lost 11.25.13 at 11w5d
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September 18th, 2008, 02:21 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,160
yes, yes, and yes. I do think kids need some sort of socialization. Not necessarily at their ages. They are still young and having each other for playmates is just fine. They're not going to suffer by not having playdates at their age. But when they get older is a good idea for them to get to know other children/ and the rest of the outside world.

I think there are good reasons to homeschool and there are bad reasons. A mother's agoraphobia is a bad reason. But that doesn't mean she'll make a bad homeschooler. And hopefully other people in their family will make an attempt to take them outside once in a while. Hopefully, Dad, grandma, aunt, or someone takes an interest.

You probably shouldn't say anything unless you saw things get extreme. I bet they'll be fine.
Earthy-Birthy Tree-hugging Mama to 5 (6 for now) great kids:

SciGuy,14 Butterfly Girl,12 Wyldchild,7 FlowerFairy,5 and Babybird,3

and RK, 13, exchange student from Japan

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September 18th, 2008, 02:49 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,657
All Three are yes. Miguel has an opportunity to go to karate once a week, acrobatics 1x a week and boy scouts. He can go to the library, Forrest or park daily and has a chance to do things with other kids anytime day or night. how often does he choose to do anything with other kids? Maybe once a week. There are times he wants to be around kids a lot and others not at all it's just his personality. I think socializing is important but shouldn't be pushed on a kid. but I don't think it should be a parents personality thing.

I'd invite her to a HS group or co-op or offer to take her kids with you for her to have alone time.

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September 18th, 2008, 03:23 PM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
Yes, yes, and yes here too. Though socialization is pretty overrated. If she's going to homeschool to be more able to leave her house even less often, that could end up bad. But I agree with Robin to mind your own business unless it got extreme. How "socialized" are the kids now?

~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
Smaller on the Outside

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September 18th, 2008, 05:12 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,596
If you do ANYTHING for the wrong reason, then the outcome usually is bad.
I just hope she is a good teacher and the kids dont suffer because of her illness. If the only reason she is pulling them out is because she is afraid to take them to school, she is just feeding into her illness and taking her kids down with her. Shes at the point she needs medical intervention.
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