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I just don't get it why cant people be more supportive!?

Forum: Homeschooling


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February 23rd, 2010, 08:42 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
I am just venting as I am just frustrated to no end!!! So much going on and of course I can't be supported by my parents. They are still not supportive of our choice to hs, I think my dad is coming around more than my mom. DH drives 2 hours each way to work every single day, which means he has to leave a little over 2 hours before he is supposed to be there in case something is up on the interstate, he spends over $600 in gas a month, not to mention the wear/tear on his car. We have talked about moving off and on for a while now, but we didn't do it sooner as his job was telling him that they were going to allow him to transfer to a place about 25 minutes or so away. The state has put a freeze on moving people and hiring new employees, so he is basically stuck where he is for now. So we came to the decision that we had to go, we could just no longer afford to stay here. We found a place which is about 12 minutes from his work. I told my mom the other day that we found a place and she is all ticked off that we are moving. She seems to think that we would be better off finding a room to rent for him while he works that he stays there. She is not getting that the kids need their dad. I am so tired of feeling like a single parent all the time. The kids are so tired of not seeing their dad. So much stuff around the house gets neglected because no one feels like doing anything. We have went through almost all of our savings because with the extra money that is now being taken out for insurance/taxes and all that stuff, the cost of living going up, we have nothing to show for all the hours that he is away. I cant wait to move and have some space between us right now. I am not going to stop hs'ing because she wants me to. I am not going to stay here because she wants me to. She controlled me and made my life a nightmare growing up and I am not going to continue!
I just found out that my friend that I have known since I was like 3 yrs old has stage 3 Peritoneal cancer. DH's dad is getting worse now and the have really upped his morphine and o2 intake. I doubt he makes it to spring.
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February 23rd, 2010, 09:22 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
I would move in a heartbeat if I were in that situation. We feel the same way, but dh's drive is only 45-60 minutes. We tried finding something closer to work, but we couldn't.

Where do your friend and FIL live? Are you able to be close to them?
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February 23rd, 2010, 11:10 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
Sorry Jenn~ I moved 1000 miles to get away from my family and it wasn't far enough. My Dh is freaking out because my mom moved to be closer to us and is now 2 1/2 hours away.
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February 23rd, 2010, 11:18 PM
dalynnrmc's Avatar pronounced (day-lynn)
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: near Waco, TX
Posts: 3,305
We ARE moving for the same reasons. We're actually moving closer back to family, but our family is supportive of our homeschooling and lifestyle. My hubby works nights and so our schedule is super strange, but they are great about it.

Well, NOW they are. It did take moving away - we've been 3 hours away for 3 years now - for them to all finally chill about all of it. They weren't ever mean or degrading about any of it, but starting to hs was a big deal at first and us sleeping late was seen as being lazy for a long time. They finally did get it though.

We're moving for hubby's job situation. He only ever promised 45-50 hours a week; we were grateful for a job where he was on salary. As a baker, he works tons of hours over the holiday season but not hardly anything in summer when all of our bills are higher. He's working many more hours than that, though. Doesn't get to leave work at work, doesn't always get a night off even if he schedules himself one, and has to deal with the most childish things from some of his bakers. It's nuts.

This is all on top of having to drive an hour minimum to get to work. Moving closer doesn't do us any good because he is over stores in both Austin AND San Antonio. We actually moved in April to make it so that he's driving pretty much the same distance no matter what store he needs to get to, instead of having to leave at 7pm on the nights he has to go to certain ones (and then not getting home until after 8am).

Our move will include a pay cut for him, but demographically we won't feel it hardly at all, assuming the Lord provides us a home in the right price range. There are plenty available, as per our recent trip this past weekend. In fact, we might even be a little better off after we get moved. And he'll be working 4, 10hour shifts, not anyone's boss and thus not having to deal with anyone else's crap, and he will get a full 3 days off of work EVERY SINGLE WEEK. That will be heaven for us - Glory to God!

Anyway. Sorry you're having to deal with unsupportive family and it sounds like life is full of other stressors and worries for you as well. Hugs and prayers for you all! Remember to trust in, rely fully on, and put your confidence in the Lord. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will direct your path.

Time away from the naysayers is often a good thing! Proved to us to be a good thing for both us and for them to come to terms with our lives. We're looking forward to a peaceful and prosperous rest of our lives.

Much thanks to Alethia for my beautiful siggie and tags!!
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February 24th, 2010, 06:25 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Hampton Roads, VA, USA
Posts: 3,739
We would totally move for DH's work as well. DH has to leave an hour ahead to be sure he's on time (because traffic here is HORRIBLE and if there's even one accident he's likely to be late anyway!), and since that means he leaves at 10:30 and doesn't get home until at LEAST 8:30 or 9, it makes me feel like a single parent a lot of times as well.

DH's parents live 5 mins from our house, which I hate, but at least they keep themselves out of our lives for the most part. Of course, they keep themselves out of our lives in ways I wish they WOULDN'T as well, and I almost wonder if it would be better in those areas if we lived further away. *sigh*

My SIL, niece, and nephew live with them, and *I* think it would be nice if they would purposely set aside time once a month to invite DH, me, and Rebecca (and any future children here) to go do something WITHOUT my SIL and her children, and NOT at our house or theirs. Not our house since FIL is allergic to dogs, not their house because that would require kicking SIL and the kids out... But seriously, what in the world is wrong with a once a month trip out to a park/zoo, or DQ, or Pizza Hut, or whatever, especially to spend some special time with grandkids you hardly know?! Instead they never come here (thank goodness, because I really don't need MIL 'helping' here!!), and pretty much never invite us over to their house, so the only times we see them are when we show up, IF they happen to be home and available at the time we have the ability to be there. It drives me nuts. But then, MIL will say something like "just let me know if you need any help" and if I ask for said help, she doesn't have time to help, soooo... yeah. Helpful.
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February 24th, 2010, 07:06 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Well I am glad to hear that I am not alone out there!!! We had moved to FL and it was a GREAT break to get away from everyone. When I was 8.5 months pregnant with Whit we moved back here, we actually left FL on 9/11/01. We came back because we decided we wanted our kids to be around family and because that is when DH's dad was diagnosed as being terminal. He was having a rough time with his mom calling saying that he dad was going to die anytime. So back we came. 9 some years later he is still alive, although is is in the final stages now. They are about 20 minutes from us right now and my parents are about 7 minutes away. My mom still wont talk to me. She thinks she needs to control everything. Before I told her that we were moving, we were talking about grocery shopping and I had said that I was getting ready to go. She told me to bring the kids over. I knew they couldn't keep quiet about moving while I was gone, so I went ahead and told her. She told me that I might as well get used to taking the kids with me shopping!! I didn't even ask for them to come over and now she wants to play that with them. I think not.
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February 24th, 2010, 07:52 AM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
Oh, good grief! It's not like shopping with kids is the end of the world... especially when a controlling MIL is involved. She needs to get over it. I go w/o my kids when I get the chance, but only because it's faster. They're well-behaved, and I have no problem taking them with me when necessary.
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