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My daughter does not want to homeschool

Forum: Homeschooling


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August 8th, 2011, 07:40 AM
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 53
I dont know what to do with my daughter, she is giving me such a hard time about homeschooling. She wont do her work without a fight, and when she does it she does it she doesnt try. She says that she wants to go back to her old school and that is Not going to happen, that school ruined her and she was only there for her Kindergarten year. She used to be the most sweet, kind child and now she is rude, doesnt listen, says the most disgusting things, and I know she picked it up from those kids at the school she used to go to. I am trying to take a slow gentle approach with her, she is required to do math and reading which those two subjects take about 45 min. and when me and my oldest son are doing our lessons if she doesnt give me too many problems i try to work on grammer, writing, science, history, ect.
So I guess I am wondering if i should back off of her somemore and take more of a unschooling approach with her and let her learn what she wants to learn until she is ready to cooperate, or should i just stick to my guns and say this is what i say do so you are going to do it. I know the one thing i will not do is put her back in that public school she was in last year.
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August 8th, 2011, 09:33 AM
christianmommato3's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I might be in the minority, but I say just make her do it. Tell her in no uncertain terms is she going back to ps. So she just needs to her schoolwork. She might be doing this just so you will send her back if she is "bad enough"..... you have started school so she needs to do school with the others. JMO
stay at home, homeschooling momma to Jacob(12), Alisha(10), Andrew (5)

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August 9th, 2011, 06:57 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
How old is she?

1.) Is the work you are giving her too hard or too easy?
2.) Does it fit her learning style?

If the answer to the first question is yes and the answer to the second is no, then fix it. If not, make her do the work. Her job is school and that is that.

~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
Smaller on the Outside

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August 9th, 2011, 08:16 AM
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 53
Originally Posted by Butter View Post
How old is she?

1.) Is the work you are giving her too hard or too easy?
2.) Does it fit her learning style?

If the answer to the first question is yes and the answer to the second is no, then fix it. If not, make her do the work. Her job is school and that is that.
No I dont think the work is to hard, I do give her things that will push her a little but i know she can do it. When I give her my undivided attention she will get every problem right, but if i am helping her brother, or tending to the little ones she all of a sudden cant do it anymore. So I know that she likes all of my attention, but i just cant give it to her all of the time.

As far as the work fiting her learning style I am still trying to figure out her learning style and still trying to figure out curriculums, I know she is a very visual hands on person so we use a lot of manipulatives and she likes to do her work with color pencils, but other then that i am still trying to figure out how she learns.
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August 9th, 2011, 09:15 PM
Jill0924's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would agree with the above to tell her that this is it, she is expected to do her work and this is the way it is going to be. At the same time though, realize she is entered in a power struggle and rather than meet her there, you need to diffuse the situation. She is expected to do her work, but if she is throwing a fit (crying screaming, etc...) try not to argue or "deal" (if you do x I'll give you y) with her. State your expectations and then back off. Realize that if a lesson doesn't get finished it will still be there tomorrow and she can do it then. When she is calm, talk with her about what she would like to learn about and then try to incorporate it in. If she is excited to learn cursive, add it in. If she wants to play an instrument, find her lessons, etc ... If she feels she has some control and input it may help her let go of the power struggle. Also realize that some of her issue may be feeling like a "baby". Since when she went to K I am sure you talked up how big she was to be going to school and now you've, from her point of view, said she's not "big" enough to handle school. Let her know that this decision is not based on her, but rather something you feel will be better for the family. Point out how smart she is and how she is all grown up because she can x, y, z ... etc... Build her up a bit. You may even want to give her some special responsibility to help her feel important. Good Luck!

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August 12th, 2011, 06:34 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
(Coming into this late... sorry.)

I agree. If a power struggle is the only thing going on here, too bad! She needs to suck it up and do the work. Finding the right fit or level might be an issue, but if not, I would suggest trying an either/or approach. Offer two things: what you want, and something you know she won't choose. ("You can either do your school work without the attitude, or you can __________." ... scrub the toilet with a toothbrush or something.)
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August 13th, 2011, 07:45 PM
mommytokem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
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I'm late on this too but I know what my dh would say, "Your the mom, make her do it." It's not an option.

If there is something that really interests her, take her to the library to check out books on that that she can read during her free time.
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August 15th, 2011, 08:01 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
(((HUGS))) If she can do it, then your just going to have to take a firmer stand with her. I know what your feeling, going through that too, although they say that don't want to go to PS, but all they do is screw around and school is taking all day unless they really want to, then they can get it done in no time. I have resorted to taking away ipods at night time, no bedtime reading, no wii time, etc. Whitney just wants to read and nothing else. It seems like math is what is slowing us down and it is nothing they cant do.
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