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Question about an 8yr old

Forum: Homeschooling


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September 21st, 2006, 03:56 PM
joyfulmommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,501
Just a little history before I ask my question:

My step dd, Mariah, is 8yrs old. Her mom is not in the picture at all (there's been phone calls 4times since I met her, and only 2 supervised visits more than 2years ago), and she has been with me and called me mom since she was not quite 4yrs old. Since then I have had 2kids who are now 2 1/2 and 6months old. We have homeschooled Mariah since 1st grade, so this is our 3rd year (she went to a private school for kindergarten). We have a large group of homeschooling friends and she attends regular extracurricular activities.

So, here's my question. (Please keep in mind that I love her and am NOT trying to trash talk her- these are not exagerated discriptions and are not meant to be cruel, I just dont know what to do):

Should an 8yr old girl behave the way mine does. She is completely "ditzy" or "airheaded." She does things that make no sense at all! She misbahaves in ways that I would expect my 2yr old to bahave. She has gotten in trouble a few times and tried to let my 2yr old take the blame, and the punishment. She lies constantly, she's sneaky. She makes the same mistakes over and over (on simple things such as chores). She asks questions she knows the answer to, she rambles on and on about things that nobody has any idea why she's talking about them. She seriously NEVER stops talking and I am concerned about it. I can tell it is like an attention thing, but she gets lots of attention.

This may sound like a joke. But I am honestly concerned and don't know who to ask but other mothers of 8yr old girls. I am not the only one who notices this. Many friends and family of mine have said that her behavior is just not something you'd expect out of an 8 yr old (more like a 3-4yr old). There really is no way to describe it, but my friends agree that it is rather odd. In many ways she acts older than her age (she is very book smart, she loves to hang out with adults as well as other kids, she loves to be helpful with the younger kids, even the ones who arent her siblings). But most of her personality and day to day behavior is really imature and obnoxious. I know she is only 8, and that they go through that stage around this time that is just awkward. But still.. I just don't feel like it's normal.

Thanks for listening, ANY advice would be greatly appreciated!


*edited to add: There are many behaviors that she does that I just cannot find a solution for (such and the lying and sneakyness). I feel like I have tried everything, and my 2yr old is going to pick up on them and start doing them too.

mom to...
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September 21st, 2006, 05:13 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,547
That must be so hard. My first thought was, and I hope you don't take offence, is autism. My nephew-in-law. (dh's brothers son) was diagnosed as border line autistic. The two main things about him that come to mind are imature behavior. he's 15 but acts about 9, and non stop talking. There is such a range and diversity with autism spectrum disorders, but I would talk to the Dr about the possibility of testing her for asperger's. http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/aswhatisit.html I hope you don't take offence at this sugestion.

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September 21st, 2006, 06:05 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,657
I agree with the above post. As for the lying and the sneakiness. Every time I catch miguel lying I ask him "ARE YOU SURE?" and If he says yes. I tell him YOUR lying and it makes me sad and does he want me to tell me the truth.

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September 21st, 2006, 07:29 PM
joyfulmommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,501
autism... Wow, that is one I never ever would have thought of! I don't take offense at all, I appreciate the suggestion. I will definately have to look into it more. I am probably one of those that characterizes autism in a stereotypical way (not talking much, doesn't handle social situations well etc..). Thank you both!

mom to...
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September 21st, 2006, 09:18 PM
KarateMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
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Wow, as soon as Jo mentioned autism, I thought "Yeah, it sounds similar to what I've heard about Asperger's Syndrome" which, I believe, is catagorized as a "type" of autism. I don't know a whole lot about it, but my cousin's son has it, and her son acts in ways similar to what you have described in your stepdaughter. And I noticed that the link that she gave relates to Asperger's.
I don't have any advice, just a bit {{{{HUG}}}} to pass on. I hope that you get some info that helps you!
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