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May 21st, 2007, 05:11 PM
MissyPrincessEha's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,318
I am feeling much better about the whole sharing my home with another woman. And yes, it is hard to have two women in the house. And I won't kid myself and say Sabrina has no issue with me.

I had a really good sermon on Sunday morning and it soothed my soul. So, I am over that peak of fustration and back to normal.

I do have some news though and I don't know how to feel about it. Sabrina is pregnant. So...now there is a baby on it's way in my home and it isn't mine. And if I said this didn't bother me, I would be a liar. I am happy for a new life. But my heart aches for Sabrina and I know she is not at the point of really doing what she needs to do to free herself of her abusive husband. He has already shown how wonderful he is....he is just a butt!

So....now Mattmos and I are prayerful on what to do with all of this. We will need a bigger home.

And I am kind of at a strange place. We have kind of been offered to adopt a 12ish week old baby, he is special needs. (I will post a whole story soon, it is just more a thought as of now) I would jump at this chance if Sabrina wasn't here. If you know me adoption has been on my husband and my heart for years now. We know we will adopt. We want a baby now. But because I feel like Sabrina and Mikey are here and now she has another baby on the way.....and that growing our family is not an option. And I hate that. But I know I would welcome this baby into our lives if she wasn't here. I don't want to not do something that we really want and would feel lead to do.

Sabrina brought up that I would watch her newborn...and I know that can't happen. I don't know why she thinks that can happen. I homeschool, l am learning midwifery, will have my own clients one day, and I want to grow my own family. I CAN'T watch her baby.

I think she will go back to her husband when she has that baby and doesn't want to leave it. She loves nursing her babies and being with them. She is a great mama, she just doesn't have great circumstances for being a SAHM.

So....that is where we are.
"I am a midwife. It is not just what I do, it is what I am, and I grow in it."
-Ruth Cobb

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May 21st, 2007, 05:32 PM
JustAKrazymom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: The Berkshire Hills MAss
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Chelita I can not even begin to imagine what this is all meaning in your life and to your men. I am praying daily for you all.
Homeschooling "soccer mom" by day.. crazy bartender by night
Noah 17,Declan 10, Jadziah 8, Taejan 6
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May 21st, 2007, 05:35 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: The Sunshine State
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Goodness Girl!! I'm so glad you are over the frustration. I'm sure that will make the situation much easier. I really hope that everything works out for you. Everything will happen the way it is supposed to in it's own perfect timing.

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May 21st, 2007, 05:37 PM
momroma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You are in my thoughts as well, you have so much on your mind right now! Keep us posted and know we are all thinking of you....

Trevor 14, Adelaide 11, Owen 7, Noah 4, Oliver 2 weeks!

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May 21st, 2007, 07:08 PM
Stellaluna's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 777
It sounds like you have some difficult decisions to make Chelita...I'll keep you, your family and Sabrina in my prayers!

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS">Homeschooling Mom to Sam (3-21-02)

My Photography Website

My Blog - Pollywog in a Blog</span>
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May 21st, 2007, 07:13 PM
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
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WHAT? I know nothing about the 12ish week baby. Now I feel like I've eavesdropped and heard something I maybe shouldn't have? Regarding that, I think that you should remove Sabrina and Mikey from the picture of your decision making. You are ministering to them for the time being, but it is a temporary situation. If adoption has been on your heart and you have been presented an option, then consider it as if Sabring and Mikey aren't there, because they won't be forever.

I'll pray that God will provide for Sabrina during her pregnancy. That he will give her a man to be a father to both of her children and that will allow her to be the mother that He has called her to be. Maybe that will be a change of heart for her DH or maybe that will be another man. That's up to God, as only he is big enough to change a man like that, and only if the man wants changing!

Charlotte, midwife mama to Samuel and Atley, mourning the loss of our "March Baby"
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May 21st, 2007, 07:56 PM
MissyPrincessEha's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,318
No, you aren't dropping in...I was going to tell you of it tomorrow.

It is just that our convos have been so full lately and this came up evening of the 19th....and then again on the 20th. Matt and I are praying and taking it slow. You know who the baby is.
"I am a midwife. It is not just what I do, it is what I am, and I grow in it."
-Ruth Cobb

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May 21st, 2007, 08:01 PM
KarateMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh, wow Chelita. I'll certainly be keeping you in my prayers about all this! That's a lot of stuff going on!
-- Lisa --
Wife to my best friend Troy, mom to Reilly and Declan

You're never fully dressed without a SMILE!!

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May 21st, 2007, 08:13 PM
MissyPrincessEha's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,318
Yea...but since about 3 years ago my life has been getting busier! I say bring it on!

Sabrina was kind of depressed today. She came home from work and school and zombied her way through her evening. I know she is so tired. Her hubby is a pain and called her and I could hear him losing his mind over the phone at one point. Then he hangs us and calls back. Such a baby. He can't handle the truth. But I think she should just not call him or answer the phone for a few days the next time he hangs up. I am keeping my mouth shut though. Don't want to add to that stress.

In church on Sunday our preacher said something key. That those who control do so out of insecurities. I know that to be true from my own experiences. And I can recognize that crap behavior in someone else. Sabrina is always shocked that I know and can foretell what M will do...but I know that type. He things that yelling and controlling her is going to make it better. But it has become a vicious cycle and now that she is pg again she is sappy again. *sigh*

He pitches fits. I have done the same with my husband. It stems for me out of my childhood. And I have a pretty good idea that his does as well. He loves her but he doesn't know healthy love.

Matthew and I have started a marriage class at church on Wednesdays. It is GREAT! And just one class and my marriage is getting back to a place that is romantic and functional for our family. I want our kids to see a marriage that was worked for and won. I want them to see two people who can put things on the table, deal with them and move on. I worry about Mikey and all the mess he has to hear. And my kids in the process.

I don't want to ramble or sound whinny...I am just needing a place to think out loud in a way.

My house is quiet. I am on the puter. And my hubby is almost home. Life is good.

I think it would be easier if Sabrina would reduce the drama in her life. It is making me feel crazy. Don't get me wrong I can be dramatic...not judging that...I am a girl. But it isn't normal stuff.
"I am a midwife. It is not just what I do, it is what I am, and I grow in it."
-Ruth Cobb

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May 21st, 2007, 08:28 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,547
Wow Chelita you do have a lot going on. Will keep your family in my prayers.

"Cats are keen, cats are great, cats are clean they lick your plate."
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May 22nd, 2007, 07:33 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
Wow, Chelita. So much. I'm in complete agreement with what Charlotte said. I don't think Sabrina and Mikey and the new baby should enter into the decision at all about this new baby. Make it a prayerful decision together and I am sure you will end with the correct answer.

~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
Smaller on the Outside

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