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Unplanned pregnancy and scared!

Forum: Pregnancy Over 35


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September 10th, 2011, 08:24 AM
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 103
Hi ladies:

I was on this board a few years ago when I was pregnant with my 2nd. Never planned to be back. Found out on Tuesday at a routine doctor's visit that I am pregnant with #3 (due 5/15/12). I am totally freaking out as this was completely unplanned. To complicate matters, DH and I have hit a rough patch in our marriage and just started counseling. He assures me that he wants this baby and there's no way I could terminate the pregnancy but I am so scared of all the unknowns, and especially of possibly ending up a single mom of 3. I have a 5 year old DS and almost 3 year old DD and just turned 38 last month. My first two pregnancies have also been horrible in terms of morning (aka all-day!) sickness - with DS it eased up around 24 weeks, with DD I was still vomiting the day before I went into labor. I work full-time and we have no family nearby to help out. I am just afraid of how I will cope with everything and guess I am just looking for some encouragement. I'm also feeling incredibly guilty b/c with my other two planned pregnancies I was over the moon when I got my BFP and feel like a bad person that I don't feel the same right now about this one. I know that I will love this baby but it feels so wrong to not be excited right now. Anyway, I look forward to being a part of this group again - everyone was so helpful and supportive last time!
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September 10th, 2011, 02:00 PM
Isabelle's Avatar 3 Princes & 1 Princess
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 72,637
Hi and welcome to the groups

Congrats too I think you will do fabulous, after all you are a mom and mom's rock

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September 11th, 2011, 08:09 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
Hi and Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I am sorry you and DH are having a rough patch. I was a single mom for 15 years and raised my boys on my own. I left my ex-husband when my youngest was 2 months old and I had 3 boys under the age of 5. It wasn't the most ideal situation but we made it through and are very close. The boys are well adjusted and I never had any real behavior issues with them. I would focus on the now and try not to worry about "what if" right now. Things most always seem to work out in life - just not the way we plan it out.

I had m/s until about 2 weeks ago with this pregnancy so I know what you went through. I hope it is easier this time around.

(((hugs))) feel free to vent - we understand and are here for you.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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September 15th, 2011, 05:31 PM
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 11
Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Well, I know what you mean about marital problems, but a rough patch doesn't necessarily mean the end. My husband and I went to counseling awhile back and it really helped us understand each other better. In any event things can seems better just because of you are taking active measures to help.

Good luck!
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September 16th, 2011, 10:45 AM
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 103
Thanks ladies. I am feeling a little more hopeful that we are on the same page and are going to work together to get us to where we both want to be. It's hard b/c we really do get along great but as my DH put it, we have become more like roommates than spouses. We are both a little nervous about the next few months and handling a new baby but I'm taking things one day at a time and so far, so good. Since I know for sure this will be my last, I am kind of looking forward to really savoring every bit of this (even the m/s, which has already started to take hold on me but I'm trying to stay on top of it this time).
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