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My 1st and 2nd will be 9 years apart - still only children?

Forum: Pregnancy Over 35


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  • 1 Post By CaliMommy
  • 1 Post By disneydiva76
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April 28th, 2012, 11:20 AM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 7
My first child will be 9 years old when baby#2 arrives. I didn't plan to space them this far apart, but my 1st child's father (and my husband) passed away when she was only 4, so I've had to start over.

Now I am pregnant with #2 for me. I never wanted my daughter to be an only child, but feel like she will still feel this way because of the age difference between her and the new baby.

Does anyone else have children with this age difference, how did they get along and bond?
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April 29th, 2012, 03:45 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 711
Hello! Posting from the September DDC to tell you that I have three younger siblings all at least 12 years youngster than me and I love them dearly.
kimberly874 likes this.
Missing baby Elliott Thomas since March 10th. I love you forever and always. <3

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May 2nd, 2012, 10:16 AM
disneydiva76's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: California
Posts: 2,780
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My first was 11 when my second was born. She got along with her fine but it was more of a no big deal attitude with her. Now she's a teenager so of course it's play time with little sister when ever it benefits her. Our little one is like an only child . She craves playtime with other kids her age. So that made us decide to have another one so she would have a sibling closer in age to grow up with.
I sure felt like a first time mama all over again with her as well! Things were alot different even in the stores compared to my first.

I'm sure your kiddos will get along great. In the end they love each other. It's just a different dynamic
kimberly874 likes this.

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May 4th, 2012, 07:02 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
My boys are 21, 19, and 16... my daughter is 5 months old. I really thought it would be like having 2 families living under the same roof but its not at all. My boys adore her and have bonded with her more than I could have ever imagined. They can't wait until their baby sister has friends over and they can embarrass her... the sibling rivalry never ends!

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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May 16th, 2012, 08:04 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NE MS
Posts: 9,524
My daughter is 23 and my son is 4.My daughter also has a 2 year old and another one due to make his arrival in July.

I married at 18 and had my daughter with my first husband.We divorced in 2006 and then I remarried in 2007 and we decided we wanted to have a child together.
My daughter had graduated high school in 2007 and she had moved out with some friends.

For me since there are so many years difference(19) it is like having 2 "only" children.My daughter grew up as an only child and my son will as well.

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May 19th, 2012, 11:51 AM
suzanneyea's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Outside Montreal
Posts: 594
My son is 9 and I just had a baby. I just never got pregnant in those 9 years and not for lack of trying. My son was so excited to be a big brother! The reality of a baby is a little harder, but I know they will be close one day. I think a lot of it has to do with how you raise them.
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May 22nd, 2012, 06:00 PM
magz88's Avatar First Time Mum
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,411
I am 9 years older than my youngest brother. We are definitely not as close than if there was less of an age gap. One of my friends is 12 years older than her sister. Since there is still a long time living under the same roof it is not really like being an only.
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June 11th, 2012, 06:36 AM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 11
My daughter will be 10 when baby #2 arrives. Totally understand your question. In our case the two siblings will have at least 8 years together before the oldest leaves the nest. You will have 9 years. I think that in itself helps the bonding process. Guess we shall see In some ways it will be nice having an older child around to help a little here and there. When my daughter found out she was going to be a big sister to a brother, she was so excited. She still tells me she won't change any "boy" diapers but she'll hold him and give him lots of kisses. It is like someone mentioned before, depends on how we raise them. Try to allow your child to be involved as much as he or she wants to help with the new baby. Don't force and the oldest will naturally be curious.

Blessings to you and your expanding family.
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