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Last minute stresses

Forum: Home Birth


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April 5th, 2008, 10:15 AM
Mommy2Amara&Kayori's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Missoula, Mt
Posts: 17,184
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So when Amara was born , I made it clear to everyone that no one would be in the room except for James and my sister. Well James kicked his sister out of the room when I no longer wanted company and my sister thought he was talking to her too, so it ended up being just me and James. Both of are moms were both kinda sad and upset, but they got over it.

Anyways last night my mom asked me, So is your sister going to be there. And I said yes, but thats it. I guess I just kinda figured she would have known, since I didn't want anyone there last time. She started crying and got all upset. I am not changing my mind, but it kinda just hurts and adds a stress, ya no.

Then there is James's mom. Last week she told me how terrified she is. She has told me she was scared before but never went into detail and also joked about it. So I had no idea she was this scared. She even said she doesn't want to know I am in labor, and just to call when me and the baby are ok. So this is another stress.

I have considered not telling anyone until after the baby is born, but I know some people would be a little upset about that. I just thought I had nothing to worry about, and now this comes up.

I am just glad I have locks on my doors LOL, it won't be like at the hospital, were once the baby is born everyone rushes in. I hated that. Me James Amara and the new baby will definately be having some alone time for a while.
Jenny - Wife to James - Mommy to Amara(8), Kayori (6),
and Rinoa (1)
missing our Angels 2001, 2005, and 2010

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April 5th, 2008, 12:33 PM
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The last thing you need is more stress in your life right now! If it were me, I would only call the people you want to be with you when you go into labor and no one else. Everyone else can find out once the baby arrives. I have even considered waiting a couple hours or more after my birth to even start phoning people, especially if it's at night. They can wait until morning! Then you don't have to worry about unsupportive or worried people being in your house when you don't need them there.

I hope something works out!
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April 5th, 2008, 07:14 PM
ragmama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Southern VA
Posts: 40,025
Oh, I'm sorry you have these stresses too. I was so worried before Amelia came too, because my mom just informed that she'd be here the minute she knew I was in labor - without ever ASKING if I wanted her here or not. It worked out great for us in that I labored through the night and delivered around 7 a.m., so we didn't call anyone till she was here. Maybe it'll work out similarly well for you! Or maybe promising your mom that she'll be the very first to know would make her feel a little better?

As for James's mom...well, okay, don't tell her anything until baby is here - healthy and whole and perfect. Hard not to stress over her freaking out, I know, but there's nothing you can do about that. Might as well avoid it till it's no longer an issue - that's what I had to do with my MIL too.

Hugs to you - not too much longer to worry about ANY of it!!
mom to Rachael, 10 ~ Milly, 6 ~ foster mom (waiting on the next call)
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April 7th, 2008, 12:02 AM
Alison79's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 10,232
I'm sorry you're having additional stress right before your birth! I labored in the middle of the night and we didn't call anyone until the baby was here. My Mom was with us but all other friends/family were called later in the day. I agree with the advice to only call who you want to be with you, people will get over any hurt feelings once they get to meet your new little baby
Alison - Mom to: Emmeline (7/14), Augustus (2) Maximus (4) Eleanor (5) Reid (6) Evelyn (8) Lucas (13) Christopher (14)

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April 7th, 2008, 10:43 AM
Mommy2Amara&Kayori's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Missoula, Mt
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thanks ladies

I kinda hope I do have the baby at night, that way I don't have to tell most people. I will be telling my mom though. She has had 2 home births and is my inspiration. I feel bad for not having her there, but I really want it to be just us. My sister will be there because she knows how to stay back and out of the way, plus my midwife wants someone there for Amara.

I have decided that I will not call anyone personally. My sister can call my family and James will call his. They will tell them that they I am in labor and we will call when the baby is born and I am ready to have company.

I told both James and my sister that I do not want to know what anyone on the phone has to say if it is negative or if it will stress me out at all. So hopefully this will help.
Jenny - Wife to James - Mommy to Amara(8), Kayori (6),
and Rinoa (1)
missing our Angels 2001, 2005, and 2010

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