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Midwife meeting

Forum: Home Birth


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September 25th, 2009, 09:34 PM
Effervescence's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 6,791
I met with my first candidate for a midwife today. First of all, I really loved the facility. The drive there was quick and easy (not so much the drive home, because the entry back onto the highway was closed due to construction ) and the birthing center is awesome. It really is like birthing at home- there's a bedroom and a kitchen etc, and it feels very comfortable and nice. Just the place I'd want to give birth since I can't really at home. She had displays of cloth diapers, from her clients who make them and is even having a cloth diapering discussion group this Monday. She offers bradly classes there (which really appeals to me, because with Jonah I got really attached to my bradly instructor, and really wanted HER to help me birth the baby. In fact, my husband kept calling her throughout the birth so she could give me encouragement etc. She was fine with that, and had even told him to do so. I still keep in touch with her via email on how Jonah is doing. I just loved her!)

But, I felt a little awkward with this midwife. From the moment I stepped in the door, I felt a little out of place, like I didn't know what to say or do. There was a lot of awkward silence, like she was looking to me to figure out what to do next, and I was just thinking "this is my first time with this!" She also seemed irritated that DH couldn't come to the appointment. And when she asked if we would want any ultrasounds, I jokingly said "well, we want to know the gender so we'll have to have one!" Now, I KNOW that isn't the reason for an ultrasound, but let's face it that is what a lot of women think about when they're heading into those doors for an ultrasound. That's why I made the joke, because while I do want to know that everything is okay with the baby, I also (proabably equally) want to know the gender. She snapped at me, kind of in what I thought was a rude tone, and said "That's not a good enough reason for an ultrasound!" and gave me a huge lecture. I am not sure that is the kind of energy that I want, KWIM?

But, she is knowledgeable and comes highly recommended by just about everyone I know. she offers a lot of great things through her center, and is very understanding that we arent sure if we want to have the baby at home or at the center. She even has kits made up in case someone changes their mind in the midst of labor that they want to stay at home, so she can just grab what she needs and go.

So, although I loved the center, I'm not to sure about this midwife. I have one other center, and two midwives, to meet. The other center is three times as far- almost an hour and half drive as opposed to the half hour drive. But if I have a better relationship with the midwife, then that's worth it.

I think Jonah votes that I go with this first midwife though, because she had lots of neat toys for him LOL He didn't want to leave!

Click the blinkies!

Thank You, Pattyandthemoos, for my beautiful siggy!
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September 26th, 2009, 08:29 PM
CameraLinds's Avatar Zane & Jude's mama
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 23,138
I'm sorry about her vibe....I competely agree with you...if you like another one better and feel in place and comfortable then it's totally worth the drive!!! (that's what me and my DH say ) I personally don't think I could survive/stand a MW like that at my births. Hope you like the others better GL!

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September 27th, 2009, 10:25 AM
cheezpoofs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Buffalo, New York
Posts: 6,085
Yeah, I'd just forget about the niceness of the birth center and consider this midwife a "no". Your relationship with your midwife is really important. You need someone who you can trust and get along with well too. Good luck! Hope the next midwives click better with you.

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September 28th, 2009, 06:58 PM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 57,412
I think its a good idea to keep interviewing. You certainly have to be comfortable with the midwife who is going to help you during labor. Keep us posted with your next meetings.

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