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"How Do You Deal with the Mess?"

Forum: Home Birth


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February 9th, 2010, 12:46 AM
Effervescence's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 6,791

I outed myself and my plans to have this baby either at home or in a free-standing birth center, to the mothers in our play group. I don't usually talk about birth with them, because they are all the type to get an epi at the first contraction, schedule an elective induction for convenience, and drugs drugs drugs! They already looked at me like I had five heads when I let them in on the fact that I had no pain medications with Jonah, so I just stopped discussing birth with them and left it to be a "to each his own" kind of thing between us. I don't judge them for their choices; I think every birth is beautiful and amazing. But I did feel judged by them when I told them about Jonah's birth.

So anyway, we were scrapbooking (having a Mom's Only Night) and just chatting, and one of the moms had to have her daughter tested for allergies that day. This brought up a conversation about the fear of needles for a lot of the moms there, and one of the moms said that the worst part of labor was getting the IV. I laughed and said that is often what I say too! Getting the IV was most certainly the worst part for me. I then let on that I am so terrified of needles that is why I prefer a natural birth- I fear the epidural more than the pain of giving birth. This is 80% the reason that I birth naturally. If they could administer epis through an oral pill or something, I'd be much more likely to get one LOL. We talked about how I go into panic and fight or flight with needles, and I said if I need an emergency c-section, I'll probably have to be put all the way under because I don't think I can sit still without fighting. I lose all control of my body and actions when it comes to big needles like that.

So then one of the moms- the one who has an opinion about everything (isn't there one in every group?) said "Have you talked to your OB about this, because shes going to need to know it when you're going into the hospital!" and that's when I dropped the bomb that I have no OB, and there will be no hospital if we can help it.

Surprisingly, the only response this got was "How do you deal with the mess?"

Is this a typical response? What do you usually answer? All that I could think to say was that it isn't as messy as people think, and we bought a special cover for our bed.

LOL I just thought it was a funny reaction. Sorry for it to be such a long post over something so silly. This particular mom has been kind of grating on me lately, telling me things she doesn't really know about Jonah (we are having developmental problems with him right now) and I just had to post something about how her reaction made me laugh. I never even thought about it being messy, although I did think a little bit about the stuff floating in the water after I read a post on here asking about it.

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February 9th, 2010, 06:33 AM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
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I got that question several times after getting the "Are you sure? Because you had that c-section before.. Is it safe?"

I just explained that yeah, theres mess but my midwives clean it up. During a home birth, we're prepared for these messes by having things around such as old towels and sheets we don't care about getting any blood and such on. They did the laundry for us, cleaned it all up and on top of it made us something to eat!
Marisa (29) married to J (35), mama to G (10), D (7), B (5) and K (1).
Little Miss joined our family Dec 4th, 2015 at 35 weeks.
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February 9th, 2010, 07:22 AM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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"What about the mess" is probably the #3 most-common question. (#1 being "is it safe" and #2 being "Why!?!" asked with a combination of horror and awe.)

My answer- "What mess?" There is some blood and a lot of fluid, or at least it can seem like a lot, I think it is usually around a liter... But that's nothing that one or two chucks pads can't sop up. (I've found that if you can manage for your water to break on the toilet, that's the perfect solution!)

I think most people still have the idea that homebirth is this archaic experience where Mom births Baby in a huge puddle on the floor and then gets busy with the mop and bucket.
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 20 Raechel: 18 Daniel: 15 Joseph: 13 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 7 Lucy Marie: 5 John Anthony: 2 AND Baby due Dec. 2015

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February 9th, 2010, 08:32 AM
Alison79's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Texas
Posts: 10,232
My midwives always laugh about that at the end of the birth. Last time there was less than a half a trash bag of mess. The towels went into the wash, placenta was bagged and in the freezer and that was it!
Alison - Mom to: Emmeline (7/14), Augustus (2) Maximus (4) Eleanor (5) Reid (6) Evelyn (8) Lucas (13) Christopher (14)

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February 9th, 2010, 09:05 AM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Pavia, Italy
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I haven't been asked that question, but we've discussed it. Hopefully I'll be giving birth in our bith pool that'll be in the dinning room. So unless I'm splashing all over the place, there should not really be a mess. I will have chux pads on the bed for when birth is over and we go to cuddle, and I'm going to put some chux in the living room just incase it happens there. Otherwise you just pick up towels, chux, etc. My Midwife and her assitant are the ones who clean up. And I'm sure my family will help too.
Mama to G, L & twins F & M
Started off 2013 homebirthing suprise twins Fia Celesta & Maddalena Isabella
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February 9th, 2010, 11:06 AM
GranolaMamaOf3's Avatar ~Heather~
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Location: GA
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Lol! Too funny!

Are you having an unassisted birth? (you said there was no OB, and didn't mention a midwife, so Just curious!)

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February 9th, 2010, 12:18 PM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 57,412
I was actually concerned about the mess as well... We were renting the house that Kate was born in, and we had wall to wall off white carpet in every room but the kitchen and the bathrooms. I had a water birth, but got out right after the birth, and still had to deliver the placenta. I was soooo anal about not making a mess it was kinda funny.

Anyways, I do think its a pretty normal question. Usually the answers about having plenty of chux pads and old towels keep the naysayers quiet (until they can think if something else to harp about).

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February 9th, 2010, 12:28 PM
Effervescence's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Originally Posted by BirthDoulaToBe View Post
Lol! Too funny!

Are you having an unassisted birth? (you said there was no OB, and didn't mention a midwife, so Just curious!)
No, there's a midwife. I'm too chicken to go unassisted, and DH kind of goes into the "I don't know what to do" mode, so while I love him, I need more support from someone who knows what she's doing

But to this lady, I don't know that there is a difference in her mind between having an unassisted birth and a birth attended by anyone but a doctor. I did tell her there is a midwife though, and where I found her etc. She was curious, but in a skeptical way, which I guess is to be expected. I guess I just thought everyone's first response was going to be the "are you CRAZY?" not "isn't that messy?"

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February 9th, 2010, 01:27 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Bay Area CA
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Haha! I just tell people that there was barely a mess at the hospital with Lily so I'm not expecting a disaster of a mess at the house. Just some old towels, sheets and chux pads should suffice.

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February 9th, 2010, 02:26 PM
GranolaMamaOf3's Avatar ~Heather~
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: GA
Posts: 5,906
^^^See it was the opposite for me! I made a huge mess! My water didn't break until he was crowning, and once it did, it popped, and sprayed everywhere!! My midwife said that the mess was all her fault though, because she makes a mess with every birth!

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February 9th, 2010, 02:46 PM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 6,250
The only one who has asked about the mess is DH! He's the type who gets skeeved by any blood, fluid, anything (he's puked a few times after Brayden vomited or had a blow out ). That was actually his only stipulation on homebirth - "that's fine as long as I don't have to clean it up"! Once he found out the midwife takes care of things he's been on board ever since!

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February 9th, 2010, 08:52 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5,791
What mess, honestly? You generally birth over plastic of some kind, onto chux pads. The placenta plops in a bowl. The midwives leave your house cleaner than they found it and do all your laundry (at least here they do).

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February 19th, 2010, 09:41 PM
Adam&Kaydence'sMommy's Avatar formerly wiseg2
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Big Rapids, MI
Posts: 1,191
We're going to use plastic backed sheets chux pads, newpaper, paper towels, things like that. We also rent the house our baby will be born in so I want to make sure there isn't a mess either. This is my 2nd child but the 1st was born via c/s so I don't have a very good idea about how big the mess will be.
Gina(20) wife to Kevin(32) married on 5/30/08 and proud parents to Adam (9/27/08) and Kaydence (3/23/10)

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February 21st, 2010, 12:58 PM
tygrss's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,090
I never had anyone ask me that. People always asked whether it's safe and why I wanted to do it, but never about the mess. LOL. I think that it's a normal reaction though.

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February 22nd, 2010, 06:05 PM
laisydaisymama's Avatar Natural Birth Junkie
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 22,043
I have been asked about the mess and "can you get an epidural at home?"

homebirthing, tandem nursing, cosleeping, babywearing, picky vaxing, cloth diapering Christian doula mama


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