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Forum: Home Birth


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April 15th, 2010, 07:14 PM
Effervescence's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 6,791
So I think that we actually made our choice! We're pretty firm now that we want to stay home. The more we talk about it, the more it makes sense to have the baby here rather than driving to get to the birth center.

Now we need to talk to Daryl's family. When we brought it up at dinner the other night, FIL started talking about cancelling his business trip that falls over my due date, and MIL said "Yes, you don't want to miss the excitement!" and I was all like "ummm, what excitement, you'll be missing it too!" They are SOOOOO excited about our choice, which is good because that means they are supportive of us having the baby in their home, but at the same time I really don't want them around. Talking to them about privacy seemed to go over their heads at that time, so we'll have to bring up some gentle suggestions. I think if it is a nice day then maybe we could suggest they take Jonah to the zoo for a few hours. I know my FIL and BIL wouldn't actually come down to our apartment when I was in labor, but I think MIL expects to be helping now. My midwife told me she would step in and tell her that there are too many people distracting me, and for labor to progress she should go upstairs too. So that makes me feel better. We can move Jonah's bed (he sleeps in a pack n play) to one of the extra rooms upstairs so that they won't have to come down to take care of him.

I feel good about this! I'm ready to get moving LOL I'm glad a choice was made and we pretty much can say with certainty where the birth will be. It helped too that a homebirth was $1000 less

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April 15th, 2010, 07:25 PM
GranolaMamaOf3's Avatar ~Heather~
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: GA
Posts: 5,906
YAY! I'm sure you are relieved! and you MW must be happy that you made a decision! I hope your MIL doesn't get too pushy, or offended, but honestly, since when do people think they can just invite themselves to someone else's birth?!

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April 15th, 2010, 07:58 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 19,074
Glad you made the decision! I hope your MIL doesn't interfere that much.

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April 15th, 2010, 08:15 PM
Effervescence's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 6,791
I don't know if it's more that she's inviting herself to the birth, or that she feels entitled to see the baby born, but more that she really really wants to help. She always wants to be helpful in the wrong ways. Her intentions are usually good, but her methods rarely line up with mine LOL. I think she feels that since she birthed four children, she has a lot to offer in the ways of wisdom and advice, but I really just want it to be me and Daryl. (and of course the midwife and her assistant)

oh yeah, and I forgot to add that she bought a book about homebirth this week, and she's "reading up on all the birthing positions". Again, nice to have that enthusiasm, but... uhhhh...


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April 16th, 2010, 07:37 AM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 57,412
On one hand, its sounds really wonderful to have a MIL so excited about your choice to homebirth, and one that would even read about the process. Sometimes I wish I had that support and interest from my parents or inlaws. BUT..... BIG BUT.... I can see how that would be so annoying especially when you don't want her there!!!! I think its great that your midwife knows your wishes and knows what to say to make her leave. Its also a great thing that Jonah will need her help and so she can busy herself with his needs and wants.

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April 16th, 2010, 12:38 PM
Effervescence's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
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yes, it is nice that she wants to help and is reading up on it etc, but she is really pushy with her two cents. A lot of times, what she thinks is being supporting, is actually hindering the way I want to do things. I'm almost afraid that since she's reading that book (she couldn't remember the name of it when I asked her) that she's going to feel like an expert on it and try to override what the midwife says. And, I'm a pretty private person when it comes to things like this. We'll see how it goes. My fingers are still crossed that it happens when they are in California LOL

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April 16th, 2010, 12:59 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 16,734
Can your MIL send some (only some haha) of her enthusiasm to mine? She wanted to get us to stop from having our hb in 08 but it didn't happen thankfully. Now she just doesn't talk about where we have the birth.

That would annoy me as well. I am glad both sets of parents are hands off in that department. They want to help but in other ways. My MIL is 4 hours away and my mom takes care of the boys for me when I am in labor. I hope she backs off some for you but it is great she is so into it.

And that is definitely good your midwife said she'd step in and help you keep her at bay.
Marisa (29) married to J (35), mama to G (10), D (7), B (5) and K (1).
Little Miss joined our family Dec 4th, 2015 at 35 weeks.
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