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Scared to Homebirth

Forum: Home Birth


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August 30th, 2011, 03:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,300
We'd planned a home waterbirth for our son Chauncey who is now a month old.

Due to Pre-E at 37 weeks, the birth we planned didn't happen. At all. not at all.

I was rushed to the hospital and spent 30 hours start to finish(5 hours pushing) and got practically every drug around. The pain and agony was UNREAL. It was even worse than I'd ever imagined. By hour 26 I was begging for a C Section. And this was even with an epidural which as adminstered 3 times.
Right after delivery(with forceps) my blood pressure dropped to very dangerous levels(from a high of 220/140 to 70/50), I lost a ton of blood and the tearing I experienced caused me to be stitched in 3 places. Recovery took a good 3 weeks, and in fact I'm still taking pain meds and am having "issues" in my girly parts.

Part of me wants to schedule a C Section for my next child. The thought of going through any of this again is terrifying. And the recovery time would be the same or possibly less.

Part of me wants to try again for the home water birth. I know it can be so beautiful and so much easier.

I feel so lost and confused. There is no way I can go through again what I did with this last birth so I'd like to be at home.
But yet, I can't imagine being in the same pain without the possibility of some drugs around which of course makes me want to be at the hospital. Plus I'm scared of what could happen at home if my blood pressure should fall so quickly or if I should tear so badly. I'm not sure I'd be safe at home in this situation.

It's weird: I really, really want a home waterbirth. But yet I'm scared to even try since the last birth went so horribly wrong.

Anyone have a situation that was similar? Any advice?
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August 30th, 2011, 10:23 AM
Alison79's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 10,232
My first birth was an induction - 30+ hours of labor, epidural only took on one side, 3 hours of pushing, vacuum assisted delivery and 3rd degree tearing. It was a very traumatic birth and I was very nervous going into another birth. My next two were hospital births (also inductions) but much better deliveries with minimal tearing and very quick recoveries. After that I decided that if I wanted a non induced natural birth I knew I needed to be out of the hospital and I went on to have three home births and am planning my 4th this February.

It's not possible to compare a medically induction to a spontaneous labor. My first was induced at 38 weeks and I know my body wasn't ready. In your case having Pre-E made it necessary, but your next pregnancy may not have the same pre-E issues. Perhaps plan for the home birth and keep in the back of your mind that you may need to have a hospital birth. Each birth is different, but in general 2+ labors are a lot shorter and easier than fist, especially when it comes time to push.

I'm sorry that your birth plans were turned upside down, it's so hard when things happen out of our control. I was very upset after my first birth, I felt like my body had failed me and it took a long time to realize that it was okay to mourn my lost birth experience but still love my baby.
Alison - Mom to: Emmeline (7/14), Augustus (2) Maximus (4) Eleanor (5) Reid (6) Evelyn (8) Lucas (13) Christopher (14)

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August 30th, 2011, 12:33 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,300
It's not possible to compare a medically induction to a spontaneous labor.
True, and good point. I also have heard the 2nd births are easier and faster. Hopefully that will be true for me.
It is upsetting to not get the birth I wanted-in fact I got the exact birth I was trying to avoid. But I am thankful that I have a healthy son and am alive and well.
Because of my age we are hopitg to try for baby#2 in only a few months, which is why I'm already trying to come up with a birth plan.
Thanks for your advice.
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August 31st, 2011, 10:41 AM
HippyMomOf4's Avatar Hippy Mom Extraordinaire
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Tulare, CA
Posts: 13,686
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I had a hard birth with my 3rd, he was in the LOP position and just wouldn't come out and it took me 5 hours and a manual rotation to push him out, i had issues with my epi, and was pressured into getting one. I knew from the moment after his birth that if i had anymore children that i would be having them at home, i had a successful homebirth almost 3 months ago and i would change it for anything. If DH and I have anymore children they will all be born at home, unless something is wrong and there is a medical reason to go to the hospital.

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September 2nd, 2011, 10:26 PM
Quantum_Leap's Avatar frequent flier
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Seattle area, Washington
Posts: 9,756
I wish you could have been on when this live homebirth video was posted the other day! http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f2...l#post24759015 I think watching it would be very reassuring.

I have not been in a similar situation as you, so I can only empathize. I will say, though, that the primary advantage of a homebirth (for most people who choose it) is that those women feel safer and more comfortable at home than they would in a hospital. Labor tends to stall and go less smoothly when you feel anxious or threatened. Hospitals scare a lot of people, which is why labors in hospitals tend to go slowly. If you, personally, would not feel safe birthing at home, then a homebirth wouldn't have that advantage for you. (This has nothing at all to do with the reality of which setting is safer, since for low-risk women both are equally safe. It has everything to do with feelings and your own personal sense of security).

There's nothing inherently better about a homebirth. A home is a better setting than a hospital for those who choose home; a hospital is a better setting than a home for those who choose hospital. (Hope I'm explaining myself well).

May I ask where you're located? If you're in the South maybe you could birth at The Farm. The Farm Community - Summertown, Tennessee They have such an astoundingly good track record and low C-section rate, even for those with previous bad birth experiences. I think that the midwives there must do a fantastic job of making women feel safe.

Thank you to the SSMC makers for my beautiful siggies!

(x2)(x2)(October 2011)
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September 3rd, 2011, 08:00 AM
c'est_la_vie's Avatar Is it nap time yet?
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: EARTH
Posts: 27,742
I think the ladies have already offered up some amazing advice, but no two births, even by the same woman, are the same. I've done it three times and each birth is very very different. If you're at home, and you're not being pumped with things you're not sure of, if you're left to do as your body wants and feel safe in your surroundings and allowed to get in your own rhythm, you will be amazed at how amazingly liberating this can be. The after birth high, I can't even put it into words. It's better then any drug & worth all the labor.

I wish you the best in your journey, if you'd love to talk more, I'd love to hear from you.
Mommy. Vegan & Straight Edge. Doula & Placenta Encapsulator. Animal Rights Activist.

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September 15th, 2011, 05:33 PM
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Cali
Posts: 63
I am SO sorry that you didn't get the birth you wanted with Chauncey. *hug*

Harper was our first, and our home birth went beautifully, I would do it again in a heartbeat. But, I also had no complications, so that factored into our home birth decision, for sure.

I think what c'est_la_vie said is very true: No two births, even with the same mama, will ever be identical.

Steve's Wife since 5/2009
Mama to Harper Grace born at home into her daddy's hands on 7/17/2010
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