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What to do with son while in labour?

Forum: Home Birth


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February 3rd, 2012, 07:31 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 4,956
Hi there ladies, I'm Tasha (29) and I'm planning a home birth!

I have a 13 month old son who will be 19.5 months old when this baby comes along.

I had a very fast labour with Jacob (less than 3 hours) and we had planned a home birth. I had some strange bleeding very early on in labour, so called my midwife who asked me to met her at the hospital (10 minutes away) to check on bubs and myself before going back home again... however Jacob had different ideas and arrived 7 minutes after walking into the hospital. It was a very easy and straightforward labour and apart from bad tearing, I was very happy with it!

We are now pregnant with baby number two and are planning a home birth again, but I have no idea what to do with Jacob. Obviously we are going to need someone here to keep him out of the way, but the only two people he is really comfortable with is either my Mum or MIL. They both live 1.5 hours away. My Mum isn't happy that I am planning a home birth again and is doing her best to convince me to go to hospital again... my gut instinct is that she is not the best choice to have here. My MIL would be a lot more respectful to my wishes to stay out of our way and considerate on Jacob so may be the better choice.

Is it a wise choice to have my planned 'look-after-son' person 1.5 hours away? I'm worried they won't make it in time and we'll have to deal with him ourselves.

Should I have someone in the house who is unhappy with my decision to have a home birth? When I was in labour with Jacob I really could have done it all on my own - it was so primal and I just wanted to hide in a dark room and labour on my own. I don't see my Mother staying away from me as she is VERY hands-on and will want to 'support me' by being there ALL THE TIME. I know even if I make it clear for her to stay away from me, she won't.

What did others do with their kids while in labour?
~ Tasha ~
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February 4th, 2012, 11:54 AM
queenofthecastle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana
Posts: 35,050
My mom is coming over to watch our boys while I'm in labor/having the baby and she is 1.5 hours away. I'm not expecting to have a fast labor though, so even though she's over an hour away, I won't have the baby before she gets there. Do you have a friend or someone that you can watch your son while your MIL or mom is on the way to your house??

=May '05 and '11

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February 4th, 2012, 12:35 PM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 16,275
depending on the time of day your son may sleep through it all. My ILs were at our homebirth, they also lived about an hour and half away, and had it not been the middle of the night, FIL would have taken care of Ross.

If youre worried you could hire a doula to care for your son, a friend of mine did this for her daughter during her homebirth
Mom to 3 boys
07.10 - 10.11 - 03.13

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February 5th, 2012, 01:22 PM
sugarloafbaby's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,101
We are lucky in that we live close to a lot of family, so we were able to just have my aunt and uncle come and pick up our 18 month daughter during labor. Even though she was asleep, I decided to have someone else look after her so i didn't have to worry. She did great even though it was only her second night away from home.

My midwives live an hour away and I have quick labors as well, but you have to do what u are comfortable with- I think as long as you call whoever is going to watch him right away, you should be fine, but you would need to be safe and call in early labor even if it turns out to be a false alarm. My midwives came 2x before real labor hit, but they said they would rather have me call them and them come than wait too long and not have them there. I would have a backup plan in case as well if your chosen sitter is not able to get there fast enough.
Mommy to 2 girls , 6/26/10 & 12/31/11

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February 5th, 2012, 01:25 PM
HippyMomOf4's Avatar Hippy Mom Extraordinaire
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Tulare, CA
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My parents were at my housing visiting when I went into labor, but we had all my children present(my youngest was 17 1/2 months) if you have a friend or something that can just come over and keep your son entertained it makes a huge difference. I wanted all my children present though so they could meet their new sibling right after birth.

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February 8th, 2012, 02:36 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 4,956
Thanks ladies. I feel like I'm overthinking everything to much at the moment so am just going to try and relax a bit and worry about this further down the track, lol!
~ Tasha ~
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February 16th, 2012, 06:41 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26,401
My 2 girls slept through my labor since it was late at night. I had the same problem though, my mom lives over an hour away and she was the only one I felt comfortable with having there. I did have a backup though, a neighbor who I asked to come if I needed her until my mom could make it. Do you have anyone close you that you could ask to come over for an hour if you need them?
Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (6) and Alexis (3)

Expecting baby #4 in April - It's a BOY!

Two Little Monkies on Etsy
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February 19th, 2012, 06:04 PM
booboobunny's Avatar mzdee
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,437
I had the same issue when i had my hb with my son in 2008. I went into labor as soon as my DD went to preschool & delivered before she came home. My midwife said that she often found it that her moms went into labor when there wasn't a lot of distractions (at night, kids at school). My labor made me sort of believe that. But i did have a backup plan because she was so young & i didn't want her to hear me in pain (which was a good thing because i was very vocal during my labor lol). My mom came into town a few days before the birth & MIL was on call. Discuss it with your midwives they maybe able to offer up some solutions. GL

Me - Daynuh

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February 22nd, 2012, 02:46 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
We are planning to have my son present for the birth (barring extenuating circumstances, like he's asleep). However, in case he needs anything or even needs to leave, there will be a trusted friend here just to take care of him.

Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009

BeaMade for unique, adorable, high quality handmade crochet hats and booties, velcro free soother clips and soft sole baby boots.
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February 23rd, 2012, 06:07 PM
Mommy2Amara&Kayori's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Missoula, Mt
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My daughter was 23 months when I had my younger daughter. It was an at home water birth. She was there through the whole thing right by my side. She did great for it, she was very interested in the whole thing. I did have my sister there to keep an eye on her though.

Here is a pic of me, my daughter and my husband during the pushing stage of my labor
Jenny - Wife to James - Mommy to Amara(8), Kayori (6),
and Rinoa (1)
missing our Angels 2001, 2005, and 2010

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March 8th, 2012, 05:45 PM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Midwest, US
Posts: 39
I would much rather have someone who respects my wishes at my home during labor. Is there someone closer that you trust to watch your DS, even if he doesn't really like them, until MIL arrives?
My name is Lena.
Helpmeet to my teacher hubby David since 6/03. Mommy to

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