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Considering...need BTDT advice

Forum: Home Birth


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April 5th, 2007, 09:33 PM
azchela's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny AZ!
Posts: 1,448
Hello ladies -

I am dropping in to see if any of you BTDT homebirthers can help me make up my mind.

I have a wonderful doula who is also a licensed midwife who does home births here in our area as well. I love her very much (I now consider her a good friend - my birth with DS was THE most amazing experience of my life - thanks to her)...

Anyway - DH and I are talking about homebirth because I went 19 hours unmedicated with DS and then a nurse told me I was only dialated to 4....long story short - I ended up agreeing to pitocen and and epi because at 24 hours they wanted a c-section (my water broke before I went into labor and my hospital has a 24 hour rule).

DS was born just two hours later - and my doula and I convinced I was much further dialated than that nurse said. I just know I could have done it without the drugs.

Anyway - home birth appeals to me for so many reasons - the first of which - no mean nurses!!!

BUT - we have a one year old son...and i am very apprehensive to make him stay a night away from me (he has never been away from home without me and DH. I am just not sure he would handle seeing me in labor very well - he will be 16 months when the baby is born.

Any experience with having a toddler (with a family member watching him, of course) at home during your labors?

All advice is appreciated!!

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April 5th, 2007, 10:24 PM
Isaeph's Avatar Jennifer the Momma
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boise!
Posts: 16,196
Are you in Phx? Was it Thunderbird hospital (or another Banner Health hospital)? I HATE that hospital...at least the L&D/recovery section. I had ds there and had pretty much the SAME thing happen except I told them pitocin over my dead body.

We had a very planned and prayed for unassisted hb here in Oregon. Totally BEAUTIFUL! Ds was almost 3, and had only spent 13 hours away from me before that once. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him, and thats one of the reasons we decided on UC (unassisted childbirth). I had a PERFECT labor, 4 hours long. I spent months praying for specific details about the birth including laboring through the night and dd being born moments before ds woke up. She was born at 7:55am, and 5 minutes later dh woke ds up. Just perfect!
"Unborn children should be welcomed in life and protected in law." George W. Bush

Crunchy, conservative, Christian, homeschooling, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, not-vaccinating, cloth-diapering, baby-wearing, ec-ing, unassisted-birthing, breastmilk donating, Momma to 7yo, 4yo, 2yo, 2mo.
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April 6th, 2007, 09:43 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 11,576
We didnt have a toddler - my son was 8 yrs old but i have a couple friends who have had their toddlers present. The most recent friend had her baby a month after I had mine - her daughter was about 18 months old. She did great, and she really didnt get scared at all she said. They talked to her ahead of time, she watched the baby be born, helped with cleanup and did good.

I know 2 MWs locally and this just came up at a recent birth network meeting as well. both of them had attended many many births with children present - toddlers to teenagers. They said they have NEVER seen a kid freak out even in emergency situations. They always have family or friends tending ot the children and children seem to pick up very well on whats going on. And really, unless a child has been raised to see it as a negative or scary event - they dont tend to see it like that. In fact, seeing the baby come into the world usually makes the transition easier - children dont understand that one minute theres no baby and all of a sudden there is one so seeing the birth makes it seem more real to a lot of children


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April 7th, 2007, 07:30 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Somewhere near Detroit, MI
Posts: 8,975
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I have had two homebirths (the last two) and am planning another homebirth with this baby.
My kids were at both, of course there was an adult just to tend to them, but they were in and out when I was in labor and during the delivery...no problems, not even the younger ones. My oldest son is so amazed by birth, its so cool. He is 12 and this time he wants to cut the cord. I love having my kids around during L&D and being able to cuddle up as a family with the new baby and just chill out!
Jenifer....The Queen Bee
Nehemiaah Franklin 11/10/14 4:16am 9lbs 9oz
Welcome to the world lil' man!!
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April 7th, 2007, 05:45 PM
azchela's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny AZ!
Posts: 1,448
Thank you ladies - I appreciate your insights. We are meeting with our doula/midwife here in a couple of weeks to discuss this further...I will keep you posted!

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