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Forum: Home Birth


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October 10th, 2007, 11:00 PM
ragmama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Southern VA
Posts: 40,025
33 weeks must be the magical number for me. I didn't get too much feedback from family until now, and all of a sudden my mom and MIL are both on me about "is it safe?"

Mom informed me that she's already told her boss she'll be leaving the minute I call and tell her I'm in labor, so she can be here to supervise and be sure everything's okay. Says she'd probably not be so anxious if I were in a hospital but, since we'll be "doing this" at home, that she wants "to be sure someone is there who knows how to call 911." Um, yeah, because I'm sure the midwives have never heard of that. And neither has DH. I REALLY think - mad as it might make her after the fact - that I'm not going to have DH call her until it's getting very, very close for Amelia to actually be born. I just don't think I can handle her during labor - and I really don't want an audience anyway.

MIL wasn't as bad, she just doesn't know anything about it... She asked me tonight if I was seeing a doctor for checkups between seeing my midwife, and was truly SHOCKED when I told her that no, the midwife does it all. "And you're okay with that?!" was her reaction. I was nice...I reminded her that we had researched this decision to death, and wouldn't do anything that we didn't consider perfectly safe.

*sigh* Can I just hide somewhere for the next seven weeks or so?

Thanks for letting me rant...it's nice to have a place where everyone understands.
mom to Rachael, 10 ~ Milly, 6 ~ foster mom (waiting on the next call)
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October 11th, 2007, 09:32 AM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Texas
Posts: 17,716
You can hide here! or at least vent here.. I dont know anyone who has tried homebirth that hasnt gotten these comments at least once. Even moms who have had multiple homebirths seem to fight an uphill battle when talking to people about it

"I will make it through this because it is for her and for her, I will do anything. I am not brave, I am not strong, I am just Rhiannon’s mom". Our TTC/Adoption/Pregnancy Blog: Jump Over The Rainbow

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October 11th, 2007, 10:40 AM
Alison79's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 10,232
Vent away! I think I would do the same and not call your Mom until well into labor, it doesn't sound like having her there would lead to a relaxing birth experience!
Alison - Mom to: Emmeline (7/14), Augustus (2) Maximus (4) Eleanor (5) Reid (6) Evelyn (8) Lucas (13) Christopher (14)

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October 11th, 2007, 03:02 PM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 318
Now me, I'd call her when the baby was born! But that's me! I'd be like, "Well, I didn't want to call you if it was just a false alarm, and then by the time we got into things we just weren't thinking about calling over company!" But, like I said, that's me!

I'm getting the comments too, but mine are more just amusing. Like Tuesday night I was volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center and was talking with some of the other volunteers. One of them knew I am planning a home birth and decided to share/announce that with everyone else there. Apparently I'm totally "radical" in this area. I guess so since I had to go an hour and a half to even find a midwife! But anyway, they all dicussed how much $ I was going to save by not going to the hospital. Apparently I'm doing this because I'm poor and can't afford to go to the hospital. I try not to be offended and explain that because of the way NC's system works, I would actually pay $0 if I had a hospital birth whereas I am paying completely out of pocket for this birth. Though of course, it isn't as much as I would pay if I had to pay out of packet for a hospital birth. They didn't get it. Kept going on and on about how cheap it was going to be. <sigh>

Then another silly one made a comment that the midwife could handle me, but of course the baby would have to be seen by a Dr. right away. Because Of course Dr's are gods and have secret ways of telling if a baby is healthy or not. Midwives certainly aren't capable of a assessing a newborn's health. Why is it that we practically worship MD's in this country? What they say is truth apparently, never wrong, correct? I corrected her and told her the midwife would do the initial assessment, come back after a day to check again and that I would take the baby in at 1 or 2 weeks to the Ped. just the same as you would a hospital baby. They all had gaping mouths. I just want to laugh. Or cry. Something!

My mom is coming to visit in about a week and a half. I'm sure I'll be getting a lot of questions from her. She doesn't really support the whole home birth option, though she is very for natural birth. She's one of those "what ifers" So, I'm sure I'm going to hear all the what if's while she is here. If I tell her were're planning to have the baby in the water to boot, I'm sure I'll have to answer a slew of questions. She means well, and right now she's got the attitude of "I know you're a smart girl and wouldn't make a decision without looking at it throughly, so I'm trusting you....." but I can tell she's still not sure about the whole idea.

Anyway, good luck with your moms!

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October 11th, 2007, 04:31 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,600
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With my first homebirth I called my mom when I knew I was in labor, and she tried a last-ditch attempt at getting me to change my mind and go to a hospital. With Hope (stillborn at home last summer) I didn't call until after I delivered her, and I didn't call anyone until after Mary was born also. I don't know if it upset anyone or not, and I honestly don't care.

So, to answer your question, yes you can hide for the next few weeks if you need to! It's your choice and you definitely do not need to deal with anyone's negativity right now!
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 20 Raechel: 18 Daniel: 15 Joseph: 13 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 7 Lucy Marie: 5 John Anthony: 2 AND Baby due Dec. 2015

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w); Francis (7-4-12 @12w); Charlie (1-19-15 @ 6w)

Congratulations Raechel and Kaleb, married May, 2015

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October 12th, 2007, 02:42 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 589
It is your choice to call your mom after the birth or before. We often bring the mamma drama on ourselves.
Mom to girls: S 11, E 9, R 2, Ch born in June 2008

Mom to boys: G 7, C 5, K 4, N 3

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October 13th, 2007, 01:42 AM
dzt66's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 632
Glad my mom isn't the only one! My mom feels the same way, but she at least only talks about it subtly. And she has the common sense to know not to be around for the birth part. She is flying in Monday and if she makes it before the birth, she plans on just taking my girls to my MIL house who lives on our block (I am a private person and only want midwives and DH for the birth - no one else to stress me out). If she doesn't make it and I go in the next two days, that is fine with me. She stresses me out about it and I think I shared before about how she has really made the birth about her. Any talk of it is not like encouragement to me about anything it is all that she will be stressed out and won't be able to handle it and all the what if's.

Huh. Mothers.

Proud mommy to Kourtney Lauren (10/01/03), McKenna Grace (07/11/05), and Blake Matthew (10/21/07)

My Family Blog
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