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So Frustrated

Forum: Home Birth


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October 21st, 2007, 03:23 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
I really need to vent.

The hospital here in town is one of the worst I've ever seen ... maybe not medically, but the service is crap, the nurses are either pushy or passive, and I just generally feel constantly on my guard there. I was hospitalized for a kidney infection at one point; I ended up calling in a doctor I found in the phone book because NONE of the ones they were sending in were any good. One wanted to remove my appendix. He loved coming in and pushing HARD on my stomach, asking millions of times if it hurt. Duh, it finally did. He was ecstatic because "That's the general area of your appendix! I knew it was your appendix and not your kidney! We'll have to schedule surgery right away. I'll let the nurses know to prep you in the morning." He was really pissed when I told him never to come back. I thought he was going to hit me for a minute. The next day I specifically told the nurses to give me something for nausea BEFORE the antibiotics, because they made me feel so sick. Did they? No. They snuck in and added the antibiotics to my IV while I was asleep. They acted like they had no idea why I was upset when they brought breakfast and I was already throwing up in the bathroom. Two of them heard me say it and neither thought to write it down. And to begin with the ER doc treated me like a total idiot when I told him I'd had a UTI the week before and it hadn't gone away. He just could not believe someone would actually KNOW what was wrong with them. Needless to say, they're just not on the ball and I don't trust anyone who works there, so I definitely don't want to give birth there. There is no way another doc like that nutjob is getting his/her hands on me or my baby, or another nurse is ignoring my instructions. (Also, I was in the maternity ward because it's the ONLY ward with private rooms and they put me there so they could charge my insurance more ... the nurses just let people waltz in off the street! What is up with that? There are new moms and BABIES in there, and just anyone can walk in and open the door to your room!?)

That's a really long backstory but here's the actual vent. There is no way on earth I'm going to that hospital. I don't really want to go to any hospital at all; my ideal birth would be a homebirth. I'm a very private person and I can't even imagine going to a birth center with all sorts of people around. That would be really upsetting for me. DF agreed to a homebirth if I can find a midwife I like. Shoot. A midwife I LIKE? I'd be happy to find a midwife, whether I like her or not! There are none to be found! I'm looking at traveling about 2 hours (or 3, if I want to go the other way) just to get to a midwife who'll only deliver at a birth center. I know this is Louisiana and a midwife is an odd request, but NONE within a reasonable distance? Adding to the upset, we could move between now and then ... I'd feel really badly meeting with someone now and taking up space for her, then dropping her later because we moved. The situation where we'd go isn't any better, so the chances of my finding a midwife there are also slim to none ... late in the pregnancy would probably complicate things more because anyone I find might already be full. And being out in the country there too, I'm definitely not going to find someone who'd do a homebirth.

DF keeps asking when I'm going to call someone for an appointment. He asked again this morning, and I said "Honey, WHO am I going to call?". Know what he said? GHOSTBUSTERS. Ugh! I know he was trying to lighten the mood but I wanted to punch him. You know, it might be easier for me to get ahold of Ghostbusters than a midwife!

Oh, yeah. To get to a DECENT hospital would take at least an hour. There's only one in town and none any closer than that! I guess that would be my last resort.

All this crap has me considering UC again. DF is really uncomfortable with that, especially because of the hospital situation, but I feel stuck here. I don't know what to do.
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October 21st, 2007, 10:37 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,397
For what it's worth, if you pay her way - my midwife travels all over the US (and the world) to attend births. It would mean you'd have to get all your prenatal care from someone else, but she could be there for the actual birth. She's semi retired and only does one birth per month, so she fills up fast...but she is a traveling midwife. PM me if you want her email.
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October 22nd, 2007, 01:48 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 11,576
There are several MWs in Tx, MS, and LA that you could probably find to do a homebirth

Go over to the Labor & Childbirth board - the cohost is MissyPrincessEha - shes an apprenticing Midwife - shes either in MS or LA - but shell likely be able to put you in touch with some. Also theres a member here who is a MW in LA - CharmieCM - do a search & youll find her & she can hook you up too


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October 23rd, 2007, 07:03 AM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
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I didn't even think about Chelita. I'll PM her!
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October 23rd, 2007, 12:35 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Texas
Posts: 17,716
Lauren what area of La are you? I know some North Texas midwives who travel
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October 23rd, 2007, 09:19 PM
ragmama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Southern VA
Posts: 40,025
Oh goodness, I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to have your baby in that hospital! We're situated right in between two, and yours sounds an awful lot like one of those. Needless to say, we went the *other* direction to have our first daughter. Wish I'd known more about and been comfortable with the idea of a home birth with her.

Sounds like you've got some good leads here - I really hope it all works out for you! I tend to be a very private person too, but my midwife is wonderful...I don't think I'll be uncomfortable at all with her attending our birth. The hospital experience was horrible, with all the random people in and out...at least with a midwife, it's someone you already know and trust. And hopefully even like.

Best of luck to you - keep us posted on your search!
mom to Rachael, 10 ~ Milly, 6 ~ foster mom (waiting on the next call)
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October 24th, 2007, 08:10 AM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
Thanks for caring, guys.
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