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  #1  
January 15th, 2008, 03:09 PM
Little Mrs Sunshine
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Im a little hesitant to post - dont want to waste anyones time - but this is my last pregnancy and last chance for a home birth - which is important to me. I already started contacting midwives, but my husband (who is usually very supportive) is being very close minded to the idea of a home birth. He agrees if I make it past 36 weeks I can have a home birth, but if I want him to be fully on board, Im going to have to find out EVERYTHING I need to know and then tell him His main concern is safety for the baby, doesn't like the idea of leaving home for the hospital instead of being right there in he hospital already.

First, a brief history of my last 2 pregnancies.
Son - dilating began at 32 weeks. Induced at 36 weeks to dangerously high blood pressure.
Daughter- Dilating began at 28 weeks, Water broke at 35 weeks.

NEITHER of my kids needed a NICU stay. my daughter had to go to the nursery because she wasnt staying warm enough - but I feel that was an unnecessary intervention. Also, I was VERY stressed my first 2 pregnancies and feel that contributed to my premature births. I have a "feeling" I will make it past 36 weeks with this pregnancy. My cervix is already measuring a little short, but I think that is just normal for me.

Onto the questions:

How do I present to my husband that a home birth is as safe (or in my opinion safer) then a hospital birth?
What do I need to know about a water birth? my husband asked how we are going to fit a birthing pool in our house? how much does a birthing pool cost? does it keep the water warm?
how easy (or hard) is it to clean up after the birth?
How do I explain the emotional importance of a home birth to a man?
what are good resources for husband delivering baby or for having an unassisted birth?

thanks for you time, which I hope I am not wasting.
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  #2  
January 15th, 2008, 03:30 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
Well hey Shana!

If I may start at the end of your questions ... unassisted birth. Absolutely read the unassisted birth stories in the subforum here. There are lots of different experiences there. There are websites that can help with your research; I'd especially point you toward Bornfree!. Actually, that's where I'd point you for answers to most of those questions! The articles address topics like safety, supplies, etc.

I'd have DH read this: Emergency Childbirth. It goes over the things that could "go wrong" and how to handle them. It seems that's what most men do worry about!
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  #3  
January 15th, 2008, 03:50 PM
Little Mrs Sunshine
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thanks a ton!!
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  #4  
January 15th, 2008, 04:17 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Louisiana
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I'm sure other people will have specific answers for your questions, since they've BTDT.
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  #5  
January 15th, 2008, 04:20 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ditto!

Also - sometimes taking the man straight to the source - a homebirthing or birthing center MW will ease most concerns. The fact that they have initials behind their name mean a lot to them & they can say EXACTLY What you said, but somehow out of someone else's mouth it is a totally different story.

BTW, I have a friend with a similar birth history - first two chidlren were close together born at 35 & 36 weeks, no need for NICU stay (early dilation the whole 9).

Third baby, saw a MW, made it to not 36, not 37, not even 40, but 42 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had a wonderful natural birth at a birthing center & plans to have her next at home (spaced much farther apart!) Her first two were so early & so close togehter that she has 3 kids under the age of 2 lol.

Lala...
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  #6  
January 15th, 2008, 06:55 PM
Little Mrs Sunshine
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thanks ladies. i find it all so overwhelming. Honestly, Ive read so much tonight im sick of research. I wish I could just do nothing and then just have the baby and it not be so complicated. I am a very simple person. I need a "walk-through" of what to do. I did find a TON of great articles supporting that home births are safer, and usually MORE safe then hospital births. so thats taken care of. I think I just need to find someone to deliver this baby or decide if I want to do it myself and how to do that.
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  #7  
January 16th, 2008, 10:08 AM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, I know it feels like everything has to be rushed (I look at my ticker and think OMG 20 WEEKS ) but the truth is, you do have time. A huge part of your decision has already been made! You know what you really want is a homebirth, right? Some people never even get to the point where they decide on their birth location (and end up just going with the hospital by default).
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  #8  
January 16th, 2008, 01:37 PM
Little Mrs Sunshine
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thanks Lauren. You are right. Im trying not to get overwhelmed, today i feel better.
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  #9  
January 16th, 2008, 09:50 PM
ragmama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Please, don't EVER feel like you're wasting anyone's time by asking questions here! We all love talking about birth and helping others with their questions/concerns, that's why we're here!

A quick stab at answering your questions, before baby wakes up again...

Quote:
How do I present to my husband that a home birth is as safe (or in my opinion safer) then a hospital birth?[/b]
There's a great sticky at the top of the board called "Convincing DH" - check it out! It's even an entertaining read.

Quote:
What do I need to know about a water birth? my husband asked how we are going to fit a birthing pool in our house? how much does a birthing pool cost? does it keep the water warm?[/b]
Hmm, I'm not sure what you'd need to know exactly... Water has been used for ages as a means of pain relief - it's commonly called "the midwife's epidural" and I can personally vouch for the pain relieving effects! Several people I know (IRL) were scared when I told them I'd be birthing in water, asking how the baby would breathe, wouldn't she drown, etc. Well, the baby is moving from water into water, being supported by the placenta the entire time. She didn't breathe until out of the water. Might be something important to know to tell anyone that might freak out on you!
Not sure about how to fit it into your house...they are inflatable, so getting them in is easy. We had to rearrange some furniture to fit it into our living room, but no big deal. It's just kind of a large kiddie pool. Mine cost $36.96 (before shipping) - here's a link to the one I used, and it was perfect. They don't keep the water warm on their own (well, some pricier models do, mine didn't.) DH hooked a (new) garden hose up to the warm water line leading into the washing machine and attached a sprayer to the other end so I could add fresh warm water as needed...and the midwives kept water heating on the stove to add as well. I don't remember using the sprayer at all, but the water never got chilly...they must have handled that for me!

Quote:
how easy (or hard) is it to clean up after the birth?[/b]
SUPER easy if you have a midwife - they do it for you! The ONLY thing I cleaned up on my own was a couple of drops of blood on the bathroom floor from moving from the toilet to the shower. If you choose to do it unassisted, I'd say have a ton of waterproof chux pads and some old towels handy - they'll absorb most of the mess for you. Have a bowl ready to catch the placenta in, of course. According to DH, emptying the birth pool wasn't exactly pleasant but hey, YOU won't have to worry about that!

Quote:
How do I explain the emotional importance of a home birth to a man?[/b]
I wish I could help you on that one - I was fortunate in that DH agreed to the idea right away. But then, he knew that I had already researched it to death and wouldn't make that decision lightly. Remind your DH how much you've researched as well... Seems like most men prefer to make decisions based on logic rather than on emotion, so it may be easier to convince him thoroughly by taking the logical approach. Do tell him that it's important to you emotionally, of course, but I'm not sure a woman could make a man fully understand that!

Quote:
what are good resources for husband delivering baby or for having an unassisted birth?[/b]
Definitely a question for someone else here! I'd say start with reading some of the UAC stories in the subforum here...maybe buy him a copy of the book The Birth Partner, it's a great read for anyone who will be present during a birth.
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  #10  
January 17th, 2008, 06:26 AM
Little Mrs Sunshine
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thanks for sharing your time and knowledge with me! I really feel like I want a water birth the more I think about it thanks for the link to the one you got!
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