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Shower too big? Second shower?

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March 2nd, 2011, 01:15 PM
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5
I apologize if a similar question was answered elsewhere – I didn’t have much luck in my search. Here is my dilemma:

I am 19 weeks pregnant with our first munchkin. My mom has offered to throw me a shower. I can use one of the presentation rooms at my office for free. Typically, my family does not do catered showers. Instead, we usually do a light lunch or appetizer type. All great with me so far. The problem is the guest list. I am already at 75 people and I feel I am leaving some out. I know not everyone will come, but I think about 85% will. It seems to me that opening gifts would take forever and people will get bored (even if we do gift bingo). Also, it will feel like such large event and I would much prefer a more intimate affair. I wouldn’t mind having two showers to break it up some. However, no one else has offered to host (and I don’t think anyone will).

I wouldn’t mind throwing one for friends myself, but there is that nagging etiquette voice saying not to. A few of my friends threw their own showers and I never thought twice about it. So, I’m not sure what my problem is.

My husband’s birthday is 6 weeks before the baby is due. I thought of throwing him a birthday party/co-ed shower. That way a lot of our guy friends whom I’m close to would be able to be there and I wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not to invite his work friends’ wives (they would just come with the guys). If I go this route, how do I word the invitations so that people know that if they want to bring a gift, a gift for the baby would be appreciated? I don’t really care if they bring a gift or not, but I do want to let them know that we would like to celebrate are coming arrival with them.

Help! I’m lost!
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March 2nd, 2011, 01:30 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Auburn, IN
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Hi and thanks for stopping by the board!

A guest list of 75 is pretty hefty for a shower. Personally, I would talk to your mom about breaking it down into 2 showers or taking some people off of the guest list. When I was pregnant with my first, my dad's side threw a shower, my in-law's side threw a shower and my work threw a shower. Having three separate ones was a great way to break them down. But, people volunteered to throw those for me. I can understand your dilemma.

I would go for the option of the co/ed shower! Personally, I would break the birthday party off from it though. Here are some ideas on co-ed showers: Tips for Planning a Jack and Jill Baby Shower - Giftypedia This way it would be you AND your hubby throwing the party, and definitely not a faux pas.

Good luck! I hope you will keep us updated!
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June 10th, 2011, 09:15 PM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 13
Its tough to talk to everyone and open all those gifts! But otherwise I think its fine
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November 10th, 2011, 09:06 AM
Scarlett's Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 24
I just had a shower Sunday and I sent out 53 invites and had 60 people RSVP. It was a huge shower because it was coed with friends and family from both sides. Overall, I think it was great, I'm pretty sure 60 people did come. It was suiting for us because I'm not a big "girlie" baby shower person and it was more of a cook out/hang out in celebration of our little one. =) Opening presents didn't take too long because we were doing two at a time and the guests were entertained with the food/booze we supplied!

My fiance's family is actually throwing me a shower in January as well. It's supposed to be a small intimate one, which will be nice to have as well. I did feel a little overwhelmed trying to talk to everyone at the shower.
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November 14th, 2011, 02:25 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 556
Ugh... so I was reading on a whole bunch of the do's and don'ts of baby showers. First off that's huge and if you're comfortable with it, that's good but it turns out more like wedding when you have 10 seconds to say hi to people and even then you miss people (important people - after all they are all there to celebrate with you). At the same time you don't want to exclude people that would like to celebrate with you.

DH and I are having our first and my Gma (in her 80's) is doing a small shower for my side of the family (15-20 people). My MIL and SILs are planning a giant baby shower (this scares me) for DH's side. My parents' neighbor's are planning a shower (they're more like family than most of my family). Plus the folks at work want to do something small. I guess it really comes down to what you feel comfortable with. People get so excited and want to jump out of their skin to show you how excited they are for you - who are you to tell them they can't come or can't throw you a shower. I guess I'm saying go with it - the flow that is.

I hope this helps at least a little.
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June 12th, 2012, 07:28 AM
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 10
Thanks for the information.
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September 21st, 2013, 11:15 AM
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 58
I think you should do separate shower. By having 75 guest in one party will ruin it. Have a party with your family first then do shower for your office friends. Your idea regarding coed party is good. So, go for it.
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