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Argument over baby shower with DH

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March 7th, 2007, 11:54 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,240
Okay all of a sudden DH thinks he's running the show!!! I told him the other day that my best friend is throwing me a baby shower i was so excited! He goes... "well i hope its at a restaurant and not at her house, thats not very classy... why dont u tell her to throw it at gianottis" first of all i never even been to gianottis, thats like an hour from where we live... 2nd of all.... why would i tell her where to go if she is even throwing me a shower in the 1st place?! i said this has nothing to do with you because you aren't going to be there, he says it has everything to do with him because its his kid. Then he tells me he is going to have HIS sister (who i dont even talk to) throw me one at a restaurant.... He is just getting ridiculous with this. So my question to you girls..... aren't baby showers normally thrown at a home so we can do games?!
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March 7th, 2007, 05:59 PM
mouse_1203's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Virginia
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I think that they can be done anywhere. I've been to ones in homes, restaurants, and rec halls. We played games at all of them. I'm sorry that your DH is causing you stress. I hope it gets better soon!
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March 7th, 2007, 07:55 PM
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i had a shower at a resturant-- in a banquent room-- we didnt play games do to (it was at my work and all my guest just drop the gift off and went and did their job. i also had a shower done at a apartment club house-- we played games but we kept getting interupted due to people using the pool and coming in to "our" space...
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March 7th, 2007, 08:29 PM
lisa1of13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Noblesville, Indiana
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It is not his job to throw you a baby shower so he needs to back off! I personally think it would make you look very ungrateful if you start making demands on his behalf about where it should be. I have had baby showers and I have given them- they are ALOT of work! Having one at someones house is perfectly acceptable I think. I prefer it that way as it is a little more cozy.
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March 13th, 2007, 01:37 PM
*Mrs.T*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sorry hes being so hard to deal with! This is something you two are just going to have to sit down and talk about but it really isnt his place to make all the decisions.

Its not uncommon for a shower to be held somewhere other than a house but I dont think its unclassy to have it at a house! It really depends on how many people you have. If you have a lot of people or if your friend doesnt have that big of a house then it would prob be best to have it somewhere else. Good Luck hun and always feel free to ask questions!
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March 15th, 2007, 02:18 PM
jaylynn's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maryland
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I've only lurked here a few times, but maybe something else is going on w/dh about becoming a dad. When I was pg w/my dd I remember my dh was really insistent about the nursery. He really wanted to pick the design. I came to realize it was because he felt a little left out of a lot of other things (he only made it to a few appts, etc).
Maybe your dh is feeling the same way. I think a house is a great place, maybe he could find another way to be involved in something (nursery, picking out the coming home outfit, paint colors, making something for the baby) or maybe you guys could have a dinner party at a restauraunt with other couples so he could be involved and then you could have the baby shower w/your friends. We had 2 w/our first. My mom threw me a big one with friends and family and then another set of friends that were all couples threw one that was more of a dinner/get together, not so much a "baby shower"
Good luck and I hope its fun whatever you decide to do.
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March 29th, 2007, 05:12 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Louisiana
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lol u need to tell ur husband that baby showers are for girls and there's NO MEN allowed. i know things are different nowdays, with wedding showers for the groom and the bride and all that....but i think baby showers should be for moms and the dads can go do something else until it's over! they'll just end up eating all the snacks lol! i'm making sure whoever throws my shower doesn't make it male friendly HAHA~
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April 2nd, 2007, 11:50 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,085
I am having this shower at my house. I think that it is the perfect idea because

1. All the gifts will only have to go upstairs, not loaded into a car.
2. I will be comfortable in my own home.
3. I can "judge" when i am ready for guests to leave.

that may sound rude, but it is about the mommy and baby...nobody else. it is of course DH child too, but he really would have a miserable time at a shower with all ladies.

Best of luck to you!
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June 17th, 2007, 08:52 PM
MegC's Avatar Super Mommy
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It has been my experience (and anyone can feel free to correct me on this), but having baby showers at a restaurant is a very "northern" thing to me. I live in Tennessee and every shower (bridal or baby) I've ever been to has been at someone's house. I threw a baby shower for my best friend when she was pregnant and we had it at her house. It was great because she didn't have to worry about hauling huge boxes home and up a flight of stairs--it was already there and after the shower my mom and I stayed and helped her put her high chair, swing, bouncer, and pack n' play together. However, every shower I've been to for DH's family (bridal or baby) has either been at a restaurant or a hotel banquet room (this is very new and weird to me) and they are all from Wisconsin or Michigan. They still play games and stuff--it's never been a problem as far as I'm aware.

Just an observation.

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June 28th, 2007, 04:55 PM
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Thibodaux, Louisiana
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Well, that is not a good position to be in. There are a couple of things I can think of.
1. Just don't mention or say anything about it just like if someone would throw you a surprise baby shower. You wouldn't know who, when, where, or anything. Mother's are stressed enough as it is!
2. The person throwing the shower or yourself could speak to the other person (his sister was it?) and say that the shower is already being planned by someone.
3. Let them each throw a shower. (his sister would invite HIS family and the other shower would be for your friends and family)
If he is not into being at showers and doing things like that, I would make him go and be a part of everything since he insist on it! (but not saying it directly...."Well, my friend already started making plans and it is too late for her to change them, but I think it is so sweet of you to want to get together with your sister and throw me a shower!" "I would love for you to be involved and be there at the shower, and we can open gifts together!" "And it would be so assume to have two different showers!"

Just some thoughts!
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July 18th, 2007, 03:25 PM
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Jax Jax is offline
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He is being completely rude to your best friend (whether she'll ever hear his suggestions or not), and it sounds like he's acting really controlling. MEN DON'T COME TO BABY SHOWERS, and it's not even REMOTELY up to even YOU how to delegate this, because it's rude to throw your own baby shower. lol. He needs to come to his senses.. this is not his choice, and he has no say whatsoever.

And throwing it in a far away restaurant with gas prices as such, and then making the guests pay for their own food???? IF someone invited me to a "party" like that, I would be mildly annoyed and send a "sorry I missed it" card while trying not to roll my eyes. That's ridiculous.

If anyone is lacking class, he is. He obviously wasn't raised with any sense of etiquette when it comes to baby showers, which is understandable as he's a man.. but kindly remind him of this!

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July 21st, 2007, 12:52 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,021
Well it depends on who is throwing it and the budget...My 1st shower I was having twins, and my mom invited like 60 ppl, so she decided to throw it in a small quaint hall, very informal. and it saves on cleaning and making food. But alot of showers are thrown in homes, it is up to the person throwing it.

Your DH really should be so mean about it, because it really isn't about him is right. Stick to your guns on how you feel.

We had a argument ourselves throuhout our family, My father and DH wanted to throw me a small shower for this baby, BOTH mothers said NO WAY it's tacky since I had one 4 years ago with my twins. BUT problem is, our twins took us 6 years and tons of fertility treatemts to have, DH and I could never concieve on our own, so naturally not planning on more, I sold and donated EVERYTHING and I mean everything, Had Weight loss surgery, lost 102 lbs and SUPRISE 6 months later I got pregnant on my own, completle suprise! OMG we had nothing. So finally my Mom agreed to have a nice small shower at her house for friends and family. we invited many, but they are not obligated to give if they felt they already gave enough, but we just really wanted to celebrate this miracle that happen on it's own...I registered again, but DH and I bought alot of the real big items, and most of the nursery decor and stuff.

My mom seemed to lighten up when she heard her best friend since school threw her daughter 2, my dad said to my mom, hun it's not like when we had babies and more than one shower was crazy!

I really hope your DH eases up and lets this be a joyus even for YOU!
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