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Do you think it's appropriate to call and check in?

Forum: Married Life


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  • 1 Post By Jessimaaka
  • 2 Post By Blue-Jay
  • 1 Post By #5in2005

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October 25th, 2012, 10:33 AM
sfarrow3's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,639
What are your thoughts? If your DH has cell reception or can shoot an email, do you think it's appropriate for s/he to check in, even once, while they are away? Do you think that's an obligation that people in committed relationships have to one another?

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October 25th, 2012, 10:57 AM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 16,567
Away like out for the night? In that case, we usually talk before he goes out and if he's going to be later than planned, or plans change like where he'll be, he'll shoot me a text. Otherwise I wouldn't expect him to 'check in'. Its more a courtesy.

Away for a few days...definitely once a day just to say hi!
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October 25th, 2012, 11:24 AM
Blue-Jay's Avatar Jenny
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,229
During normal work days, we usually text each other a sweet message at lunchtime -- it's not checking in, though, and if somebody misses, nobody gets upset.

During weekends when DH is working in his offsite garage all day, I don't expect anything and he never looks at his phone.

If he's gone for a long period of time, I expect him to call before bed to find out how I am and tell me he loves me.

I don't think it's reasonable to expect him to check in when we are apart; I think what we owe to each other in a committed relationship is trust and respect for each other's personal space.
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October 25th, 2012, 02:05 PM
TerriLF's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 566
We are constantly texting, but not because we feel like we have too. If he is out with guy friends for the evening he usually tells me when he thinks he will be home and then will text if he is going to be late. When he is away for a few days he will call and check on me and the kids once a day and then call at night before he thinks I'm going to bed to say goodnight. Again, it isn't because I insist on it, just more because we miss eachother and out of respect.
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October 25th, 2012, 04:09 PM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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I think its a thing that should be done out of respect for your spouse/SO. Not necessarily an absolute that should happen but I think if you and your spouse/SO have that respect then you should want/make that call or email.

Now, if you are talking a daily while at work thing than I think thats a bit much. However, if you are talking "away" as in on a business trip or trip with the boys or whatnot than ya...definately something that should be done out of respect.

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October 26th, 2012, 11:01 AM
Platinum Supermommy
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I think it's reasonable. Maybe not out of obligation, but I would hope that he would want to.
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October 26th, 2012, 12:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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If either of us is away for an extended trip for some reason, we do try to talk at least once each day. But it's never been an obligation to either of us.

We also chat by messenger most days during work hours...again, none of it is a matter of checking in though.

If either of us is out for the day without access to technology, then no, neither of us feels obligated to check in while we're apart. I think if you HAVE to check in with your partner every hour or so, then you have issues inyour relationship that you should seek counselling for.
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October 26th, 2012, 08:55 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
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we check in at least once daily whether he's at work or away-he wants to know how the kids are and I want to talk to him. Sometimes its more, but it doesn't have to be

Lucky mother to five!

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October 30th, 2012, 04:18 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Melbourne, Aust.
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For me, yes. I need him to check in or I will worry like crazy.

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October 30th, 2012, 08:44 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
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We chat throughout the work day, schedules depending. If he's traveling or something, it's certainly not a rule that he has to 'check in' with me but a quick, 'Hey, I've arrived safe and sound! Going to my hotel room/going to grab some dinner/whatever!' is always appreciated since I'm kind of a worrier. He's really good about keeping me posted. If something comes up and he doesn't get in touch longer than expected, I might send him a text or IM but it's not a big deal and I trust that he'll get back to me soon (and he does).

*Excitedly expecting baby girl number two!*

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