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Husband is Controlling and I don't know what to do about it..

Forum: Married Life


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  • 1 Post By texascowboysgirl

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October 27th, 2012, 04:06 PM
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1
Hello all!
I was a member here a few years back but have since forgotten my user/password. Never really hung out on the married life board, mostly the due date clubs, playrooms etc..

So, my husband and I have been married 10 years this past August. Had a two year separation and earlier this year decided to give it another try. Everything with the kids is great, but...

He has become very controlling. I have two part times jobs that he gives me hell about when I go (even though we DO need the money). I work at a place where the managers live on site and hes recently decided that my bosses 19 year old son is a threat and "something doesn't feel right to him about him being here." What?!

He finds something wrong with any friend I talk to. Without him saying it, I know he believes were talking about him badly or something. Its like he feels threatened if I have a friend? I try to include him in conversation, but really hes just kind of rude to them.

He Is constantly complaining that my family "hates him and doesn't feel comfortable around them." So of course that means we don't visit them often. When I go alone, he complains about how long I am gone.

Anytime I go to work or even grocery shopping and he has to watch the kids, its always because "I would rather be somewhere else than home with him..."

The worst is work. I get 4 kids up and to school EVERY DAY. OCCASIONALLY, and I do mean very rarely, I have to go to work early. If I ask him to take them, he complains all day. It is to the point I don't even want to ask him. Cause he throws such a fit.

But like I said, everything else is great. I do love him and want this to work this time. We have 5 beautiful children together and besides his possessiveness he is awesome. Helpful, sweet, a good dad, and a very hardworker. Actually does most of the housework too lol

I mean, what I would GIVE to maybe have a night out with a couple girlfriends! Its been FOREVER since I had that!

I mean, am I over reacting? Is he just insecure that I may leave him (since we were separated for 2 years) or find another reason for us not to be together?

Thanks for reading this. Just needed to vent a little!
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October 28th, 2012, 10:47 AM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California
Posts: 5,500
Sorry you are going through this. Would he consider counseling? Do you think he feels threatened by the fact that you need to work two jobs? I know for many men, the idea that they cannot support their families causes serious insecurities.

Last edited by *Jennifer*; October 28th, 2012 at 10:50 AM.
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November 5th, 2012, 08:06 AM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 24
Yes. You two need counseling. If a handle does not get on it the problems will only get worse and his controlling behavior will only get worse. I hope you two get help with this problem. It is possible he has insecurities because of your separation and such. You two are in my prayers.
Buggymom likes this.
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November 5th, 2012, 10:34 AM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
individual and couples couselling might benefit you guys. He needs to work on why he needs to control everything around him, otherwise things will remain the same

Lucky mother to five!

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November 5th, 2012, 03:43 PM
Buggymom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,117
Hello! Sorry you're having a tough time....you can vent anytime you need to. Prayers for you guys.
Trisha--proud stay at home mommy and wife.

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