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Finding it hard to stay with dh : (

Forum: Married Life


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January 26th, 2013, 05:11 AM
marlz_04's Avatar Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 40
Well.. Me and dh have been together 8 1/2 years.. We have 4 beautiful kids..
He has cheated on me twice that i know of.. we have broke up for a 6 weeks and got back together..
Then last year I found out he messaged a prositute.. he never met her because he got a gastro bug that night.. but i know if he never got it something would of happened. why else ring one right?
So i called it quits.. and he carried on saying he loves me.. im the only one he wants.. if he new how strongly i felt he wouldnt of called (dumb a s s) and all night told me how much he loved me and cuddled me.. I was at a point i couldnt cry.. I just wanted us both to be happy and part ways. I honestly think he has a sexual addiction.. but he kept telling me he loved me and want to be with me and for weeks he was more romantic.. more loving.. then it slowly started going down the drain again..

To me I feel like me and our kids come last.. our life revolves around him.. if he doesnt like something we dont do it.. but if he wants to do it, we do it.. I'm constantly trying to work on our relationship.. tyring to make him happy.. I put hours into making sure hes got nice lunch or dinner at work.. clothes ironed... if he wants something I try my hardest so he can get it.. I always show him love.. make him feel wanted... but when it comes to me... he doesnt give a f ck.. I'm lucky to get a second thought.. I see him when hes finished work and after his finished talking with mate..

Lately hes being telling small lies and its starting to break me that I can never trust him.. not even for the truth with little things at time.. I feel im wasting my life with someone who doesnt love me as much as I love them..

He says he loves me.. kisses me before work.. but apart from that he never shows it in other ways.. a cuddle on the couch here and there..

I honeslty feel like a bit of crap.. i feel all i am is some1 to jerk him off, cook clean look and look after the kids.. he makes me so depressed though.. I dont want to even clean after him..

What do i do? I keep trying, working hard on our relationship but I feel im always the one unhappy..
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January 29th, 2013, 01:20 PM
i:heart:you's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Scranton, PA
Posts: 17,033
I'm sorry hun, it sounds like you guys need to have a good talk and tell him how you feel. Let him know you are on to the lies and he needs to stop them. Have you tried marriage counseling?
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January 30th, 2013, 11:21 AM
Blue-Jay's Avatar Jenny
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,229
I think marriage counseling would really help.

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January 30th, 2013, 12:40 PM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In the West
Posts: 11,190
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Honestly, you need to remember your happiness is important too. Marriage is give and take but its also about being happy and showing your kids how that works.

He's broken your trust way too many times, he's got a LOT to do to make it up to you(IMHO) and until you put your foot down and show him your resolve on this matter he will keep doing what he's doing.

Try counseling and hopefully they help him see the error of his ways and give you some umph in getting back your happiness and trust in him.

And if it were me...fool me once, shame on you but fool me twice its shame on me. Id be doing counseling and a seperation. My kids and I deserve more and we'd work towards that even if its seperate at first.

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January 30th, 2013, 01:52 PM
Buggymom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,117
Marriage counseling would probably help if you could talk him into doing it with you.
Trisha--proud stay at home mommy and wife.

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January 30th, 2013, 07:28 PM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 16,567
I agree with the others, counseling sounds like it could help.
DS1: C 8/12/2012
DS2: L 3/30/2014
Surprise baby! due 3/27/2017

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