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Holidays and family gatherings

Forum: Moms of Infants


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April 10th, 2019, 06:46 PM
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 1
Hi all,

I'm new but I desperately need your input.

My ds is 10, almost 11 months old and my husband has a large family that absolutely *insist* on getting everyone together for all the important holidays. Of course, being the newest parents in the family, it is expected we bring our DS to all these events. I have begrudgingly complied, but at the expense of my DS's much needed sleep/nap schedule, and while also allowing the family members to pass him around from one to the next. Their children handle him with grubby fingers and there is always a lot of noise and hardly any time to rest, so he gets overwhelmed. Fast. There is never anywhere for him to get some peace or take a much needed nap. By the time we get home, he has missed one, probably two sleep windows and he is a wreck for the next 24-72 hours.

My husband thinks we absolutely should bring our DS to these family events, and does not seem to understand my apprehension. Or maybe he does, but he thinks I should sacrifice my instincts and our son's well-being for one day just so his family can pass him around and ooh and aww at him and let their kids cough and sneeze and yell on him. I'm especially apprehensive about holiday events because people who have been sick are less inclined to stay home to prevent the spread of infection, solely because it's a "family holiday."

I want to put my foot down and tell his family, "tough ****, I know what is best for my very reserved and quiet child" but setting these boundaries seems to conjure up images of an overly protective mother who keeps her child away from these ridiculous family rituals.

So... What do you think?

As his mother, I feel I have absolutely every right to feel defensive of my son's well-being and set boundaries. But it seems I am alone in that stance, and if I *do* put my foot down
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family activities, holidays, parties, sleep issues

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