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  • 1 Post By ::er!ca::

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June 11th, 2012, 12:33 PM
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2
Hi all...new here & so glad to have found my way

So this is kinda long but its really bugging me.
My daughter who is 6 has a friend who lives a few houses down.
The kids played a lot together & then it kinda stopped.
I called the mom on the phone & asked if there was something wrong.
She then began to tell me that she & her husband had been talking & felt like my child was being disrespectful to them.
I was surprised to hear of this since she had made no mention of it before & I have never been told this from any other parent, however, I was very open to hearing what my child was doing as kids are kids & mine isn't perfect.
When I asked her to give me examples of this, she had said :
1) that a few months prior when my daughter spent the night there, my daughter complained about how her bed was more comfy then the bed she was sleeping on.
2) My daughter went to their house at Christmas time & said that our tree was bigger than theirs.
3) When my daughter went to their house & asked if they could play & she told my daughter no, that my daughter glared at her & asked her why.

THESE were the examples why that I was given....

My thoughts....
1) doesnt everyone think that their own bed is more comfy?
2) We had a 12 foot tree!!! I doubt it was done out of hate, & I certainly dont think my child did it to hurt their feelings.
3) Is asking why such a bad thing?
I told the mom I was really sorry & even had my child call the mom to say she was sorry.

My child really likes this little girl, & since then they have played just a few times, but more times than not when we invite the girl to play the mom says the kids busy, it seems the only time the girl has come over is when her dads not around.
The kids have a terrific time here at our house...they never fight, it is laughter & good times.
I think it is the parents who just dont like our kid & I feel like there is nothing we can do tat will change their opinion.

At this point I have given up. I really dont want to call the mom again to ask why they cant play. I think I got the answer the first time around. She hasn't made any mention of any thing my daughter is doing wrong again, but I did ask her to tell me if any thing else happened right away.
My daughter is so sad.
Every time she asks if this little girl can play ...I am making excuses of why they cant by telling her the other kid is just busy.

How do you explain to a six year old that someones parents dont like her.
She's too young & I dont think would understand, nor should she have to deal with that at her age.

Again , she's not perfect, but I don't think these qualify her to be a disrespectful kid.
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June 11th, 2012, 01:18 PM
Momof4Boyz's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 8,355
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First off, that sounds like pretty typical stuff for a 6 yr old to say!! My son would totally point out all the same the things - his bed is softer, our tree is bigger, we have this and our whatever is that. Just how kids that age are, they mean no offense they just say what they notice! I think the other child's parents are over reacting a bit.

I think if it were my child I'd just be vague, tell her she can't go play because the other family is busy or has something else going on or what not and when she asks, "why" a 100 times (I know mine would lol) just say you don't know because you don't live there but she just can't play and that's all you know.

Hope you get it worked out! Oh and welcome to our board!! =)

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June 11th, 2012, 01:53 PM
::er!ca::'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 36,283
I would just tell your DD that the other family is busy. I think you should start doing play dates with other children and maybe she'll move on from that friendship. If the parents are going to be that picky about what a 6 year old says or does, I don't think it is the best fit for your daughter to be over there playing. I don't think your DD's intentions were rude. She was very much acting her age. Lots of little kids think what they have is bigger, better, cuter, etc. She's a kid. These parents sound like they have sticks up their butts.
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June 11th, 2012, 02:38 PM
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2
I was hoping to get this response, but ya never know
She has lots of other friends, & we have lots of them over all the time.
It just so happens she's fond of this girl & she lives a few doors down, so my daughter can see their house from ours, see's their car so she knows when they are home & I think when she does it gives her that jolt of seeing her friend.

I agree that it is normal to talk about what they have...mines bigger, I like mine better, I have this & that & that. They dont mean it with any bad intention, but after this happened we did talk to her about how it could hurt someones feelings. ( that perhaps they couldnt get a bigger tree or that they couldnt afford a bigger tv)
I dont think that she still really gets it...but at least we have started this lesson with her.
I am just sad that the parents are the ones judging & the kids have nothing to do with it so in the end, they are the ones who get hurt.
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June 11th, 2012, 02:49 PM
LovinMyGirls's Avatar Proud Working Momma
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: PA
Posts: 15,490
I agree with those above..this is typical 6 year old behavior. I doubt their child is perfect. I agree with Erica, find some other children your child can have play dates with this will help her get her mind off this other child as well and give her more friends.

No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside." AA&NJ
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