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Urinary incontinence in 5 year old daughter

Forum: Moms of Gradeschoolers


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  • 1 Post By lovelyenchanted

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June 20th, 2012, 06:58 AM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1
We transitioned our daughter into pullups at 2.5 because she started removing her diaper. She is now 5 and still has UI multiple times a day as well during the evening. If I put a pull up on her during the day she thinks it's okay and voids in the pull up. She will simply throw it away and get a new one or if she voids in her underwear she removes them and gets a new one. We go through at least 25 underwear a week (I say underwear because it doesn't always seep through to her clothes). It's so frustrating and I have unfortunately gotten mad at her a few times over it. She also fights going to the bathroom, like it's a chore. She will cry and cry and I'm stuck on what to do. I don't know if she is being difficult or if there is a more serious issue at stake. I realize the evening is still considered normal and we wake her once during the night to ease the bed wetting, although she will lay completely soaked all night, she has no idea. It's the daytime I'm more concerned about, especially since she starts school in the fall. We took her for her 5 year checkup and the doctor suggested timing her to go every hour for a few days and slowly stretch it out. That didn't work, sometimes and hour would be okay but then later an hour would be too long and too late. I bought her a timer hoping that she would think it would be fun to set it etc. I explained that if she felt she had to go, she needs to go even if the time doesn't go off. The first hour worked and then she wet herself. When I noticed and told her to go to the bathroom she threw a fit and got mad that I made her go because the timer didn't go off yet. She is also ALWAYS rushing to bathroom. It's always I have to go now, or running etc. I wonder sometimes if she even feels it coming on. I would appreciate any advice. The doctor may recommend a uriologist next but I'm sure it will be a few weeks to get the appointment and I would really like to help her at home if I can.
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June 23rd, 2012, 12:43 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Andrews AFB, MD
Posts: 15,496
If she is refusing to go when you ask her to then I would say at least part of it is behavior. You are her mother, you have told her what she needs to do, end of discussion. I would go ahead and tell her that the other kids at school do not do this and will not want to play with someone who does. Yeah, that's mean, but that is also reality. Has she been around a lot of other kids her age? Maybe a little positive peer pressure/modeling will get her moving in the right direction.
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June 24th, 2012, 09:44 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,925
IMO, I would only have pull ups at night and underwear for the rest of the day .

Let her pick out her underwear.

Find out reason why she's doing this.

Do you have her use the toilet you guys use ? Is it the way you use it ? Maybe she might suddenly getting a fear of falling in the toilet.

If that's the case get a kid seat to put over the toilet that will stop the feeling of falling in toilet.

I would suggest like getting a princess watch set the alarm on watch for bathroom say she has to use the restroom as soon as the alarm go off.

She may be exerting her independence as in trying have control over her bathroom issues because other way is confusing her because it's getting mixed up.

If use the timer for time out stuff that may mix her up with what the timer actually is for.

So I would suggest a watch for her to wear with alarm.

Say Go use the toilet when you hear this sound.

If she didn't head there yet go by her room say Toilet Time 1 minute after alarm went off.

Say Toilet Time a second time a minute after first Toilet Time

Tell her beforehand Third Toilet time Mommy taking you.

Keep it as of what you tell her as if you tell her toilet time when alarm goes off it's Toilet Time.

Don't take her beforehand or take her during the 2nd toilet time announcement.

Most of the time if kids know with a warning time with parents coming to take them to do this they will be running there when they hear Third Toilet Time Mommy/Daddy Coming.

This can work the same way for brush teeth just switch around toilet time with Brush Teeth.

Those methods worked great for Brendan when he got a bit forgetful on toilet time and same for brushing teeth is that he just was too lazy to get up from tv to brush teeth but he for sure didn't want Mommy to brush his teeth.

Otherwise, if those suggestions don't work maybe she is having some UTI issue

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July 1st, 2012, 09:26 PM
lovelyenchanted's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 781
How are her bowels? I ask because we had a very similar issue. My DD would hold her bowels. This would cause secondary UTIs. We've been seeing a urologist for about 3 years now (she is now 6). I would at least call and get in for a consult. They will likely want to do testing to rule out other issues such as bladder problems and urinary reflux but at the very least you'll be able to rule those things out. My DD went to kindergarten with extra clothes on hand. It was very frustrating but we were glad to know the problem. We were in pull ups for a very long time too so I understand the frustration. If you ever want to chat about this further feel free to PM me.
clouise likes this.

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July 3rd, 2012, 11:40 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 7,429
Have you tried positive reinforcement? Such as if she goes to the bathroom and doesn't wet herself in a timely manner, she will get a marble in the jar, 5 marbles equals going to get an ice cream cone at McDonald's or something (whatever she happens to like that is small but a big deal to her). That way she is earning something for going and then slowly stretch that out, 3 marbles, 5 marbles, 10, etc.

I also agree I'd leave the pull ups for nighttime only. Also, you may want to look into a bedwetting alarm later on for night time. It was a GOD SEND for us for my son as he was 7 and still wetting the bed at night. it had him trained in 2 weeks and he hasn't had a night time accident ever again. It's made by Malem and ran $99 on Amazon.com, but it was the best $99 I ever spent LoL. But one thing at a time, with daytime, I'd ditch the pull ups and try positive reinforcement. Also, make sure you are trying any recommendation for a few weeks before giving up on it.

Good luck!
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