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Regression of my 8 year old daughter

Forum: Moms of Gradeschoolers


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  • 1 Post By SpazTaz
  • 2 Post By LovinMyGirls
  • 1 Post By paigestephymom

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January 1st, 2013, 11:48 PM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 37
Hello!!My 8 year old daughter Paige has been regressing on her potty training for the past couple weeks, I'm at wits end with her. But let me start at the beginning, in October 21st,I gave birth to my seventh daughter Stephanie and my 8 year old daughter Paige seemed excited about having little sister. But since early December, she has been acting jealously towards her little sister and being saying that she wants to be treated like her. This month,she has been refusing to go potty and saying that she will only go with an adult to help her. I try to take her but if there is not an adult,she will go in her pants just like any toddler.I have asked her why she does it and her response is, "Well you don't mind when Stephanie goes in her pants."I know she is doing it for attention and I have gotten to the point that I have made her clean her messy or wet panties with my supervision.I taken away big girl privileges but nothing seemed to work. I have told her older sisters who are 13,17 and 23 to promise her to do big girl things if she goes potty like big girl she is but nothing seems to work. It has affected my 2 year old identical twin daughters who I'm trying to potty train, they see Paige not wanting to go potty and they don't want potty train. I homeschool her but I rather focus on her school work when I start her schooling on January 20th than having her go through potty training with her. Any suggestions would be appreciated, I'm truly frustrated.

Last edited by paigestephymom; January 2nd, 2013 at 04:35 PM.
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January 2nd, 2013, 03:57 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 7,429
Just be consistent. She absoultey should have to clean up her mess, but I don't think you need to supervise her doing that, she's 8, that's plenty old enough to clean herself up by herself. I say keep doign what you are doing, and don't give extra attention for her going in her pants, and be consistent about everything regardless of where you are or what you're doing. Also, maybe letting her help with the baby and being more involved would help? Or doing a mom/daughter day just the 2 of you, but if she messes her pants it ends and you both go home.

If it continues, I'd recommend seeking the advice of a counselor/therapist.
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January 2nd, 2013, 05:02 PM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 37
Thank you for your support!It's been frustrating with her so far. Today,I let her play for little bit in her dayroom and when I checked on her like an hour later,she was soaking wet.I asked her why she didn't go?She is like Well Stephanie can do it,why can't I?I made her change herself and clean herself and wash her panties. She seems to do it for attention then before dinner, Paige was sitting and I saw her just fidgeting.I decided to take her potty when we got there,she was messy.I took it off her and clean her up and clean her panties.I'm so frustrated,I told her that she needed to earn back her big girl panties then I put on pull ups on her.Tomorrow,I'm going have her more involve with her little sister and see if that helps. It's so frustrating.
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January 2nd, 2013, 06:17 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
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I'd recommend not taking her to the bathroom or doing anything to clean her up. At 8, again, she is more than able to do that on her own. If she finds she isn't getting the attention for it, then she may stop. If she were in public school, it'd probably be easier and I'd say that peer pressure would take care of it, but since you homeschool, that won't happen.

I would not give her diapers or pull ups as she won't feel anything wet in those.
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January 2nd, 2013, 07:09 PM
LovinMyGirls's Avatar Proud Working Momma
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: PA
Posts: 15,490
I agree..make her clean up herself & not give her the attention when she wets herself etc. If you notice she's wet..say..go clean yourself. Then send her on her way. She's getting "mommy time" from you so she's continuing this behavior. She wants attention, anyway she can get it-this is negative attention..but she doesn't mind.

I try setting aside some special time for her and you alone. She feels left out due to the baby but this is not acceptable behavior for an 8 year old to get attention.
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January 2nd, 2013, 07:16 PM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 37

That's what I'm doing tomorrow,my 23 year old daughter agreed to stay home with my lil one and I'm going take Paige on big girl day.We going to get mani/pedi then go shopping at the mall.Hopefully this lets her know that I love her and I'm here for her. And I'm going start setting aside time for me and her every day.
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June 22nd, 2013, 07:57 AM
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 138
Just curious if things have gotten better since you've tried a few new techniques?
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September 2nd, 2013, 11:24 AM
Jodi Dawn's Avatar Host of the Jan-July 05 P
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how did things go? hoping they have gotten better for you
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