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I'm new & need advice badly! 9 year old driving me insane!

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February 12th, 2013, 12:07 PM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Vancouver BC, Canada
Posts: 5
Hi, my name is Lisa*I've just had my third child, baby girl born on Dec. 27th. I have a 9 year old boy &13 year old girl. The past week or 2, I've noticed my boy getting a very bad attitude. He's constantly harassing his older sister, they fight way worse note then when they were small. I'm only 28 & I swear I'm gonna start popping out grey hairs pretty **** soon!

Nothing I say or do helps, they don't care if the baby is asleep, even if I'm in my room feeding her they run to me like I'm "home free" and wake the baby up all the time.*Besides the fighting, my 9 year old boy is constantly talking back, starting to swear, whining all the time, refusing to do chores, expecting me to buy him everything, crying about things I don't have the power to change... I've noticed he's complaining of tummy aches sometimes (for attention) and other minor things like my arm is sore, my finger hurts. Throwing food, hitting... I can go on for hours.*

His teacher said he's a really good kid at school so everything is good there, just our home life is getting out of control. Before we had the new baby, he didn't like babies or small kids one bit, he never wanted anything to do with them but that's not the case with our baby. He loves her soooooooo much, lays with her & holds her all the time. Another daily fight between him & his older sister is who gets to hold the baby.

I'm guessing this is the beginning of "middle child syndrome". I googled it & I'm pretty sure that's what is starting, I don't know what to do. My husband is really starting to lose his patience. From what I've read the most important thing is to show lots of attention & love which I do. I read to him & lay with him every night, his dad makes video game time, we go watch him play hockey, I hug & kiss him at least 3 times a day, I compliment him daily, I thank him for all his help with the new baby & always tell him he's such a good big brother.*My newborn is only 6 weeks old, I know this is a huge adjustment for him.

I seriously don't know what else to do, I feel like I'm doing everything I can! Is it because he's a Leo? Lol! I'm stumped... He's acting out badly, very spoiled, very rotten... I need alllllll the advice I can get right now!
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February 12th, 2013, 06:46 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 7,429
Well, you stated all the affection you give, but are there any consequences for his poor behavior?

Also, maybe treating him a little older, I don't know, my son just turned 11, but we were done with laying and reading to him and doing what he called "the baby thing" when he was like 6 or 7. Maybe try giving him more responsibilities so he feels as though he's important? Carve out some time each week that it's just you and him? Maybe go do something age appropriate such as bowling, or mini golf, a matinee movie after school, or whatever it is that he likes to do.
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February 13th, 2013, 05:41 PM
kmath's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,375
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No matter how much he loves his new baby sister, he is now realizing he isn't the baby anymore. That is probably tough on him. Make sure there are appropriate consequences for his bad behavior. Try to get some one on one time with him outside of the house (if that is at all possible). Be consistent and continue to reassure him that you love him. Good luck!
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February 14th, 2013, 06:09 AM
Momof4Boyz's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Florida
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This has happened with each of my children, it just takes time to adjust and get into the flow of a new baby and like the PP said - it's hard for the youngest especially when there is a big gap to adjust to not being your baby anymore. Be sure you make plenty of time for him and explain that even though there is a lot going on he can't act out because that just makes things harder for everyone and I'm sure in time things will get back to normal!

Oh and I'm only 27 and have more grey hair than I care to discuss

Last edited by Momof4Boyz; February 14th, 2013 at 06:11 AM.
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9 year old, acting out, middle child, new baby

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