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February 23rd, 2005, 04:29 AM
fka teresarunningmommy
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 47,594
I know this is probably not the right board for this, but I just don't know what to do. I have got a 12 year old that can barely read and write. I am serious. He reads on a 2nd grade level and writes on a 1st. I have done homeschooling, I've done public school, I've done private school. I am at my witts end. He doesn't care. He doesn't care about his grades. He doesn't care whether he ever reads. I know he has a learning disability, but his not caring is the biggest problem. Like I posted before when I grounded him he made a 100% on his spelling test up from a 20% average before. I know he can do a lot more then he lets on and he constantly pulls off the I'm too stupid routine therefore I am not doing it on his teachers. I just don't know what to do. How is he going to get a job and move out one day if he can't read and write? Any ideas on getting him to do his work and care a little?


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February 23rd, 2005, 06:33 AM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: at my desk
Posts: 27,881
Ok obviously I havent reached that age yet but something to possilbly try....

Maybe a family weekly trip to the library. That way its not a required thing like school but a fun thing to do with his parents and brothers/sisters. Then he can also get whatever he wants. At least it might get him reading.

Another thing might be if he does all his school work in the week he can get rewarded with buying any book he wants at Barnes and Noble.

I hope I'm not bothering you with my first time mom advice I thought I would just throw it out there.

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February 23rd, 2005, 08:47 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: *queen city* of North Carolina
Posts: 9,497
My "best" friends brother, is 15, i think, and barily reads, etc does simple math. The parents don't really sit down and work with him, just yell, so that isn't the best thing in the world. But, my "best" friend and I, put together like our own little study program, of things that interested him, and said that we would take him and my brother to play lazer tag, if he did X amount of work so good, and coporated while doing it. Lazer tag was something he wanted to go to really badly so it gave that extra motivation to go, plus him and my brother get along really well. Just my experience, even though i'm not a mom.

Excuse my typing if its kinda messed up -- a couple keys on my laptop just fell off and I can't type right, without them!
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February 23rd, 2005, 06:51 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ohio.....I was born in Portsmouth, Virginia.
Posts: 15,494
I would think the reward system would work.
My kids have all done very well in school. Thank GOD, I have not had that worry.
My heart goes out to you.
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February 24th, 2005, 11:04 AM
dingledine's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Seattle Area
Posts: 11,335
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My son has difficulties also, even though he has the mental horsepower to do his work. He cares, but not enough to stay on task with it as much as we/he might like. I don't really have many things to suggest. Have a good talk with him about his career options if he continues on his current path. Let him know that it is NOT okay for him to live with you forever if he is not in school or working. Lay out for him the difference in pay and work that is done with a college lvl job that he might enjoy, vs. a McDonalds job. Find out what he wants to do with his life when he grows up, find things that he enjoys. Read to him books that he finds interesting, borrow books on tape from the library that he might enjoy, to get him interested in books in the first place. Borrow nature videos from the library if that is interesting for him. Find nice rewards for work well done, try to concentrate on the positive, but be brutally honest if you need to about where he might be heading in his life. Just not during a time when there is conflict already about it, find a nice time. Maybe get away and take him out to dinner and talk about it, just you 2. Congratulate him a lot when he does something well, just don't go too overboard with it. Just some suggestions.

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