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February 7th, 2011, 09:16 AM
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2
I'm a mom of 3 (19 y/o son, 16 y/o daughter, 12 y/o daughter). My problem lies with my youngest. She started exhibiting some unusual behavior about two months ago (angry, argumentative, generally just being very difficult). I figured it was probably just the age. She would have good days and bad, and I never knew what each day would bring. Finally, she confided in me about a month ago that a friend from school that she had recently been hanging out with outside of school told her that she had been molested by her stepfather. My daughter was torn between loyalty to her friend, who she promised not to tell, and doing the right thing. Thankfully, she came to me and told me what she knew. My daughter told me that the school was aware of it and that it was being investigated, but the friend was receiving pressure from her family to lie and say it didn't happen. I brought that information to the school and authorities. I felt really badly for this little girl and didn't want my daughter to desert her friend, so I continued to allow her contact with her. I think I may have made a huge mistake. I spoke with the school counselor about it, and I told her that while I felt badly about her friend, my gut told me that I should cut off contact between my daughter and her friend. The counselor advised me to go with my gut. She said that she thought my daughter's behavior was directly related to the stress she's feeling over this friendship. She picks fights constantly with her sister, me, her dad (who she claims to HATE). I have scheduled an appointment for her to meet with a counselor tomorrow afternoon after school. I don't recognize my own child anymore and I'm completely freaked out and angry over this. I feel angry because I feel like she shouldn't have to deal with these kinds of things. Sorry for the rambling, but I feel like I'm losing my mind.
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February 7th, 2011, 12:13 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Sorry you guys are dealing with this. If you feel that cutting the friendship is best, then you're doing the right thing. I also think that having her talk to the counselor will be a big help. Hopefully once she can have an outlet to dump her feelings on you will begin to recognize your child again.

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February 9th, 2011, 10:56 AM
wefrogy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 17,062
Hi and welcome to the board. Sorry it's taken me so long to welcome you and reply. I haven't had much time to be on here lately.

This is kind of a tough one. You don't won't to "make" your child abandon her friend, but you have to protect your own child at the same time. It sounds like you have a pretty good handle on it, just by being involved. The fact that your daughter did feel she could come and confide in you about it speaks volumes. Counseling sounds like a great idea and keeping the guidance councilor at school informed is a good idea too.

How is counseling going? Best of luck to you and your daughter as you work through this.

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February 10th, 2011, 07:57 AM
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2
Thanks for the responses. I'm feeling a little better about things. My daughter went for her first counseling session on Tuesday after school. She really liked the counselor and looks forward to going back to see her next week. She's still very moody -- talkative and laughing one minute and grouchy and withdrawn the next -- but I guess that's to be expected. Hopefully things will start to improve. I'm looking forward to the end of this school year. This is her last year of elementary school. Next year she'll be heading to high school and we've been talking about her getting involved in new activities and expanding her circle of friends.
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