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would appreciate some insight or advice

Forum: Moms of Teens and Preteens


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June 3rd, 2011, 10:27 AM
hotjai21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 14,852
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Hello my name is jessica. Without going in to a huge long family history I have a 13 year old brother. Currently my family is living with my mom and brother. For the most part I raised him until I got married and left home. So although this is a question for my mom I have brought up my concerns to her and they were dismissed.. So anyways my question is. I have found some stuffed animals with holes in the butt. You can see where this is going. I think its not normal and needs to be discussed. However I know every child goes through discovering themselves differently and maybe I should be more open. I'm sure he got this bright idea from one of the american pie movies that his father allows him to watch. He is not allowed to watch that type of stuff here and we set much stricter rules about tv/movies etc. I have talked with him some about things. He had a friend over that thought he was the dictionary on sex and was filling his head with loads of garbage. I tried to sort through and offer facts. But I'm stumped on what to do with this. I have tried to look up articles on the internet but I can't find anything really specific about using "items". Its more of its normal for this age to explore. Well I need to know what's normal and what's pushing it and needs to be discussed. I really hope someone can offer up some help!! Thanks so much!!
Jessica, married to Adam, mommy to 4 beautiful girls

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June 3rd, 2011, 09:15 PM
wefrogy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 17,062
Hi Jessica, Welcome to the board.

I have a son who will be 13 next month. If this were my child, I would be concerned. Not really sure what I would do, but would definitely be concerned.

It's hard to say what is normal as puberty brings on all kinds of feelings and changes. I would expect the curiosity, the urges and the exploration, but not the use of objects in this manor.

Is there a male role model in his life that he would be comfortable discussing this with. Someone that could talk to him about the urges and such that he is experiencing?

This is a tough one. I know with my son I can talk to him about sex and masturbation etc and though he would be a little embarrassed he would listen to me.

I think your brother needs to be assured by an adult male that the feelings of arousal are normal and masturbation in private is ok, but that the stuffed animals issue is not appropriate. My guess is that he will be embarrassed to talk or admit it, but I think he will listen and think about what the person says afterwards.

Good luck and best wishes

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