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Should I let her?

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November 16th, 2011, 10:38 PM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1
Hi everyone, I'm new here. I apologize for not really taking the time to introduce myself properly, but something came up last night that I kind of need advice on asap.

My daughter just turned 17 yesterday, and she's been dating the same guy for over a year now. He is an immigrant from Holland, and for her birthday gave her a plane ticket to go with him to Holland for her christmas/new years break (a little over 2 weeks). I'm not big on christmas, so we really dont have any kind of celebration, there's nothing for her to miss with me if she goes there. I'd love for her to go because it's a great opportunity to explore a new culture, and she seems so excited about the idea. Thing is I'm nervous about letting her spend that much time in a foreign country with only her boyfriend. I know she will be a legal adult in only a year, and I should let her have a little freedom. I told her I would think about letting her go, but I really dont have that much time to think. The flight is booked for december 20, and if she's going to go there are a lot of things to get in order. What would any of you do in this situation? let her go? tell her to wait until she's older? Am I showing a lack of trust in her by not wanting her to go?
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November 17th, 2011, 03:49 AM
Jaidynsmum's Avatar Dreams do come true....
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 15,647
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If you think she is mature enough then I'd let her go. Is it possible to get an open return on her flight ticket? That way you know she can get back home if she wants to before the end of the 2 weeks.
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November 17th, 2011, 11:26 AM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,953
I would be *very* cautious about this. There are a lot of questions I'd want to answer before saying yes.

Will they be with his family the whole time? Do you know his family? Do you feel you can trust them?
Where exactly will they be staying? Is it a safe area? Can she get home easily if she needs to?

If it were my daughter I would not let her go unless I could answer yes to all of those questions without a doubt. (even if she were just going to be a few blocks away, let alone in another country!)

That being said, it sounds like you really trust your daughter and think she'd be mature enough to handle it. Otherwise I'd bet you wouldn't even be considering letting her go. It does sound like an amazing expirience for her. I hope it all works out.

Btw... to JM. Looking forward to getting to know you better.

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November 19th, 2011, 12:18 AM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 15
I would think about this very hard. I, personally, would not let me daughter at that age fly to any country with a boy. But if you were to consider this, you need to ask yourself if you trust this boy. Also, where would they be staying? How would they get around the area? Where will his family be? Mamma_anna gave some good questions to ask.
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November 29th, 2011, 03:43 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,385
I wouldn't let her.

In Holland you can party pretty hard pretty young (legal drinking age is 16, and things that are illegal here aren't neccisarily there). It's also a much nicer place to visit in summer, as far as sightseeing and stuff.

I lived there till I was 11.
mom of 5 girls
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