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Sleepover Question


Forum: Moms of Teens and Preteens

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  • 1 Post By rosaliedarling
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  #1  
December 6th, 2016, 07:57 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 1
Hi. I'm brand new here....looking for some advice on sleepovers. What are your policies on sleepovers...how often, where, do you alternate houses each time, etc.?

My daughter is 12 (she's the oldest...my first time venturing these waters), and started at the public middle school this year. She has only made one close friend, and they like to have sleepovers...like every weekend. If we don't have plans, this is ok with me. However, my issue with this is that the other girl only wants to have the sleepovers at her house. Besides that their family has a lot of petty drama and doesn't parent the same as we do, honestly, I'd really like to be involved in my daughter's social life once in a while. I put my foot down tonight...calmly explained how I felt, and said that a sleepover was fine this weekend as long as it was our house. (I'd estimate that, out of 10 sleepovers, only 2 have been at our house.) My daughter was fine with that, but her little pal struck an attitude about it, trying to make me feel guilty, then texted me "Well, I guess we can just be friends at school, then." (I seriously had to suppress a teenage urge to text back, "Fine! Be that way!") Anywho, my thoughts are, if we want to have all these sleepovers, sometimes they should be here at my house. Is that really so unreasonable?

I tried to get to the bottom of why she didn't want to come here...her explanation was that my husband and I don't like her. I can't figure that one out, since we've done nothing but be welcoming...drive her to and from places when her parents can't, pick her up from school when she doesn't want to ride the bus, let the girls get together and hang out after school (when they don't have homework), invite her to family outings with us, etc.

Anyway...sorry to ramble. Would love to hear your thoughts and learn from your experience!
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  #2  
May 1st, 2017, 10:17 PM
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 2
At that age children can do things that don't make sense lol. I wouldn't worry too much about it, your daughter will make plenty more friends in the future who are more rational.
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  #3  
July 24th, 2017, 02:10 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Kansas
Posts: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by hoosiermom919 View Post
Hi. I'm brand new here....looking for some advice on sleepovers. What are your policies on sleepovers...how often, where, do you alternate houses each time, etc.?

My daughter is 12 (she's the oldest...my first time venturing these waters), and started at the public middle school this year. She has only made one close friend, and they like to have sleepovers...like every weekend. If we don't have plans, this is ok with me. However, my issue with this is that the other girl only wants to have the sleepovers at her house. Besides that their family has a lot of petty drama and doesn't parent the same as we do, honestly, I'd really like to be involved in my daughter's social life once in a while. I put my foot down tonight...calmly explained how I felt, and said that a sleepover was fine this weekend as long as it was our house. (I'd estimate that, out of 10 sleepovers, only 2 have been at our house.) My daughter was fine with that, but her little pal struck an attitude about it, trying to make me feel guilty, then texted me "Well, I guess we can just be friends at school, then." (I seriously had to suppress a teenage urge to text back, "Fine! Be that way!") Anywho, my thoughts are, if we want to have all these sleepovers, sometimes they should be here at my house. Is that really so unreasonable?

I tried to get to the bottom of why she didn't want to come here...her explanation was that my husband and I don't like her. I can't figure that one out, since we've done nothing but be welcoming...drive her to and from places when her parents can't, pick her up from school when she doesn't want to ride the bus, let the girls get together and hang out after school (when they don't have homework), invite her to family outings with us, etc.

Anyway...sorry to ramble. Would love to hear your thoughts and learn from your experience!
I don't feel like it's too unreasonable to have the sleepovers at your house as well. I would talk to the other little girls' parents and see if they are really strict on that issue or if they are the ones that are not allowing the sleepovers at your house very often. I do agree the girl didn't need to get an attitude or try to make you feel bad whatsoever, you are the parent of your child and that is your decision. Sometimes the problems lie deeper than the surface though and she may be used to reacting in that manner. I didn't pay attention to the date you posted this, but I hope it helps and GL!!
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advice needed, attitude, preteen, sleepover, tweens

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