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11 years old not motivated to do anything

Forum: Moms of Teens and Preteens


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July 30th, 2018, 08:27 AM
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2

I only have one daughter, so I m not sure if this is NORMAL behavior for a pre-teen. She is 11, but her attitude and physique is like a 14 years old. We had motivation problem all along, but recently it got really bad.

She doesn't really want to do anything, she started to play volleyball last year, and seems to like it. So to improve her skill, I contact a coach to teach her on the side, she was so upset and doesn't want to go to practice. This is a common problem for her, she doesn't want to do anything, just want to stay in her room and watch youtube.

She had a play date with her friends at the bowling alley, all the friends were at least try to play, but she just throw the ball without any focus.

Is this normal? We tried to talk to her about being driven, and have motivation. I guess she didn't hear a word. Any advice on what to do?


troubled mom
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August 1st, 2018, 01:15 PM
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 378
Sounds like you are so anxious for her to have a passion you will throw her at anything. Please relax around her, my dad was like this and it made me so pent up I would puke if I tried anything new because he made me have to be so perfect and so passionate at everything. She is 11, its too late to make her into what you want her, or to make her super famous with anything she isnt driven to do. I suggest you let her be, if you relax about how she does things and let her enjoy herself than she will try however hard she wants to. Listen to her say she likes things, be her sounding board, but dont even suggest any coach or lessons or competitions unless she brings it up and says she wants to first.
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November 3rd, 2018, 11:43 PM
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 4
Hi, I have a 12 year old daughter myself who has the attitude of a 16 year old already. She was never motivated to do any chores or even to do her homework. I have found something that has been motivating her to get better grades, do chores, and help out with her baby sister. I get her this monthly tween gift box and it has been helping a lot. She looks forward to receiving this surprise every month. My daughter loves Pusheen and I was going to get her a subscription box for that but it was so expensive! So, I tried this other one out instead and so far it has worked to get her motivated! Plus, they have some cute tops and leggings too!

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