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September 30th, 2005, 06:17 AM
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2
Does anyone have any problems with their teenagers using this MSN chat with other classmates/friends etcc..?

I am ashamed to admit I have read their conversations because the computer saves them all and am astonished in what I read.

I know of a parent who monitors every word they say but lets them know which is probably a better approach then me doing it without her knowing.

The problem of what she was saying got so out of hand over a 2 year period she is banned from MSN chat 'til 18. I gave her 4 chances to change what she was saying but she kept saying the astonishing things to her friends so I finally banned her.When I did she laughed at me and said "it took you this long mom to figure it out"

Note: when she was 12 it started the astonishing conversations. I got a phone call from the principal saying she was acting out (long story). My husband heard on the radio you can read their conversations under history. So, after reading 6 months back of stored conversations I confronted her and told her I read them.

I told her to stop talking this way. She then started to delete her conversations but left them sometimes which I read.

anyways wondering if anyone else is having problems like me.

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September 30th, 2005, 06:05 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ohio.....I was born in Portsmouth, Virginia.
Posts: 15,494

Jared chats on ICQ.....Both computers at our home & his Dads home are out in the livingrooms. We pretty much know what he is doing when on line.
Jared has been good to this point! Thank GOD.
~ HOST to ~FortySomething {Plus} Mommies~

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September 30th, 2005, 07:08 PM
Denise66's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 5,080
We do not use MSN but I children do chat sometimes. The computer is up in our room and so they do not come up here a lot to use it. When they do we are usually here so we know who they are talking to. So far no problems here.

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October 1st, 2005, 09:41 AM
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2
I glad to hear no one else is having my problems.Are computer is in our livingroom she did it right under our noses. If it wasn't for being able to get into history where the computer automatically saves it I still to this day wouldn't understand what was wrong with my child.She was way in over her head at 12.

The sad thing about it these are classmates, friends of friends. Her MSN chat buddies list is about 75 kids.

I am still trying to figure out how and why it happened. First, the computer makes you braver you say things you wouldn't normally say face to face to a person especially children/teenagers.

For example in a school yard one child might yell a bad name and run.On the computer you can say what you want because the other person is a block away etc.. In the school yard you have teachers monitoring the school yard on MSN chat there is no monitoring you can say anything you want.

As she got older 13/14 she continued to use astonishing words/sayings eetc. from what I read to shock the other person because after 4-5 hours on MSN she would get bored.Just like your teen should be in before 11-12p.m. at night because after this nothing is open and so only crime etc.. happens. From what I can see after 2-3 hrs. on computer the child/teenager gets bored and bad words/sayings etc.. happens.

I copied 6 months worth of the messages of my child and other children/teenagers she was talking to. I never approached the one boys parents where most of the problem occurred when she was 12 cause they are new to country russian and don't speak very good english.

I did approach my daughters best friend's mom who is russian also and she didn't understand me.

I also approached one mom her son put "shot all the kids at school" as his MSN name. The mother told me she can't control her son. The father told my husband he was an **** to mind his own business.

anyways, I think alot of moms would be surprised at what is going on in MSN chat with people they know. I think they have to read it themselves because if someone told me my daughter say this or that I wouldn't believe them either.

I don't want to get into detail as to what was said on MSN and followed up with off of MSN chat because it is to graphic and astonishing.It makes me sick.

I just want to get the word out read the History under received files on your computer if your child is on MSN you might be in for a surprised.

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October 5th, 2005, 11:18 AM
loving Alissa and Olivia
Posts: n/a
I will tell you that my mom had this issue with my 14 yr old sister.. I mean sexual conversations.. HE WAS A PEDOPHILE!!!! I was shocked.. he is currently sitting in jail right now
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October 11th, 2005, 03:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 3,469
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Oh warning big time about instant messaging or chat. Beware what your kids do on the internet. Our son was messaging people. Not sure if they were all buddies from school or our area. I think they all were not. He was on the MSN messaging or AIM. Him and these so called online buddies. Got the feds to our house and they took all our computers, my digital camera, my palm pilot I used for work and any other electronic devices they thought we used for storage. I don't know when or if we'll get our stuff back. I am not worried about our sons computer. He is no longer allowed unrestricted internet access in our house ever. Even as an adult he gets no internet without us watching over him. All I know or the police told us is. Our son helped some online buddies transmitt a program or something via the internet that did at least 5000$ in damages. So far our son was not charged with anything. If his story is true. He did not know the online buddies used that program to do bad things. He gets no punishment via the legal system. If they find anything that says he did know of the bad things on his computer. He's in deep trouble with the law. Right now I am on a lap top computer I got over the weekend. Our son is so jealous about it. Well it was a really sweet deal. It is better than my computer they took. If I get the computer back. I am donating it to our church. The school needs computers for the classrooms. I been very carefull at keeping our son off the internet for now. Unless he needs school something stuff for homework. Although I did catch our son trying to get online on the instant message the other day. Dh found sons tracks. Our son is age 16. Let this be a warning to parents. Don't be stupid like I was. Thinking our son was learning some new programing skills and doing homework stuff that needed the internet. I am scared for the future of things in our house with what just happened. It will be 3 weeks as of this coming Wednesday we have not had our stuff. Not sure when they will call to say dh and I can have our stuff back.
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October 12th, 2005, 07:38 AM
sanderson76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 13,344
Send a message via MSN to sanderson76
We finally agreed last year to let our oldest daughter (13) use msn. After she was using it for awhile I started noticing emails in her inbox and the rule was, she was not to use the hotmail account at all. So I went into it and read it. I didn't tell her I didn't, and she didn't care that I did.

A girlfriend of hers was sending her links and pictures and showing her how to chat. Well come to find out this friend of hers was sending this stuff to a few other girls too.. Needless to say, our oldest DD and a few of her friends are no longer allowed to use msn or any messaging system.

It has been wiped off our computer and it will be a year in Feb. that she has had it taken away. She is on the phone more anyway...


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October 13th, 2005, 12:46 PM
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 28
Wow, all of these stories are so scary and disturbing to hear -- the internet is a scary place with a lot weirdos out there. I think it is really important for parents to monitor their kids internet usage but the best approach is to be honest with your kids about it because it is only going to make them rebel if you go behind their back. But more importantly than monitoring is to talk to your kids about the dangers of the internet -- share these stories with your kids because there have many numerous stories about kids getting themselves in dangers situations on the internet.

Has anyone here heard of Netsmartz? My company does work with them and it is a free interactive workshop where kids/teenagers can learn to be safer online -- great site for the parents as well

Check it out and share the stories you find with your kids to put things into perspective

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October 20th, 2005, 05:12 AM
sweetcheeks's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Iowa
Posts: 65
Can someone please tell me how to get the conversations off the history???
My 14 and 12 year olds use MSN. Usually I am right there and sometimes I watch them chat so I know what's being said, but I do walk away now and then to take care of the baby and what not.
They are only allowed to be on when DH and I are around and only for an hour between them tops. But if someone could let me know how to access the conversations, I'd greatly appreciate it!
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Mommy to:
Frankie -14yrs.
Breanna -12yrs.
Gunnar - 9yrs.
Joseph - 10 months

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