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Forum: Pregnancy Loss


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April 6th, 2009, 05:58 PM
cintelis's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 336
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It has been a really hard day.
March 6 was the day we were told that our baby was gone.
'fetal demise'.
Today I walked around trying to get through the day without being upset, sad, or angry and it didn't go too well.
It got worse about 30 minutes ago when I had just gotten after my 11 year old ds and went to vent to my dh. He was giving our dd a bath, and after I said my piece about what ds had done... dh just sat there and said nothing. did nothing. so i stormed out of the bathroom and slammed the door. and then i slammed the bedroom door.
after he had bathed and dressed dd, he came down with his guns blazing and got after me for being mad at him. and he was upset because he gets blamed for everything and everything gets taken out on him... and it went on and on.
And it all came down to it all being my fault and apparently i blow everything out of proportion and take it out on him.
I dont think he has any idea what today is.
He has no idea that i spent a good part of today trying not to cry, so when he started getting after me, I started sobbing.
I am hiding in our room right now and he is downstairs with dd.

This is soooo hard. I had no idea it would still hurt so much. I have been doing really well the past couple of weeks, and then BLAM! Here i frickin go again.
I just wanted him to hold me and stroke my hair and just be there for me.

What is wrong with me?!

Thank you alyssademoraes for my awesome siggy!

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April 6th, 2009, 09:58 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dallas, Oregon
Posts: 7,100
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Nothing is wrong with you. You are just grieving and it takes time to move forward.
Men don't usually remember these dates like we do. We tend to do countdowns. 1 wk, 1 month, 6 mo...my EDD. It makes us who we are as mothers. We want to always remember dates b/c they aresuppose to be special. DH doesn't mean any harm or hurt. Simple fact is he's a male and doesn't think like us.
When I was at the height of my grieving DH also got the brunt of it. Have you tried talking to him and telling him how much you are hurting? Sometimes just that little bit of communication can make a difference and explain( to him) why you are so frustrated.

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April 6th, 2009, 10:09 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Oh honey, the only thing wrong with you is that you are a mother missing her baby. This sort of wound isn't like a physical one. If you hurt your body, for most wounds, a month later you are mostly, if not completely, healed.

But honey, this is different. It's only been a month, and that is not much time at all. Especially since the first couple of weeks or so you are in shock. So it's not until 3 weeks/1 month that you're really feeling the grief anyway. Not only that, but by the time a month comes around, everyone else seems to "forget." Everyone else expects you to be "okay" when really you are still hurting so much.

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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April 7th, 2009, 12:47 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
I'm sending you huge *HUGS*, honey.

Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009

BeaMade for unique, adorable, high quality handmade crochet hats and booties, velcro free soother clips and soft sole baby boots.
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April 7th, 2009, 10:00 PM
Kary♥RN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: PA
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I am so sorry, I agree with the other ladies.. thier is noting wrong with you. I wish I could take the pain away. I am so sorry!

Thank you GraysMama For my BEAUTIFUL Siggy!!!

BFP 11/09/08 M/C 11/11/08 BFP 01/02/09 M/C 01/29/09 BFP 08/26/09 M/C 10/02/09 Missing our 3 Angles
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April 8th, 2009, 05:19 AM
LIZZYI's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,533
Nothing is wrong with you!!! I am so sorry!!
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