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Why do i feel like this? Is this normal?

Forum: Pregnancy Loss


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May 12th, 2009, 01:44 PM
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 141
I lost my baby a week ago my first loss. I don't even think i knew what was going on, i was in shock. But anyway's is it normal to feel like this was my fault somehow? I feel like i did something that day to case it. Or something is wrong with my body i know there are many reason why i could have lost the baby. But i cant help but thing i had something to do with it. I have a feeling im going to have a hard time dealing with this.

Brandon-edd Jan,1,2010. Grew his wings on May 5.2009
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May 12th, 2009, 03:57 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Yes, I think it's normal. I think that we all felt/feel guilty. After all, what's a mother's greatest responsibility but to protect her children? But...it's really NOT your fault. There was nothing you could have done. You did nothing wrong. You love and wanted your baby.

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

Last edited by Brittanie; May 12th, 2009 at 05:54 PM.
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May 12th, 2009, 05:44 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
Yes it is normal to feel that way. I am so sorry for your loss.

I blamed myself for the first few weeks.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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May 12th, 2009, 07:37 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
Totally normal. It's been 3 months and I still blame myself. DH is really frustrated.

Thank you Vicki for my awesome siggy!!

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May 12th, 2009, 09:19 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
It is human nature to try and blame someone or something for the loss of a baby. The easiest person is you because we carried them and it was our bodies that let them go. Please know that these are one of those things that you had no control over. WE have no control over when a m/c is going to happen, medicaly speaking. Hopefully you will not blame yourself for to long, but we all do in the beginning. As time passes, this blame will pass too.
momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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May 13th, 2009, 04:43 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,389
I blamed myself for a little while. There was no one else to blame and I needed to be angry at someone so by default that left me - my rational self knew that it was not my fault but I still WANTED to blame myself.

It's not your fault, but I think it must just be a normal part of the grieving process to go through this feeling. It helped me to have a big cry (which I needed).


Thanks to Meganpixel for my beautiful siggie!
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May 13th, 2009, 09:50 AM
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 141
Yea i think thats what i need a big cry.Im sure it will come when i hold me Nephews or see the new baby.

Brandon-edd Jan,1,2010. Grew his wings on May 5.2009
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May 13th, 2009, 04:50 PM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Bossier City, LA
Posts: 5,060
It is normal. Its been 3 months and i still find myself blaming myself sometimes.
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May 13th, 2009, 05:30 PM
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 299
I think it's totally normal. While my brain knows I did everything right, my heart hurts so it is easy to blame my stupid body! Sometimes I hate my body for letting our baby go, but I know there must have been a good reason. I'm only two days out so I can't say when it gets better, but I have faith it will! You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!
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May 13th, 2009, 07:23 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
I believe that it's normal, and that we all experience the feeling of guilt.

It wasn't your fault, honey, and there's nothing that you could have done. I know that it's hard to believe, but it's true.


Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009

BeaMade for unique, adorable, high quality handmade crochet hats and booties, velcro free soother clips and soft sole baby boots.
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