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Poor waitress!

Forum: Pregnancy Loss


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May 14th, 2009, 11:29 PM
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 299
Today we went to breakfast at a local restaurant that my parents had been taking me to since I was a kid. (We actually went there on the way home from the hospital Monday after we were told about m/c because it was 2pm and DH had not eaten all day!) We told our waitress who we are friendly with about m/c, but when we were paying another waitress who took our money said "I hear congratulations are in order" (My parents must have told her) and I kind of grimaced and said thanks. She king of stuttered like she was confused and said "right?" so I told her yes, it was, but not anymore. Oh I felt so bad for her because she felt so horrible. She had no way of knowing, it wasn't her fault. I told her many times not to feel bad, but she felt horrible. I think I felt worse for her than me walking out of there!
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May 15th, 2009, 07:51 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I had that happen a lot. I was close to my due date, and then took a month off, so all our regular customers thought I had had my baby. Well, I DID, but they didn't know I didn't get to keep her. Every time they said "Oh, you're back! How's the baby?" It was so hard to tell them. Not only because it was hard for me, but they all looked so shocked and crestfallen. I mean, obviously nobody expects it, and the last thing they want to do is rub it in your face.

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May 15th, 2009, 07:53 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
That is rough. I have had it happen a few times and I feel so horrible for them.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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May 16th, 2009, 11:04 AM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dallas, Oregon
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I had that happen over and over again for months after we lost Annika. I was 7 mo along and looked like 10mo. So when I came back to work ( i work for the USPS) almost everyone assumed I had a new baby at home. It was so painful at first. It almost got to the point where I felt like I was the one doing the consoling. so many felt soo bad they were near tears or just became speechless. I kind of wished I could wear a sign at times "NO- I didn't bring a healthy baby home. Please, no ?'s"

It amazes me b/c ppl still ask how old she is or how Ellie's big sister is doing and so on.
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May 16th, 2009, 12:03 PM
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 299
So I think it might be a sign that we go out to eat too often! There is a small restaurant down the street from us that has great happy hour specials. We usually go before 6pm and split a half price appetizer for dinner (Hello cheap!)! Well I could not stay in the house alone anymore yesterday afternoon and I went out to have a drink with my sister at this place. First drink in three months! Well as we were leaving our usual waitress saw us and asked how I was feeling. She felt terrible. Poor girl. Yeah, I think we go out to eat too often!
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May 16th, 2009, 08:57 PM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Bossier City, LA
Posts: 5,060
I know how these situations can be weird. I have a family friend that didnt see my post on myspace and sent me a message 2 months after the m/c and asked how the baby was doing and if dh was taking good care of me. It was so hard to send her a message back and tell her the baby had died.
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May 16th, 2009, 09:05 PM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
Yea, I've dealt with this also - mainly at work when clients came in and hadn't known I was off for a month and a half and b/c I still looked pregnant for a while after, they obviously thought I still was. I don't blame them for asking b/c they obviously had no idea. It was hard telling people that she was stillborn without almost bursting into tears and choking up, but it got easier after a while. I also felt really bad for some of them b/c they looked like they were going to cry and would keep apologizing for even asking me in the first place, which again, they had no idea, so they shouldn't have to feel bad.
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May 17th, 2009, 09:49 AM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
Sheila - I agree, you feel like you're the one consoling them, because they just seem so traumatized by the thought of the loss of a baby, and they have no idea what to say or do.

Elena, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've had something similar happen to me so many times. *HUGS*

Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009

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