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some days are better than others

Forum: Pregnancy Loss


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June 16th, 2009, 01:28 PM
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 12
Today, I thought of Hailey,my precious little Angel. I was looking through the pictures of Hailey. All the memories and pain all came back. I feel so empty inside. It's like my world has fallen apart.

I tried talking to my husband about how I am feeling inside. It seems like he doesn't know what to say to me anymore. He just give out a big sigh and ignores me. or sometimes, he would just patt me on the back and tells me not to think about it. It's not good for your health.

i know it's not good for my health for crying or feeling sad all the time. But it is so hard for me to bottle all this feeling inside. What does one do to make yourself feel better after you have lost the most important person in your life? I don't know what to do anymore.
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June 16th, 2009, 04:49 PM
Kary♥RN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: PA
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Awww Hun.. HUGS... I know it is hard. I have bad days and worse days.. I don't think since my loss I have had a day I haven't teared up as some point. I will lable my day good when I can get through the day with out tearing... My dh is a "fixer" as my dearest friend said. When I said to her dh just dosen't understand. When I cry he tells me to stop crying.. not in a mean way... but none the less tells me to stop. When I told her... she said he dosen't know how to make things better. Some men if they can't fix it.. they don't know how to deal with it. So I can understand what you are feeling. That is why I am sooo glad to know I have the ladies on this board. They know how I am feeling. What I sometimes can not put into words. Some one here can. I don't know when these feeling for you will get better, I don't know when your good day will come. But just know We are here for you, we understand your feelings, and will be here when your "good" day comes... HUGS

Thank you GraysMama For my BEAUTIFUL Siggy!!!

BFP 11/09/08 M/C 11/11/08 BFP 01/02/09 M/C 01/29/09 BFP 08/26/09 M/C 10/02/09 Missing our 3 Angles
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June 16th, 2009, 05:03 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
When I feel like that I usually come here. DH doesn't always get how I feel but you guys always do.

Thank you Vicki for my awesome siggy!!

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June 16th, 2009, 05:21 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
The thing is, sometimes crying is better for your health!! It's better to let it out sometimes, so it doesn't fester. And no, men don't understand. My DH is a fixer too. But he's realized over the past 3 years that sometimes I just need to cry, and that's all there is to it.

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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June 16th, 2009, 05:48 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dallas, Oregon
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I know you feel like feeling sad and gloomy is bad but that's your heart telling you haven't finished grieving.
Many of us have felt like we couldn't talk to others any more b/c they just looked at us like "you should be over it by now". That's not true. Everyone is different and some of us need to be surrounded and comforted by those who understand our pain.

I found this board to be my safe haven. Even tho dh never really said for me to move on I felt like others we thinking I should. In many ways I felt like I had no place to turn until I found our board. I know it's not the most active but I have always know this is a fairly private community and everyone is heartful and understanding.
We are all here for you....it does get better.
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June 16th, 2009, 08:31 PM
megal40's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,853
I just wanted to say I am sorry. The pain is there. If you don't deal with it, it will do more harm to your health. I have learned, especially through this board, that everyone deals with the pain differently. Cry if you need to or talk if you need to. Whatever helps you heal.

It never goes away. The best way I can explain it is that I feel like every day it just becomes more a part of who I am and not just something I have experienced. I will never forget the two children I have lost-- even if I don't talk about them to anyone but the ladies here.

Cope the way you need to and know that everyone here is ready to listen and give support.

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June 17th, 2009, 09:01 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754
I have to agree with Brittanie and some of the other ladies. Crying is good for you. We all cope and grieve and heal in our own way in our own time. There is no special time that you should be over it by. I'm not sure it's something we ever "get over."
Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)

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June 17th, 2009, 02:18 PM
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 12
Thank you so much Ladies for your support. You make me feel so much better. It is so hard to talk to my husband. I don't think men understand how women thinks or feels. They just assume that you are ok. Sometimes it is even harder to deal with his mood swings. One moment he is happy and then another moment he gets all grumpy or sad.
I didn't know men can have mood swings too..
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June 21st, 2009, 05:39 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009

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