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Forum: Pregnancy Loss


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June 24th, 2009, 10:04 AM
MonkeyBugMommy's Avatar Brooke
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Augusta, GA
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On the 16th of June, I got a positive HPT test. I was SO excited! DH and I had been trying for number two for 4 months, after having to wait about two years due to deployment (DH is in the Army). We were so happy to finally be pregnant, and I was so excited that I was finally going to have the new baby that I'd been longing for for so long. I did have an odd feeling, though. Like I just knew that something would go wrong, but I tried to ignore it. Because of that feeling, I only told a handful of people that I was pregnant. I'm very thankful for that now.

Almost a week after I found out that I was pregnant, I was going out to the car to get something before heading to bed. It was dark outside (11:00pm) and I completely missed the last step or two going down the porch. I landed really hard right on my belly and got really scraped up. Instantly I thought "This is it..." and I just knew that this was what the bad feeling was all about. After sitting on the ground totally dazed and in pain for a minute, I went inside and told DH that I fell down the steps. I asked him to call the hospital and ask what we should do. I was terrified. The nurse that we talked to said that we were supposed to call 911, but that we didn't have to - we could just come into the ER. So, we went to the ER. It was a horrible, horrible night. I was ignored for most of the night, and the "care" that I did get was worth nothing. I felt like I was an inconvenience. The doctor "tried" to do an ultrasound and said that she couldn't see anything, no evidence of a pregnancy. She said "I'm just going to have to give up." and that was it. No trying another way, no calling someone else to try. She just gave up and had the nerve to tell me so. Then she started saying things like "IF you are pregnant..." Like either I was lying or I was stupid. So, she had me do a urine test that came back positive. DUH! Then she didn't even come back to discharge me. A nurse came in with a paper and said "The doctor is too busy, so she told me to give you one of these generic papers..." TOO BUSY! We were there literally all night, and got no help. No one even tended to the awful, bloody scrapes that I had. I was sent home with nothing but a positive urine pregnancy test, even though I told them when I went in that I was pregnant... That was Wednesday night/Thursday morning.

Saturday evening, all of a sudden my stomach started cramping up. I went to the bathroom and I noticed some light spotting. I remember saying "Oh no.." out loud. I came out of the bathroom and told DH, and I told him that I had to go to the ER, but that I was NOT going back to the same ER as before. We went into the Army hospital on post this time. While waiting to be seen, the spotting got worse. It was actually turning into bleeding, not just spotting. My blood pressure was really high, when normally I don't have any issues with it at all. The day before it was completely normal. A doctor did a pelvic exam, then I was sent to have an ultrasound done. The technician did the regular ultrasound and a vaginal one. I cried a lot while in the ER. The cramps were not going away and the bleeding was only getting worse. I knew that I was having a miscarriage. The original doctor that I had seen left for a shift at the first hospital that I went to, so a new doctor came to talk to me about the results of the ultrasounds. He said that they couldn't see the pregnancy at all, and that at 8 weeks (where I should have been), they should be able to see something. Then he said that my hcg level was only 280. The doctor and I came to the conclusion that I may have only been a couple weeks along, as apposed to the 8 weeks that was based off of my LMP because along with not being able to see the pregnancy, the low hcg level I had gotten a negative test about 2 weeks prior. He said that if I wasn't as far along as 8 weeks, it was a good sign, but the bleeding and cramping still was not good. He said that all we could do was wait and see what happened. I knew, though. I knew that I was losing my baby.

Sunday the cramps and bleeding continued to get worse. At one point the cramps got so bad that I tried to go to sleep to get through it, but it hurt too much. I went to the bathroom and I passed some tissue. I didn't look at it. I didn't want to, but I felt it. Then the cramps went away completely for a few hours. They came back again, but not as bad and I passed something else. Over the next couple of days I continued cramping and bleeding.

I finally saw an OBGYN on Tuesday. He was very nice and compassionate. He told me that just because this happened doesn't mean anything about what will happen in the future. He didn't do any kind of exam other than an ultrasound, though. He sent me for bloodwork to see if the hcg levels have dropped, but that's all. I wish he had done some kind of exam to see if my body caused the miscarriage. I know it's unlikely, but what if it did? I don't want him to just assume that something went wrong with the baby, and then I try again and it happens again.. I don't know if I could handle that.

I don't want Thanksgiving or Christmas to come. I don't want to go on our family vacation. I'm terrified for January to come because that was when I was due. I know that I will be thinking "I should be big and pregnant now" or "I should be having my baby soon." I don't know if I can handle seeing newborn babies or pregnant women without bursting into tears. I just feel so empty. I wish that I would stop bleeding and cramping. It's hard having this constant reminder of what has happened..

Anyway, that's my story. I'm not sure what else to say, I just needed to get it out.
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June 24th, 2009, 10:35 AM
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Central Jersey
Posts: 134
I am so sorry for your loss. I too am going through this right now. This is one of the hardest things I have been through. Please feel free to vent and talk to us. I have already found comfirt in all of the ladies here.
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June 24th, 2009, 10:46 AM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dallas, Oregon
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I am so sorry. I am so thankful you had a better visit with the OB then you did with the ER staff. Did the Dr tell you anything else like how long you should wait to ttc again?
plenty of Dr's dont' worry too much if it's a 1st m/c but it happens multiple times then there might be a reason for concern. Not that that make it any easier. A loss is a loss and there is still grief that comes along with it.
We are here for you.
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June 24th, 2009, 01:50 PM
Kary♥RN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: PA
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I am sorry for you loss... What you are feeling is normal... We all know those feelings. It is so hard to be able to look forward when you want the past back. You want that baby, you want that life growing inside you. I still look at it from the point of this is where I should be.. I should be big and fat. I should feel my baby growing. But I don't. I have that same empty feeling. I can't say when it feels better. I have started to have better days.. a little more than the bad or worse days I usually have. They say you do start being able to move forward. And not look back everyday. I still look back... I hope that one day I can lookforward.. I hope you will be able to also... HUGs

Thank you GraysMama For my BEAUTIFUL Siggy!!!

BFP 11/09/08 M/C 11/11/08 BFP 01/02/09 M/C 01/29/09 BFP 08/26/09 M/C 10/02/09 Missing our 3 Angles
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June 24th, 2009, 02:46 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
Iam so sorry for your loss, and welcome you here at the same time. I really don't think your fall down the steps caused this to happen to you though. The baby is pretty protected at this point and the chances of that causing a m/c would be low. Im just trying to reasure you that you did not cause this to happen. You may not be able to get the answers your looking for right now, as most dr.'s will not do testing until several losses have happened. I pray that this was a fluke and your future will give you the little baby you so desperately want.
momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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June 24th, 2009, 08:02 PM
megal40's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,853
I am so sorry for your bad experience on top of the pain of going through a m/c. That is bad enough to deal with. You didn't need the added stress and anxiety of the ER experience.

I am sorry you have found yourself here but it is a wonderful place for women dealing with m/c. You will quickly see that it is much more normal than anyone wants to believe. It is sad for everyone involved.

Communicate with your doctor. I learned a lot from mine after my first m/c.


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June 24th, 2009, 08:56 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with Lori - highly doubtful it was caused by your fall. We all know how much this hurts and we are here for you. I have been the queen of venting anger, hurt, and sorrow on these boards.

I am glad you found us.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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June 24th, 2009, 09:36 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Oh I am so glad that someone has already said what I was going to say: I doubt the fall caused it. Pure coincidence.

I'm so sorry that you went through all that. I'm sorry you were treated like that at the ER, you didn't deserve that.

If you would like your angel added to our memorial list, please just add your information to the sticky.

I'm sorry that you have to join us here, but I hope that you feel welcome, and comfortable to vent/cry/scream whenever you need us.

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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June 25th, 2009, 09:43 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,090
I'm sorry for your loss

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June 27th, 2009, 08:15 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
I'm so sorry for your loss, honey, and that you were treated so horribly You and your family are in my T&P.

Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009

BeaMade for unique, adorable, high quality handmade crochet hats and booties, velcro free soother clips and soft sole baby boots.
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