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Just lost baby preparing to deliver

Forum: Pregnancy Loss


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October 20th, 2012, 11:23 AM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 66
I went to a routin appt yesterday thinking I was just about 18 weeks pregnant and discovered through ultrasound that their was no heartbeat and that baby had died about a week ago. I had no cramping or bleeding. Since I am so far along I will have to go through labor and delivery, I will be induced next week. I am devastated and kinda numb right now. Has anyone one through labor and delivery knowing the baby was gone and have any advice, I dont knos if seeing and holding our baby will make it better or worse?
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October 20th, 2012, 06:07 PM
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1
My heart goes out to you. I recently lost my daughter at 26 wks at the end of August. I too went in for my regular checkup and was devasted and crushed when they told me her heart was no longer beating. I chose to be induced the following day and after 9 1/2 hrs of labour I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. My partner and I decided to see our daughter. We agreed this would help with our grieving process. We also gave the option to our own parents(her grandparents) and I believe it helped us all. We were able to hold her, kiss her, take photos and dress her in clothes we brought from home. The hospital allowed us as much time as we needed with her. These are memories I will cherish forever. If you are worried about seeing your baby before full term, you could ask your ob/gyne to let you know if he or she appears physically okay and go from there which is what we requested as well. This will be one of the most difficult things you will go through. You will go through many emotions. It has been 2 mths since I lost my Avery and I have moments where it feels like it happened yesterday. I just miss her so very much. Please surround yourself with good support, and know you are not alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you every step of the way.
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October 20th, 2012, 08:57 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 66
Thank you, I am so sorry for your loss as well. I am going to be induced on monday and think seeing the b ab y will help, my fiance doesnt think he will be able to. We are trying to respect each others grieving methods andwill see what happens when it is time. Again I am so sorry about your Avery
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October 21st, 2012, 06:47 PM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,364
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I haven't had this experience but my sweet SIL has twice. The first time she id not hold her baby girl and she very much regreted that. It was very hard for her when she lost her triplets but she held them. It helped her a lot to deal with everything she was going through. Just thought I'd share what she went through.
Aug. 21 2012
Mar. 31 2013
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October 21st, 2012, 10:04 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
I am so sorry you are going through this.

I lost my son Seth at 18 weeks in September. I found it very helpful have some idea what to expect. On the still born board down the list *bobbie* has pictures of her sweet son Noah who was born still at 16 weeks. My baby had passed as much as two weeks before his was induced and he had some pooling of blood that distorted how he looked.

My regret was in talking only one picture of him. My friends assure me 100 would never be enough but I don't think i could complain if I had that many. So definately take a camera and even though you might not want to take a picture of her in as best light as you can.

In my process my doctor began the indiction with luminate (seaweed) and they I got cytotec orally and vaginally. I was afraid it would be very painful physically and it wasn't. I infacr didn't even go to the hospital and the baby came at home and it was not phyically painful at all. The trip to the hospital was uncomfortable and so was the doctor retreving the placenta. Even afterwords I didn't need any pain medicine. I stayed at the hospital for observation for about 12 hours.

I hope and pray for strenght for you and you family at this time of sorry.
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October 24th, 2012, 10:22 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 66
After 7 hours of labor, I gave birth to the tiniest little boy I have ever seen. He was beautiful and already had his daddy and brothers nose. I spent some time with him and his wonderful face will forever be etched into my head and heart. I am heartbroken that I will have to spend the rest of my life without my son here with me. RIP my perfect little Henry William:-(
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October 25th, 2012, 07:35 AM
sweety_pie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,823
So sorry for your loss!

{Aug/07/201212 weeks} {Oct/29th/20127 weeks}
Forever missing my Mom...

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November 9th, 2012, 11:29 AM
softbreeze's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I live in Saskatchewan Canada
Posts: 919
Ladies I am so sorry for all of your losses and heartbreaks. I am going through my third miscarriage right now and I know that I need to be thankful that it terminated itself at this early point if there was something wrong and not farther down the road as you ladies have had to experience. It truly breaks my heart to imagine what you all have gone through and I want to tell you all that you are such strong strong women and I pray that you willnever have to go through this again.
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November 14th, 2012, 01:56 AM
Tree_Love's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Central California
Posts: 2,389
I am so sorry for your loss. I have found that stillbirthday.com has a lot of resources to help. I wish I had come in here more so I could have pointed you to them sooner. I also found out on October 20th that I lost my babies, I was 9w3 and they sent me home, I ended up passing them at home later that day... I would see if there are any bereavement doulas in your area to help you out.

Elan Dakota 7/28/2012
Paxx Tarlow & Sage Finley 10/20/2012
Cael Hollis 5/3/2013

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