Log In Sign Up

Unwanted "Advice"??

Forum: Pregnancy Loss


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By MelChicago

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Pregnancy Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
March 28th, 2013, 05:43 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,915
Just wondering if anyone else has gotten some and what it was?

I was asked if I wanted a baby to "fill a void?" Then I was told not to jump into ttc again if I am doing it just because I want a baby. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but don't most people have babies to add more joy to their lives, to "fill a void" or to feel as though their family is complete? Plus if you don't WANT a baby then common sense says you shouldn't try for one! I know it was said with good intentions but some people these days...

Reply With Quote
March 28th, 2013, 07:10 PM
~ ttc island baby #3 ~
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,547
Ugh, some people can be so thoughtless!

I haven't been told much since only a handfull of people know. I have been told that it probably happened because I'm too old since the older you get the more damaged your eggs are (I just turned 35) and that I definitely shouldn't ttc again because of my age. I was also told that obviously God did not want me to have the baby. WOW, that one took the cake for me!
Reply With Quote
March 28th, 2013, 07:34 PM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,235
Wow, hard to believe there are people out there that could say things like that. Only a few people knew were were expecting. My MIL said I was too old and that I missed my window and it wasn't my turn anymore. The substitute OB that was in for our regular OB told me I was too old as well.

On the flipside, I've had some very positive things said to me. My Aunt, who is extremely old fashioned and is more like my mother than my actual mother, said that this was nature making sure that I had a baby that lived to be born and have a healthy and happy life. She cried with me and told me she knows the pain and sorrow of loss having lost early in pregnancy as well as losing a child later (her son died of cancer when he was in his 40s) and while we don't have a good reason for either, we must put our energy in the life that we do have surrounding us.

I found comfort in that, at least for a little while. She meant well and I appreciated that.

Adding another thought. The day we found out about our loss, my boss called. I was sobbing and I explained what had happened. She said to me "Why don't you work this weekend. It'll keep your mind off things". I was kind of speechless.
Leia 42 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 41
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013

Last edited by lelila; March 29th, 2013 at 08:01 AM.
Reply With Quote
March 29th, 2013, 04:58 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,734
Grr. I wish there were an anonymous punching service. I'd hire them to go knock out all these "well-meaning" commenters.
smsturner likes this.
Reply With Quote
March 29th, 2013, 07:04 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,915
I can't BELIEVE the things I just read here! Is it really that hard for one to think before they speak? So beyond messed up!

Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:38 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0