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Am I making the wrong decision? Miscarriage at 21 weeks

Forum: Pregnancy Loss


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June 2nd, 2014, 02:36 PM
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2
I am 21 weeks pregnant with a beautiful baby girl. I went for a routine check up this week and the hospital told me they couldn't find her heart beat. I am so heartbroken, I can't eat, sleep or think straight. I went for another scan just hoping a praying that they were wrong, but sadly she has passed. It doesn't feel real, I feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare and I just want someone to wake me up already. I went to talk to the doctor today, to tell me my options. I have decided to wait for labour to come on naturally, I don't know if this is the right choice. I don't want to be induced knowing that I could be waiting at the hospital for days on the labour ward with all the other mums having their beautiful healthy babies, when I know mine will never take her first breath. I have had 4 other pregnancy, I have 3 amazing happy healthy kids and I lost twins at 31 weeks in 2011. I have had c-section with all 4 pregnancy and have no idea what labour feels like, I'm scared and don't know what to expect. This time last week I was the happiest I had ever been, it took me nearly 3 years to know what true happiness felt like again after I lost the twins. I suffered server depression, anxiety and even attempted suicide. I had a gorgeous little girl in 2013, my pregnancy with her was very complicated and I found that I couldn't get excited about the pregnancy cause I was so scared of losing her after the twins. When I fell pregnant this time I was so excited, I was picturing our future, I was enjoying getting fat, I felt like I had so much to look forward to. I now feel like my world has been turned upside down again, i have so much heart ache in front of me, delivering the baby, making funeral arrangements. Feel like I'm back at square one, I have an amazing supportive partner,. Who I can't be thankful enough for. He supports all my decisions as he just wants me to be happy but I think he wishes that I chose to be induced. Any advice would be great

RIP my beautiful angel Ellie xxx
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August 1st, 2014, 01:24 PM
May 2013 Cohost
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,638
I'm so sorry. It's just unimaginable what you're going through

I don't have any real advice. I just wanted to express my condolences.
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August 21st, 2014, 07:56 PM
Boss Mama
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 8,247
Lurking..... First off i am extremely sorry for your losses. I hate hearing so many woman going through this pain. i suffered 2 miscarriages one at 18 weeks due to pPROM and i chose to be induced and deliver her vaginally and the one after that the heart stopped beating at 13 weeks however i didn't realize until 2 weeks later when i couldn't find the heartbeat and i ended up doing a d&c. I think it may take a while for your body to realize the baby passed and i don't think you would want to spend all that time walking around with the baby inside of you like that. In order to heal you would need to deliver the baby and start the healing process. I wish you all the best and pray for a speedy recovery. I'm here if you need to talk
BFP #1 - Baby boy born May 10 1998
BFP #2 - Baby Girl born March 22 2002
BFP #3 - Baby girl born September 18 2009
We started trying for our last child in September 2011 and it has been a rollercoaster
BFP #4 Baby girl Lauren born sleeping at 18 weeks July 5 2012 (PPROM) no answers why
BFP #5 - D&C Feb 11 2013 (heart Stopped at 13 weeks)
BFP #6 - Miscarriage at 8 weeks Nov 28 2014
BFP #7 - Baby girl Kimiah Genesis born sleeping at 23 weeks June 28 2016 (PPROM and PtL) found out after autopsy i had an infection and need to go on antibiotic therapy if i get pregnant

My Ovulation Chart

Some days i feel to just give up but a part of me can't let go of the thought of hopefully one day God blessing us again!!!!
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