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I can't believe my co-worker!


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
April 9th, 2007, 03:45 PM
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I was talking today about my m/c and D&C because today is my first day back to work since then and I have some very supportive friends here at work. One co-worker said something to me and I still can't believe she said. I was 10 weeks when I found out that I had lost my baby, I thought it might happen since 8 weeks but it was official at 10. Anyway she proceeded to tell me "at least you weren't 14 weeks along like I was when I had my m/c" WHAT????? Like 4 weeks difference makes it easier??? I just kind of looked at her and didn't know what to say to that. A loss is a loss no matter how far along I was and how dare you make me feel like I shouldn't be grieving because poor you had a m/c at 14 weeks 10 YEARS AGO! GEEZ I am sorry you lost your child but we are talking about ME. Is that selfish?? I really am sorry she had to deal with a m/c but most people who try to comfort me that have gone through it at least try to sympathize and relate to my pain. Maybe I am emotional but I know I can come on here and rant! I just want to go home and hug my hubby!
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  #2  
April 9th, 2007, 03:56 PM
joanie1981's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am sorry that your co-worker was so insensitive. I think some people should REALLY think b4 they speak, but they don't. I am sure you know to just ignore people like that but it is so hard when you are so heart broken and vulnerable to have someone speak that way about your grief. I had a co-worker say something very similar like that to me when I went threw my m/c and I reacted the same way, just dead silence, I think she knew then that she put her foot in her mouth. I hope that all of your supportive co-workers give you the support that you need and ones like that, well, they just need to be avoided for now. Some people just aren't supportive and need to be in the "spotlight" all of the time.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow

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  #3  
April 9th, 2007, 06:43 PM
Sabina's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry your co-worker was such a jerk to you. I have had that reaction from some people as well as I lost my baby at 9 weeks. I would try to avoid her and spend more time with your supportive co-workers until you are feeling stronger. You don't need to put up with that.
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  #4  
April 10th, 2007, 12:40 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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What a brat! I wish I could have been there to give her the "Yeah, at least you weren't 38 weeks like me" to make her shut up.


I agree with you, a loss is a loss, no matter what stage. You still had your hopes and dreams for that child torn away from you. That hurts, and you have EVERY RIGHT to grieve!!


Ugh, I hate stupid people.
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  #5  
April 10th, 2007, 04:04 AM
MummyTo2Boys&1Girl's Avatar Loving my baby boy
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I agree with you, a loss is a loss, no matter what stage. You still had your hopes and dreams for that child torn away from you. That hurts, and you have EVERY RIGHT to grieve!![/b]
I couldn't agree more, I have had that said to me "at least you were only 6 weeks" Well thats OK then I haven't felt any grief or been hurt by the loss of my 1st child????

Keep out of her way.

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  #6  
April 10th, 2007, 08:24 AM
briena's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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awww im sorry hun today is going to be my first day back at work i hope nobody says anything stupid..
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  #7  
April 10th, 2007, 10:00 AM
ange2006's Avatar Veteran
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Your coworker was very insensitive. I don't know what people are thinking when they talk..... oh, I forgot, they don't!!!!! Don't worry about her. Maybe she's just trying to get people to feel sorry for her. But I agreee with you. It doesn't matter how little or far along you are. It still hurts just as much. Even if you see your baby or don't. My MIL said that atleast I didn't get to see my son because that would have been worse. At first I agreed, but now I think that it doesn't matter. I would rather seen him. Now I wonder what he looks like. People try to make it better, but then in the end they kinda make it worse. Everyone needs to keep their mouths shut and don't try to help. Sometimes that's better!!!! kwim??? HOpefully tomorrow will be a better day. Good Luck!
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  #8  
April 10th, 2007, 02:08 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sounds like all of us have been in the same boat. It drives me nuts when ppl assume that just b/c you didn't go to full term or the baby never went home , it really shouldn't hurt so bad. Whether it's your 10 wks, my 29 wks and Brittanie's 38 wks it hurts and our dreams were taken from us.
Ppl just don't get it do they?!?!
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  #9  
April 10th, 2007, 02:49 PM
CandiceN's Avatar Sam & Alex's mommy!
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I'm so sorry she was so insensitive. She sounds like someone who feels the need to have the spotlight, even when it comes to horrible things like this.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  #10  
April 10th, 2007, 03:04 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I'm still mad about this! Can I put on my pointy shoes and kick her?




Wow, must be the hormones...lol!
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  #11  
April 10th, 2007, 03:44 PM
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LOL Brittanie! I saw her again today and she was much more supportive. Just asking me how my day was going and if she could do anything for me. The more I think about it I know she was trying to make me feel better but it just didn't come out right!
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